Not every one of the Moran-Daugherty-Brafford clan was able to get together yesterday to celebrate the High Holy Day of St Patrick, but we had a small yet enthusiastic showing. John and I left early but I'm sure there was some singing going on later in the day. I can say without bragging that my kids know the words to just about every Irish song that was ever written. I've put my Irish music away for awhile, and I'm pretty sure that John is happy about that. Even though he is a lot more Irish than I am, he only knows the basics when it comes to Irish music.

We've celebrated lots of St. Paddy's Days over the years and I'm sure it's a tradition that will keep on going.

We met at Captain Roys, which I'm sure was just about the most festive place in our city. My daughter, Meghan spent weeks making decorations. There were lots of green paper chains, buntings, lights, and shamrocks. 

I tried to show a really good video, but I guess that is beyond my capabilities. So, use your imagination. It was grand, as they would say in the old country.

Well, the holiday is over now, so I will just leave you with one more Irish thought.

"May you always have walls for the wind.

A roof for the rain.

Tea beside the fire.

Laughter to cheer you,

Those you love near you,

And all that your heart might desire"

Wearin' of the Green

 

It's almost time for St. Patrick's Day, which is an American holiday where everyone is Irish. And if you're not, then you should be. St. Paddy's Day was a holy day in Ireland, to honor St. Patrick, who actually wasn't Irish at all. He was originally from Britain and from a wealthy family. As the story goes, he was kidnapped by Irish pirates as a young man and ended up in pagan Ireland. He eventually became a missionary and Bishop in the Christian church. Legend tells us that he used a shamrock to teach the concept of the Trinity. He is also said to be responsible for driving all of the snakes out of Ireland.  He is thought to have died on March 17, in the year 470 or 471. That became his Feast Day. It didn't become a public holiday until 1901. It remained a religious day for many years. The pubs were even kept closed on March 17 until 1970. The first official government sponsored St. Pat's Festival was in 1995 in Dublin. The original purpose was to promote tourism and boost the economy.

There is a very large Irish population in the United States, and most of them love to celebrate this day. It is customary to wear at least a little something green. That will keep you from getting pinched by a leprechaun. It's better to be safe than sorry.

The first Irish parade that was recorded in North America was in New York City in 1762. Irish soldiers in the British army marched to Irish music on March 17 to honor their heritage. Now there are parades on this day all over the world.

In my own family, my children claim to be nearly one hundred percent Irish. That isn't possible since Ancestry.com claims that only  about six percent of my blood is green. The rest they got from their dad. We all know just about every Irish song, so I'm sure that qualifies. And I think every one of us has an Irish sense of humor.

Quiet Down Cobwebs

According to the American Cleaning Institute, National Spring Cleaning Week will be here soon. Always beginning on the fourth Sunday of March, it will start on March 22 and go until March 28. It's almost time to get those feather dusters flying. The word is out that 92% of the population still engages in spring cleaning.

Ritual cleaning has been a part of this time of year for thousands of years. Over three thousand years ago, ancient Persian women called it "shaking the house". Sweeping the dust away and removing clutter was thought to bring good luck. It was also a time for purification. Throughout the ancient world, brooms, brushes, and sea sponges were used to get rid of grime and houses were scrubbed from top to bottom.

Springtime is traditionally a time for renewal. In winter our bodies produce less melatonin (the sleepy hormone). The combination of sunlight and warmer weather make us want to open the windows and freshen things up.

Let's move on from ancient times and look at the nineteenth century. Even though the Victorians didn't invent spring cleaning, they did make it extremely popular. After a winter of coal fires, ashes, oil lamps and woodsmoke, everything in a house needed a good cleaning. It was time to focus on a higher level of detail. Time to brighten up the nooks and crannies, and, in the process, to turn the house topsy turvy. And there were rules. 

Mrs. Beetons Book of Household Management was written in 1861 and it gives us rules for nearly every situation.

"Begin at the top of the house and work down. Move everything out of the room. Scrub the floor. Beat the feather beds and mattresses and replace the curtains."

A place for everything and everything in its' place.

And the Golden Rule: Start at the top and then bottom out the room. Dry rooms were to be done first, and then the wet rooms. There were several opinions on which should done first. Should it be dusting or sweeping and mopping?

Throughout the year schedules have remained fairly consistent to cover all the necessary tasks. Here's one from the 1920's:

Monday-Laundry

Tuesday-Mending and Sewing

Wednesday-Silver, Pantry, Ice Box  "Afternoon Out"

Thursday- (Alternate Weeks) Living Room, Hall Stairs or Dining Room, Hall, Stairs

Friday- Bedrooms, Bath

Saturday- Kitchen, Closet, Ice Box

I like this one. It has an afternoon out and a sewing day!

I still see a lot of embroidered dishtowels in antique shops with "Days of the Week" pictures on them, but I don't think a lot of women keep such rigid housekeeping schedules now. I didn't grow up with disciplined schedules, but my mother-in-law had them. I think she shook her head at my mad-dash ways a lot of the time, but we grew to understand one another. When I was a teenager, I had a friend who could never go anywhere on Saturday mornings because that was the day they rearranged the furniture. Every Saturday morning!

My own version of Spring Cleaning is probably more like Mole's in a favorite children's book. We both work very hard until we get distracted.

The Wind In The Willows by Kenneth Grahame

The Mole had been working very hard all the morning, spring- cleaning his little home. First with brooms, then with dusters; then on ladders and steps and chairs, with a brush and a pail of whitewash; till he had dust in his throat and eyes, and splashes of whitewash all over his black fur, and an aching back and weary arms. Spring was moving in the air above and in the earth below and around him, penetrating even his dark and lowly little house with its spirit of divine discontent and longing. It was small wonder, then, that he suddenly flung down his brush on the floor, said 'Bother!' and 'O blow!' and also 'Hang spring-cleaning!' and bolted out of the house without even waiting to put on his coat. 

The Kindness of Strangers

 I notice a lot of things when watching British mystery tv. Of course everybody drinks a lot of tea. And when the detective interviews someone about a suspect or a victim over a cuppa, the person will almost always say, "I really don't know anything about it. He kept himself to himself." We don't hear that here in the United States, because most people love to talk, especially about themselves and their history. 

I don't usually think of myself as someone who is an oversharer. At least not in person. When it comes to writing, I am much more likely to spill the tea. Does anyone else wonder what that means? Well, I looked it up. I thought it was a new saying, but it has actually been a bit of American slang since the 1980's. It means to tell the truth about something scandalous, dramatic or juicy.

One thing I notice a lot is that people tend to think that no one overhears when they are talking on a cellphone. I am always surprised at the ones who will talk loudly on speakerphone when they are out shopping. Just the other day I felt like I was following a woman at Target because I could hear her conversation from several aisles away. She was telling a friend very intimate details about her divorce and custody hearing and talked the entire time she was in the store.

A few days later I was in the pharmacy, when a man looking at greeting cards shared family stories with a stranger who was also looking at cards. They weren't good stories, and I'm surprised he was actually buying cards for people he disliked so much. Not to be out done, she also had her share of horror stories. Once again, they were very loud, and I could easily hear them from several aisles away.

Now if you are starting to get the idea that I am just a creepy eavesdropper sort of person, I'm really not. Anyway, not most of the time. For the sake of clarity, I will admit that during the time when I was alone and lonely I used to deliberately listen to old married couples in restaurants. More than once I fought off the urge to go to their tables and tell them to be nicer to each other.

There are also people who want to share happy times. There is a cashier I see in another store who tells everyone the story of how his parents met. He enjoys it every time he repeats it, and I try to take the time to listen.

Sometimes it is easier to share things with strangers than with those we know. When I was going through sadness and misery, I remember more than one occasion when I cried with women who were there for me in the very worst moments, but I never saw them again. I will always think of them as my angels and remember the kindness they gave me when I desperately needed it.

It is a good thing to share connections and experiences with other people. Let's just try not to do it loudly and publicly.

Bright and Balanced

I have a "collection" of articles and journal thoughts that I have written over the years. Sometimes I go through them when I am looking for ideas. A lot of them were first written over twenty five years ago (and more) when my life was much busier and more complicated. Now they are out of date and have to be modified a bit if I want to use them. An example is my article about my first new cell phone. Most of my writings during those busy years was about organizing, procrastinating, housekeeping, families, holidays, and keeping everything in balance. I guess I still like to write about a lot of those subjects, but my perspective is a lot different now. My opinions are still probably about the same.

A favorite article was about balance. It was inspired by a visit to a coffee shop with a friend. This was so long ago that the offerings were just plain old coffee instead of all the fancy concoctions that we see now. The pots were labeled with the flavor and descriptions. The first one I saw was Vivid and Vibrant. It sounded exciting and mysterious. My friend went right to the brew labeled Rich and Robust. We had just been discussing finances and health, so I thought that was a perfect choice for her. After a little thought, I decided on Bright and Balanced.

Balance has always been one of my favorite words. I have a tendency towards balance in whatever I do. I never want too much of one thing or not enough of another. I've always felt more even when there is balance in my life. 

But, I have learned that it isn't always easy to keep that balance. Sometimes, our lives just get too busy. I have found myself going in too many directions at once and trying to accomplish too much. These are the times when we feel like we are trying to juggle bricks and feathers. No matter what we do it is hard to keep our lives at an even keel.

For me there are some classic hints when things begin to tip too far in one direction. Does this sound familiar? Are you suddenly missing appointments even when you've written them down? Or have you stopped writing things down, and just trust your memory? I can never do that. A few days ago, I completely forgot an afternoon with my crafting group that I had really been looking forward to. I hadn't done much of anything for several weeks because of my dreaded battle with shingles. They all had a lovely time without me but did make a darling bird's nest on a spring for me. I didn't get to have any of the treats though. I heard it was a very fancy tea party.

Perhaps you've noticed that you are misplacing your keys, or locking them in your car. If so, that is a sure sign that your life has gotten too complicated and out of balance. Take a deep breath, now e-x-h-a-l-e, and decide what you can eliminate.

When you add something new to your life, do you also give up something? Or do you keep squeezing in one more thing, one more appointment, one more event? Of course you do. We all want it all, and we want it all right now. Unfortunately, that isn't what we usually get.

Instead we may get tired and discouraged, because we are trying to handle too many things at once. If this sounds familiar, then it's time to start putting balance back into your life. Get some extra keys made and keep copies of your passwords and card numbers where you can get to them. I like to disguise them as phone numbers in my address book.

My life is so simple and uncomplicated now compared to how it used to be. I sometimes wonder if feeling unbalanced is because we are getting older and not because we are too busy. I'm not even going to mention that someone who shall remain nameless forgot to change from his slippers to his shoes when we went out to dinner a few nights ago. I might be getting punished for sharing that. I just lost half of this post when I tried to publish it and had to write it again. It may be too late for me to be Vivid and Vibrant.

LOVECHARMS AND POTIONS

 Today I have a few of my favorite things to share. They are gypsies, flowers, love charms, and tea. If you take the time to look at old cards and other ephemera, you will notice that these items appear often. What could be better for Valentine's week?

There are lots of superstitions and charms about love. Maybe we can try a few. Here's a card trick for you. Draw all the face cards from a deck of cards, put them in a stocking on Friday night and place the stocking under your pillow. When the sun rises on Saturday morning (Valentine's Day!) draw a card. If it's a King it means a speedy marriage. A Queen will mean no marriage at all. And a Jack is a seducer who will surely give you trouble. Diamonds are riches. Hearts mean true love, Spades are thrift, and clubs are for poverty. This is from Fontaine's Golden Wheel Fortune and Dream Book, which was published in 1862. I'm not sure the odds are very good for this one, but you take your chances. 

There are many counting rhymes. Some use cards or flowers or birds. Most of us have pulled petals off a daisy while saying "He loves me, He loves me not." Haven't we? We can get a little more dramatic with this:

He loves me.

He don't.

He'll have me.

He won't.

He would if he could, but he can't.

How about this one?

1-I love

2-I love

3-I love, I say

4-I love with all my heart

5-I cast away

6-He loves

7-She loves

8-They both love

9-He comes

10-He tarries

11-He courts

12-He marries

There are more, but you get the idea.

Many of the old sayings and charms involved flowers, birds, herbs and dreams. 

If you keep a dried stalk of yarrow, it will bring you seven years of married bliss. Nine stems will bring lasting love. If a man takes a sprig of basil from the hands of a woman he will love her forever. But, never cut parsley or you will have bad luck in love. You don't want to take that chance, so pinch it off when you need a little garnish.

If you want to make a wish, write it on a sage leaf and put it under your pillow. Sleep on it for three nights. If you dream of what you desire, then you will get it. If you don't then bury the sage.

This also works if you place lavender under your pillow. Think of your wish. You only get one chance for this one.

And finally, on the night before Valentine's Day pin five bay leaves to your pillow. Wear a freshly washed night gown and say:

Good valentine, be kind to me

In dreams let me my true love see.

And John, just to let you know, you're my cup of tea!

A Fish Story

 

Yesterday was John's birthday. He is 82. I don't know if he would want me to tell you that, but after all, this is my blog so I can say whatever I want. For his birthday we decided to get a fish. We have a picture here of Mr. Fish. This is the closest thing we have had for a pet since I have been part of this family.

We spent a lot of time discussing this and wondering if we were ready. Pet ownership, after all, is a big responsibility. I have never had a fish. Several years ago, John had a goldfish who was also named Mr. Fish. He lived several years. He seemed to have a real relationship with Mr. Fish, because there are family stories about how he would tickle Mr. Fish's belly. I guess they were very close.

We talked about the name for our new family member. John wanted Mr. Fish 2. I vetoed that because everyone should have their own name. I am Mrs. Brafford 2 but would really like to be called by my first name. I think our fish would feel the same. We decided on the name Rudolfo.

We also talked about where to put him. John wanted the coffee table. I didn't. My vote was the mantel or maybe the top of the desk. If there was going to be any belly tickling going on, I didn't want it in my direct line of vision.

So as you can see, we did not make this decision lightly. We googled and read reviews and picked a local store that sounded promising. When we got there, the building was open, but no one was there. When we went back to our car we noticed some activity next door, so we went inside. We discovered that the owner was in the middle of downsizing and wouldn't really have anything available for a few weeks. We were disappointed because we really wanted to buy local. We googled again and decided to try a big box pet store on the other side of town. This was like a pet supermarket. They had everything pet related we could think of. Everything, that is, except fishbowls!

Did you know that fishbowls are considered inhumane? I didn't. I thought that a fish would happily live in a fishbowl. Not true. Modern fish need fish tanks. And if they are goldfish then they need very big fish tanks. After hearing how terrible we were for wanting a goldfish bowl we decided to try again. The next store didn't have very good reviews but we thought we would give it a try. The reviews were right. The building was very old and dirty, but the owner was very knowledgeable about fish. Once again we heard how no one has a fishbowl anymore and that we really needed a big ugly tank. I was holding a small one that I thought might be a possibility when there was a sudden movement by our feet. I screamed and jumped as a mouse ran by, barely missing my shoe. The owner said, very nonchalantly, that he usually catches about four a day. I didn't drop the tank, which was a good thing. But by this time we decided we weren't ready to be fish parents yet.

We changed to his alternate birthday gift which was a sports jacket. We drove back across town to the big mall. We hadn't been there since John bought a suit for our wedding. He still gets online ads  from the store at least once a week. When we got there we couldn't find the store. Finally we learned that it closed a few years ago! So we tried another store and he found a perfect fit. Then we looked at the price tag, and it was over seven times our budget! That is why I never shop at the big mall!!!

One more time, across town again. He found the right jacket at the right price, and everyone was happy. We ended the day with a nice birthday dinner with family. The only problem there was a nice gift card for a movie theatre which no longer accepts them. There aren't any AMC theatres in our area anymore. Who knew? Obviously, not us.

I do hope this doesn't indicate how our year is going to be. At least my birthday is several months away.

I've always been a bit political. When I was a senior in high school, I was a Senate page in our Iowa legislature. It was a wonderful experience, and I happily missed my last school semester to be able to work at our state capitol. Our session (1967!!) was the longest one and didn't adjourn until July.  We sat on a bench and answered a bell when a senator wanted something. This ranged from taking messages to the governor and other offices, to picking up bills from the library, to getting a candy bar from the lunch room. We each had a shift in the phone room, and took phone messages to them. There was a row of phone booths where they answered their calls. This room was also where all the lobbyists hung out. There was a lot of "wheelin' and dealin' " back then, I think. We also learned a lot about the way the government worked and had weekly sessions where we went over the bills and discussed them.

Of course, there was a lot of fun too. I probably knew about all the nooks and crannies, attics, and secret tunnels in the Capitol building. It was a very innocent time, with no scandals going on that I ever knew about.

In the photo above, I am the shortest one, and I still have the same hairstyle today!

In 2010 I worked at the Legislature again. This time I was one of the telephone operators for the House. Our main job was to transfer phone calls to each of their phones. I think most of the calls went to voice mail and then it was their job to return them. We were in a separate room so I didn't get to see most of the proceedings. We did get to listen to some of the meeting though. I learned a lot about how state governments work. There is so much pressure put on the representatives and senators to vote with the party. There is much more pressure in Congress. They need to be reminded that they are the voice of the people who elected them.

I saved all the daily calendars and papers and put them into a junk journal with photos. It was an interesting way to remember moments of the session. This one was one of the shortest ones and ended after three months.

Over the years I have gone to a few political rallies and protests, but probably not as many as I should. I have so much admiration for the citizens in Minnesota right now. And even more fear. I am afraid for them, and for the immigrants, and for our country. I am afraid for the relationships and friendships that may be damaged beyond repair. I urge everyone to call their legislators and let them know what you think. They document those calls even if you don't speak to them directly.

You are allowed to say, at any point, I can't support this. Even if you did. Even if you were unsure. You can at any point say "this has gone too far." And while the best time to say that was earlier, second best time is now.

(I don't know who said this first. I have seen it several times on the internet. If you know, tell me and I will credit it.)

BE MINE, VALENTINE

Christmas is over, but before the merchandise was even put away, the aisles in stores were filled with items for Valentines Day. I'm not sure who wants to buy cards and toys and chocolates and flowers early in January, but they have certainly been available.  

I've barely gotten things packed up this new year, so my heart and valentine collections aren't out yet. I am hoping that next week will all be back to normal. I do love hearts. I am not so crazy about pink except at this time of year. And I love the sentimental. I only want to see the pretty ones. 

Many of us remember decorating shoe boxes and collecting valentines at school. When I was in primary school I don't think there was a rule about giving valentines to everyone. So it was really a kind of popularity contest. I think I usually fell somewhere in between low and middle. I'm pretty sure everyone gets a valentine now. I don't know if they decorate boxes anymore.

There was a time when "Penny Dreadfuls" were popular. These were just what they sound like! They were also known as "Vinegar Valentines". They were cheap cards with impolite verses. A typical card might tell someone why she was destined to be an old maid. These were often sent anonymously and were popular from the 1830's up until the early twentieth century. There aren't as many of them around because the recipients often threw them away. I probably would have.

There really was a St Valentine. In fact, there was more than one. And there were lots of stories. He (or they) was martyred in the 3rd century. His feast day was on February 14 which coincided with the Roman festival of Lupercalia, which was one of those wild festivals that the early Church wanted to make disappear. He became the patron of love, romance, and marriage, instead of the popular Roman fertility celebrations.

Throughout the next several centuries, letters and poems were written to and by lovers and became known as valentines. 

There are many stories about them, but my favorite is about Esther Howland, known as the "Mother of the American Valentine". Esther belonged to a wealthy family in Massachusetts. Her father very successfully sold stationery and paper products. After Esther graduated from  Mount Holyoke Female Seminary in 1847, she received an elaborate English valentine from one of her father's business associates. As many of us are apt to do she said, " I can make that.". And she did. After ordering some paper lace and ribbons and stickers, she made 10 prototypes. Her brother took them and showed them to clients when he was getting orders. He came home with $5000.00 worth of orders and that began her business. She recruited her friends and they set up an assembly line on the third floor of the family home and began cutting and pasting. Her business just kept growing. She also had a cottage industry and dropped off supplies to women in the area and then would pick up the finished cards in a week. She operated her business for several years and sold it in 1881. She never married, even though she was surrounded by romance and lace.

Valentines have varied from plain to fancy. Esther's were known for paper hinges that made the lace stand out and little compartments and envelopes to hold a romantic token. The words were always on the inside rather than the front.

As time progressed there were fewer elaborate cards and more postcards. Don't forget to buy your Valentines before it is too late. After all, they've been in the stores for almost a month!

A LITTLE BIT OF THIS, A LITTLE BIT OF THAT

I am still recovering from my bout of shingles, so the brain fog continues. Last Friday I handed someone a tape measure when she asked for a camera, and I am blaming that on the medications.  It's been a mixture of good days and days of napping. And that's all I have to say about that.

January is one of my main months of making plans and getting myself organized in my house and in my head. I usually start out with at least a few resolutions and always try to pick a "word of the year". I really haven't thought about it much this month, but here is what I came up with:

  1. Lose weight. My husband has lost more than 30 pounds this year just by deciding he would. I have lost the same 4 pounds about 30 times.

  2. Exercise more. That should be easy, since I have hardly moved at all so far in 2026.

   3. Find the lost things that keep wandering about and that I keep wondering about.

4.  Spend some more time working on my writing. I really want to have a book of essays.

   5. Finally, get all of Christmas put away and organized into the correct boxes. 

I think that might be a To Do List and not resolutions!

Next is my Word of the Year. This year it is a phrase: "Creative Forager".

There is a reason. I want to spend more time creating and I really mean to look through and use so many of my supplies without buying a lot of new things. I really want to let the things go that I don't need.

It's that time of year.  And I may be just a little bit late!

MORE THAN YOU PROBABLY WANT TO KNOW

For the first time in months, I have missed my self-imposed Wednesday deadline. I admit to being slightly discombobulated lately and it looks like it won't be going away very soon! 

Years ago we had the summer of chickenpox. My youngest daughter was exposed during the last few days of preschool. We began the summer with spots and calamine lotion and continued until it was time to go back to school. One by one, each of my five children started to itch. The oldest was eleven and the youngest was a baby. Each one waited out almost the full incubation period of twenty one days before they got it. That's how we made it last all summer. That was a summer I will never forget. I don't remember when I had chicken pox, but I know I was very young. 

In order to get shingles, a person must have had chicken pox at some time in their lives. The chicken pox vaccine will not completely eliminate the chance of shingles in the future, but the case will be much, much lighter.

 There is also a vaccine available for shingles and I think everyone should get it. I did, last summer. There are two doses and I got them both. Unfortunately, the virus is only 91% effective. This means that 9 % of us will win (or lose) the Shingles lottery. And yes, I am one of the (un)lucky ones.

I started to feel bad a few days before Christmas and thought I had pulled a muscle at my exercise class. It kept getting worse and soon my right side had a burning pain all the time, and intermittent stabbing with invisible shards of broken glass. I was waiting for the terrible rash I had heard about, but it didn't come.  When I was able to see the doctor I discovered that I had internal shingles (What?!?) and probably wouldn't even get a rash. No rash, but the internal variety might as well be called eternal, because it lasts longer. So far I have had 2 visits, several phone calls and taken 72 pills. I just got a refill for 6 a day for however many weeks or even months it takes to calm my nerve endings. Hopefully, this will help me to sleep. However, a side effect is brain fog. More than I usually have, so that should be interesting!

I just want to add that these poor little waifs are not my children, and the 7 on the calendar looks suspiciously like a 2. I created these images with AI. Obviously, I am still a beginner.

Another New Year...What Will It Bring?

I keep this card in a frame where I can see it everyday. It reminds me of all the things I want. Wishes and Magic and Dreams and Good Madness. Books and Kisses and Surprises!

This holiday season did not turn out the way I planned. I spent most of it being sick. Our family Christmases were after the main event so I had marked off that last week to finish shopping, and wrapping, and making everything Christmasy. I started to make several gifts this year, and they were all in the finishing stages too. And I felt so awful I didn't even care (not too much, anyway). So I would really like a do-over. I did get to see everyone. I was not contagious. And of course, one side of the family forgot to take pictures. I'm not sure why that happens, but we hardly ever get a group photo. Next time.

 

It is New Year's Eve now that I write this and I don't think I will be awake to see the new year arrive. I haven't written any resolutions or even chosen my word of the year yet. I often try to do a card reading on December 31st, but that will have to wait too. I am on the mend, so I will soon be feeling like myself again, but not yet. Hoping you are all celebrating and that 2026 will be the year we all all hoping for, filled with love, happiness, and good magic. Happiest of New Years to us all.

Everywhere a Happy Christmas

 

Everywhere, Everywhere Christmas tonight. Wishing the world a happy holiday season and joyful Christmas today.