An Old House Journal

Which house is the one with the most memories? Is it our first house or the one where we lived the longest? Is it the house where we were happiest? Or possibly the one where we raised our children?  

This was the house my family lived in for over twenty-seven years. When we moved here in September of 1978, our oldest child was nine. His sisters were seven, four, and two. Approximately. Someone was always having a birthday. The next September, we added our last baby. He always thought the house belonged exclusively to him, since he was born here. This was the perfect house to raise a family. We had over four acres and were in the country, but also within walking distance of a Casey's convenience store. There was a nature preserve over the hill and behind the house, so it always felt very private. Our first house had been on a busy street, so this seemed like a miracle.

Although the area was perfect, the house wasn't. It was an old farmhouse, and it needed some work. The first thing we did was an addition upstairs. The house quickly went from two bedrooms to five, and we added another bath. 

I first saw the house when I was in my early teens. My friend's grandparents lived there and her family lived next door. Her dad was born there. We were never quite sure when it was built. Old newspaper insulation in the attic was dated 1884. Most people settled on 1893 as the correct date, so it was at least 133 years old now. We think it was the oldest house in the area. Rooms had been rearranged and changed a lot over the years. 

We started a remodeling that lasted all of my children's growing up years. They thought it was perfectly normal to have plastic hung over all the doorways to keep out the plaster dust from the old lath and plaster walls. The first winter one of the beds was covered in white every time it snowed. Often it was so cold upstairs in the winter that everyone raced to get out of bed in the mornings and claim one of the floor registers downstairs. Lots of new windows and insulation helped, but it was always cold. It was a house of too many doorways and windows, and many small rooms. It also had a lot of charm and we loved living there and changing it so it suited us. I still miss all the shelves and bookcases Jim built into almost every room.

There were more outbuildings than we needed. Especially after my husband had to build the new garage to house the 1950 John Deere B tractor that he surprised me with for my 50th birthday. Anyone who knows me will realize I am not a tractor kind of girl, so it didn't take much to realize that it was really a present for him. He loved taking care of it and giving the grandbabies rides around the yard. I actually got my first trip to England because of that tractor, so it worked out well for both of us!

My favorite little building was the old milk shed. I had a cottage herb business for a few years when the kids were young, and that became my workshop. I grew many of my herbs and flowers and made wreaths, arrangements and potpourris. I had walls of shelves filled with gallon jars of dried herbs. Those years were happy times, until allergies to oils and plants ended that career.

                                                                              

When our children were grown, it became too big for the two of us. Jim didn't enjoy mowing all those acres as much as he used to, and we no longer needed five bedrooms. He said I would just fill all the empty spaces with "stuff", so we decided to downsize. 

The couple who bought the house lived there for several years without changing much at all. When they listed it for sale, I walked through it, and was surprised at how little it had changed. The wallpaper I loved was still on the sunporch walls. Friends had often teased me because I kept it for many years and never got tired of it. I would still have it again if I could. Seeing my old house looking the same was such a shock, because my life had changed so much. I had lost the son who was born there, and then his father. I moved and changed jobs several times, and then married my wonderful John and moved two more times!

The current owners have lived there three years and made many changes of their own. A few months ago they decided to sell it and I walked through at another open house. This time was a real surprise as many walls had been opened up, and everything had a very modern feel. Beautifully decorated, but it was no longer the home I remembered. There were more changes in store, as the young family decided to stay, and to rebuild.  As I've said before, the location is perfect. They have a darling baby, several horses, cows, dogs, and chickens, and the land is well used. Construction will start soon. Last week all the outbuildings and many trees were taken down. Today the house was leveled. So much of my history was in that house. But they are making their own history now and I wish them well.

(I don't know how many times they filled this dumpster, but all that is left tonight is a small pile of rubble)

EASE, ELEGANCE, and ECONOMY

 

I am a big fan of Jane Austen. Even more than her books, I like her letters. Even though she was born two hundred and fifty years ago, she said a lot in her novels of contemporary nineteenth century life that still make sense today.

She wrote a letter to her sister, Cassandra, in July of 1808 that contained this passage: "In the meantime for Elegance and Ease, and Luxury...I shall eat ice and drink French wine, and be above Vulgar Economy." Jane did like a good vacation.

Many years later I read these familiar words again in another book that I happened to find. This one was printed in  1971, and was one of my favorites when I was a young wife: 

It's out of print now but used copies can still be ordered through book stores. I liked it because it was funny, yet filled with charts and schedules. I remember she said that the only thing she really liked about housekeeping was arranging red roses in crystal vases. 

The words I remember most were her opinions on ease, elegance, and economy. Basically, she said that you can never have all three at the same time. You can always have two of them, but never all. And it changes. If you want to buy something, make something, entertain someone, or just do something wild and crazy for yourself, then one of these will have to be excluded.

It's possible to plan a party with ease and elegance, but not with economy, because you will have to spend more money. You can have an elegant, economical party, but it won't be easy, because you will be doing most of the work yourself. Or you can just throw something together and make it easy and economical, but you'll be missing all those fine touches that make it elegant!

I'm not sure why this has stuck with me for fifty years, but it applies to just about every situation. I'm not sure what happened to my copy of the book, but it is worth reading more than once. I remember making some pretty elaborate schedules when my kids were small. 

Another housekeeping book I liked was this one:

For quite a while I kept my whole life on index cards. The authors' motto was "We change lives with 3 x 5's. They were two sisters, Pam and Peggy, and were hilarious. They had a tv show for a while, and I always tried to watch it. They were even keynote speakers at a convention I went to, and let me be their assistant, because I wrote them a really schmaltzy fan letter. They wrote back to me. I probably still have it somewhere. I finally got rid of all their newsletters, and instantly regretted it.

Another homemaker author I enjoyed was Peg Bracken and her "I Hate to Cook" book and "I Hate to Housekeep" book. As people can probably tell, I am drawn to the funny and the ridiculous advice books, as long as they teach me something I want to learn.

And, then, of course there is Martha Stewart, who tried to make us think that we could have the Three E's, although I never feel that economy is involved. One year I wanted to use one of her Christmas ideas, but I realized that just the ribbon would cost my entire budget. And Martha isn't funny. Impressive, but not funny.

Today, I still enjoy all the housekeeping and decorating tips, but am becoming addicted to YouTube videos. Everyone I see has a perfect life. Recently, I've been watching several of the videos called "Wise Elders Insights." They are filled with good advice for our twilight years, but not with a lot of humor. They are narrated with a very soothing voice that makes me feel like I must have known Jane Austen personally.  (I might be a little touchy since I just had a birthday!) I'm still hunting for the perfect clean your house, organize your day, be clever, and enjoy your life and laugh whenever you can information. I know it must be out there.

Seventy Six

 

I celebrated another birthday yesterday. I received this cute little red velvet cake in the mail. It is cake for one (but I will share) and even came with a candle. It was a good day but on the quiet side. I did a little shopping and went to the thrift stores everyone seems to love lately. We were going to go out, but both decided to order a pizza instead.

I am really a pretty quiet person. I like to stay home. I can go days and days without leaving my house. Last week I had to be social four days in a row. I went to a funeral, a family reunion, a birthday dinner, and a long lunch with friends. That might not sound like a lot, but it was. Except for my cousin's funeral, they were all enjoyable occasions, but still wearing. Does this mean I am old? As a friend says, anything over seventy-five is almost eighty. And I am getting a lot more Facebook ads for wrinkle cream.

It really doesn't seem like almost a year since I wrote "Seventy five at Seventy Five." I just read it again, and I hope you will too. Parts of it make me feel pretty profound.

76. Make sure to actually do more of the things on my list this year.

 I am mostly an online shopper. I love the convenience, the almost instant availability, and especially being able to shop in the middle of the night. That can be a problem since we all know that no good decisions are ever made after midnight.                                                                                                       

When I was a teen, shopping with friends was a favorite activity. In fact we used to get dressed up to go shopping. I also liked to take the entire day to shop by myself. It didn't happen often, but I always looked forward to it. As a young mom, the grandparents would watch the little ones on Friday nights so I could go to the grocery store and mall by myself. Jim worked from 6am to11pm the first few years of our marriage, so I didn't get away by myself very often. Most of the time I had a gaggle of children with me. They were usually pretty well behaved. They do still shudder at any mention of  "The Pink House", which was a needlework store I loved to visit. They didn't. It was in an old victorian house and wasn't really very child friendly. 

Most of the places I shopped were pleasant. Many of the small boutique stores would have an area for children with color books and small toys.

I've always liked the little stores, junk stores, and antique shops. It's been a long time since I spent a whole day at "The Mall". In fact I still think of our largest retail mall as new, even though it's been here for over twenty years.

I did go shopping for a while yesterday. I don't last a whole day anymore. My local craft store (JoAnn's) has closed, and I have a really hard time finding what I want at the other stores. So it wasn't my most successful trip. And, of course, now it is Christmas in July. Nearly half of the places I went have tremendous displays of Halloween and Christmas items. I am not ready yet. But, by the time I am, I already know that the items I want will be sold out.

My main objective right now is to shop from the things I already have. I already know that I will never live long enough to actually use all the things I've already accumulated. But, why is it that I never have the one item that I need?

Happy July!

 July is my birthday month, and I am immature enough to celebrate it like a child. In fact, now I celebrate all month. I know a lot of people say that they don't even notice their birthdays or think the day isn't special, but I have always believed that it should be an exciting and whimsical day. After all, we only get one birthday a year.

I think that since it is the middle of the year, and the middle of summer, that should be enough of a reason for a party. When I was a teen, my friends all gave me a surprise party for at least two of my birthdays. One was a regular boy/girl party, and I think I found out about it ahead of time. I remember that someone (my boyfriend, I think) gave me a Barbra Streisand album. She was one of my favorite singers. The second party was early morning. I was staying at my friend's house, and everyone woke me up. I remember my orange pajamas, and bright blue scarf covering my pink sponge hair rollers. Everyone else was dressed. I was so happy that only girls were invited to that one. We had a delicious breakfast and presents. I still think that was a really clever way to have a surprise party.

Through the years there have been lots of family birthday dinners, and time with family. I have had a lot of birthdays.

Once we drove into the country to buy a load of antique bricks to make a patio at our first house. The truck broke down, and it was a hot and crabby day. And then we unexpectedly sold the house, and never even got to use the patio.

I've always tried to take the day off work for my birthday. Usually I've gone shopping by myself, or out to lunch with a friend. When I couldn't get the day off, I was probably whiny and miserable. One year, my work friends had a little party for me, and someone sent me flowers, so I actually got a lot of attention. They even decorated my desk.

One terrible summer, I had a birthday in the middle of radiation treatments, and the nurses brought me a cake. They had noticed the date on my chart, and surprised me with it. Cake always makes a bad day better.

Another time I attended an embroidery class with a nationally known teacher who had come to Iowa. That was an enjoyable day. I did refrain from telling a roomful of strangers that it was my birthday, even though I was singing Happy Birthday to Me on the inside.

 I like to celebrate from midnight to midnight. I have always believed the whole day should be memorable. Many times I've written in a journal, reflected on the past year, and made resolutions for the next one. I also try to do a tarot card reading.

One year everyone forgot my birthday. Everyone. That was the year I decided to celebrate by myself, and make sure every year was special.

My first year alone, I was going to buy myself a little present every day. That only lasted a few days because I spent my whole budget on an antique desk that I found and loved. It had to spend a few years in storage with most of my other furniture when I lived in the fraternity house, but I was thrilled to get it back again.

Birthday cards are another thing that I keep. That probably isn't a surprise to anyone. I really like the nice ones. I used to get a monkey card almost every year from my late husband. He knew to also get a pretty one too. I'm glad that John hasn't kept up the monkey tradition.

One tradition that I do every year is to make a New Moon List on the first New Moon after my birthday. It sounds very greedy, but the list has to be physical things that you hope to get in the next year. The first one I saved was in 1992! I put them in a sealed envelope and open it on my birthday. I did forget once and made the list on a full moon instead. I don't think any of my wishes came true that year. I put the date on my calendar. It's a silly tradition, I know. I'm not even sure where I learned about it.

I believe everyone should make their own silly traditions and that whenever your special day is, it should be celebrated. I'm planning to have a good July. I hope you are too.

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