Hello, Hello

 

The telephone was invented just one hundred and fifty years ago. Alexander Graham Bell was originally trying to find a way to make the telegraph system work better. 

How much have times changed? I remember watching "The Walton's" tv show, which was set in the 1930's. I think that only the general store in their little mountain town had a telephone. Other tv shows often had people listening in on party lines as part of the plot. Often, several families shared. When I was a child, I remember sharing a line with first two neighbors, and then with one other family. There was always a click if the neighbors picked up the phone and you would know if they were listening. Having only a two-party line seemed pretty impressive.  As a young teen, I had my own phone. It was a blue princess design. I also got my own private line. Not because we were wealthy, but because my dad had a lot of business calls when he was at home in the evenings. He really didn't like it when the phone lines were tied up when he was waiting on or wanting to make a call. My dad would have loved having a cell phone.

Phone calls were ten cents when you used a phone booth. Our moms always made sure that we had a dime in case we needed to call home. And that was really only for emergencies or if you were going to be late! Just imagine, we could be gone for hours with no one knowing where we were. Just as long as we were home by curfew! 

When I was a young mom, I had a wall phone in the kitchen with an extra long cord. I could do all sorts of things while I talked to my other mom friends. We all felt liberated. A few years later, I worked in a hospital as a telephone operator, patient information clerk, and for the doctors' answering service. After that experience, I hardly talked on the phone at all. 

The first cell phones became available in 1973 but weren't commercially released until 1983. They were at least 10 inches long,  weighed two and a half pounds and were about the size of a brick. After being charged for ten hours they only worked for half an hour. They improved radically over the next several years.

I really don't remember when I got my first cell phone. I know I resisted for several years. I didn't like the idea that someone could contact me at any moment of the night or day. When I did get my first phone, I didn't even give my number out. Now, just like nearly everyone else, I feel totally discombobulated if I forget my phone!

Phones today are used for so much more than just talking. Most people spend a lot more time texting. I'm not good at it. I still text in complete sentences that are grammatically correct. But I do love to get text messages and emails. Then I don't have to actually answer the phone. Am I the only one?

Doom Scrolling is now a thing. Why check your phone just to make sure that you get all of the bad news? I suppose this is also part of the fear of missing out. Do we really need to know everything?

 Today the average person checks their phone about 150 times a day. (When I checked this information, the number varied between 144 and 200!) This is an average. I know I am saying "Not Me", but many people do use their phones beyond that. I look around at restaurants and there is usually at least one person at each table using a phone. Sometimes all of them are, and there is no conversation at all. I see people in grocery stores verifying their entire orders with someone at home. Waiting in line means checking your phone. I have heard an unlimited number of very private conversations while out and about. For some reason, the talkers must think that we don't hear them.

Thirty-three states now have legislation against phone use while driving. It's been a long time, but this is a trend that needs to continue. Some parents are starting to re-think the idea of giving phones to very young children. Is it time to make more changes?

Time Marches On

When is it time to start worrying about aging? I remember when I turned 50 and wrote an article I called "The Fifties Queen" about the ways people's attitude towards women changed. It was actually published on an author's website. (Jennifer Louden, who has written several books.) I thought for a while that would be a huge turning point in my life as a writer.  Obviously, it wasn't because it was twenty-six years ago!

I used to work most often with people who were younger than me. It seemed that as soon as the subject of age came up, I felt like co-workers treated me differently.  I learned that fifty is the age when many women think they are becoming invisible. Suddenly, it seems like your opinions don't matter as much.

Excerpt from The 50's Queen:

"Things change when you are fifty. You are suddenly in another age bracket in surveys. You are no longer the young mother, and you don't feel quite old enough to be wise. Doctors study your charts a little bit more and suddenly start ordering tests just to have a baseline. Hormone therapy is recommended as the immediate cure to any problems that you have now or may have sometime in the distant (or not so distant) future. Every question seems to have same answer-that you are fifty now, and things will be different. If you lose or forget about anything, it is suddenly attributed to your age, even if you have been losing and forgetting things for years."

One of the biggest jolts for me at fifty, was when my mom called to tell me that there was a big sale on underwear at a local department store. "Big, white, cool, and loose" she said. "Just the way WE like them." I was crushed. It was one of those moments when time stood still. She then went on to say that my younger sisters wouldn't be interested, but of course I would. It was a defining moment of my womanhood. I started asking everyone what kind of underwear they bought. I wore sexy bikini panties way longer than I probably should have, just because I didn't want to give in to reality. Now that I am older and wiser, I believe in comfort.

I am still losing and forgetting things, but now my friends and I know that it is because we really are getting older. And sometimes we wonder if our absent-minded foibles are just innocent mistakes or symptoms of something more serious. John and I are watching one another and putting a reminder by our exit door. He is a few years older than I am, so I have been teasing him about things that happen here. He has been known to go out to restaurants in his house slippers instead of his outside shoes. He has also forgotten his wallet more than once. He wears a hearing aid when he wants to and pretends he is listening to me the rest of the time. Sometimes we will miss an exit when driving. I am the one who forgets and loses my phone the most often. Just last night I came home from a funeral visitation and realized that my shirt was inside out. There was a washing instruction tag on one side seam, and a size tag for all the world to see. And of course, all the raw edges of the seams. It's a good thing we have one another for our old age.

WHAT I'M READING: I just started Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke. It is called a satirical and dark thriller about a trad-wife influencer. I haven't gotten very far yet and am reading it for an online book club.

Tiptoe Through The Tulips

My husband John always likes to be early for things. I think we've had to make a few adjustments since I like to be right on time but have a tendency to be late. Now I ask him what time he wants to leave. He tells me, and I think he is learning not to expect me to be ready to go until that very exact time. For quite a while after we got married he would suddenly announce that he was "ready to go" with no advance warning whenever we had to be somewhere. We finally discussed it and I found out that he thought he was making a joke. It was a line from some television show that I had hardly heard of and never watched. So he wasn't really trying to irritate the heck out of me. He thought he was being funny. I thought this marriage might end before it even really got started.

I tell you this story to explain why we are at The Tulip Festival more than a week before it even begins. 

Pella is a quaint little village about 45 miles from Iowa's capital city. It is a great place to go for a day trip or even a couple of days any time of the year. Cute shops, good restaurants, a town square and, and museums make it a good place to visit at any time.

There are probably tulip celebrations in many little towns with a Dutch heritage, but I'm pretty sure that the one in Pella, Iowa is one of the best.

We visited eight days before the official start time. There were quite a few people around, but nothing like it will be next week. I think we started going early because one year we couldn't find a place to park without walking too many blocks. And I really don't like big crowds.

It takes a lot of planning to make something like this happen. This is the ninety-first year for the festival. The Parks Department and volunteers are responsible for planting over 120,000 tulips bulbs every fall. There are at least seventy different varieties. A sample of each is planted in the Avenue of Tulips, so visitors can see them all at one time. This year our spring weather started too soon, so some of the flowers have already peaked, but there are still many to see. I remember one other time when some of the flowers bloomed too early. There were rumors that more tulips were brought in to fill any gaps. After tulip time ends, the bulbs are dug up every single year. People are allowed to collect them. I hear that is a really crazy time. They do this so that there is a different variety every year. I hear that tulip blooms are the prettiest the first year. After the blooms are gone, annual flowers are planted. We don't have any tulips yet at our house, but want to get some this fall.

I felt a little under the weather today, and was even more bedraggled than a few of the tulips, so we didn't stay long. 

There is always a lot to see, during Tulip Time and beyond, so you can visit the website and also pick up one of the free magazines which gives a lot of information.

Fun Facts: The boyhood home of Wyatt Earp (Brave, Courageous, and Bold!) is in the Pella Historical Village.

Don't forget the Klokkenspel. It was made especially for Pella and is part of the large town clock. The musical bells and mechanical wooden figures "perform" several times a day.

The windmill is also very picturesque. It is one of the tallest working windmills in North America. I have never been inside, but tours are available which include all five floors.

The Opera House is definitely worth visiting. And the canal is very pretty. There are parades and street sweeping twice a day. The costumes are very authentic. The Tulip Queen and her Court make a big appearance.

There are many, many things to see and do in Pella all year long. If you can make the trip, I'm sure you will enjoy it.

 Not every one of the Moran-Daugherty-Brafford clan was able to get together yesterday to celebrate the High Holy Day of St Patrick, but we had a small yet enthusiastic showing. John and I left early but I'm sure there was some singing going on later in the day. I can say without bragging that my kids know the words to just about every Irish song that was ever written. I've put my Irish music away for awhile, and I'm pretty sure that John is happy about that. Even though he is a lot more Irish than I am, he only knows the basics when it comes to Irish music.

We've celebrated lots of St. Paddy's Days over the years and I'm sure it's a tradition that will keep on going.

We met at Captain Roys, which I'm sure was just about the most festive place in our city. My daughter, Meghan spent weeks making decorations. There were lots of green paper chains, buntings, lights, and shamrocks. 

I tried to show a really good video, but I guess that is beyond my capabilities. So, use your imagination. It was grand, as they would say in the old country.

Well, the holiday is over now, so I will just leave you with one more Irish thought.

"May you always have walls for the wind.

A roof for the rain.

Tea beside the fire.

Laughter to cheer you,

Those you love near you,

And all that your heart might desire"

The Kindness of Strangers

 I notice a lot of things when watching British mystery tv. Of course everybody drinks a lot of tea. And when the detective interviews someone about a suspect or a victim over a cuppa, the person will almost always say, "I really don't know anything about it. He kept himself to himself." We don't hear that here in the United States, because most people love to talk, especially about themselves and their history. 

I don't usually think of myself as someone who is an oversharer. At least not in person. When it comes to writing, I am much more likely to spill the tea. Does anyone else wonder what that means? Well, I looked it up. I thought it was a new saying, but it has actually been a bit of American slang since the 1980's. It means to tell the truth about something scandalous, dramatic or juicy.

One thing I notice a lot is that people tend to think that no one overhears when they are talking on a cellphone. I am always surprised at the ones who will talk loudly on speakerphone when they are out shopping. Just the other day I felt like I was following a woman at Target because I could hear her conversation from several aisles away. She was telling a friend very intimate details about her divorce and custody hearing and talked the entire time she was in the store.

A few days later I was in the pharmacy, when a man looking at greeting cards shared family stories with a stranger who was also looking at cards. They weren't good stories, and I'm surprised he was actually buying cards for people he disliked so much. Not to be out done, she also had her share of horror stories. Once again, they were very loud, and I could easily hear them from several aisles away.

Now if you are starting to get the idea that I am just a creepy eavesdropper sort of person, I'm really not. Anyway, not most of the time. For the sake of clarity, I will admit that during the time when I was alone and lonely I used to deliberately listen to old married couples in restaurants. More than once I fought off the urge to go to their tables and tell them to be nicer to each other.

There are also people who want to share happy times. There is a cashier I see in another store who tells everyone the story of how his parents met. He enjoys it every time he repeats it, and I try to take the time to listen.

Sometimes it is easier to share things with strangers than with those we know. When I was going through sadness and misery, I remember more than one occasion when I cried with women who were there for me in the very worst moments, but I never saw them again. I will always think of them as my angels and remember the kindness they gave me when I desperately needed it.

It is a good thing to share connections and experiences with other people. Let's just try not to do it loudly and publicly.

A Fish Story

 

Yesterday was John's birthday. He is 82. I don't know if he would want me to tell you that, but after all, this is my blog so I can say whatever I want. For his birthday we decided to get a fish. We have a picture here of Mr. Fish. This is the closest thing we have had for a pet since I have been part of this family.

We spent a lot of time discussing this and wondering if we were ready. Pet ownership, after all, is a big responsibility. I have never had a fish. Several years ago, John had a goldfish who was also named Mr. Fish. He lived several years. He seemed to have a real relationship with Mr. Fish, because there are family stories about how he would tickle Mr. Fish's belly. I guess they were very close.

We talked about the name for our new family member. John wanted Mr. Fish 2. I vetoed that because everyone should have their own name. I am Mrs. Brafford 2 but would really like to be called by my first name. I think our fish would feel the same. We decided on the name Rudolfo.

We also talked about where to put him. John wanted the coffee table. I didn't. My vote was the mantel or maybe the top of the desk. If there was going to be any belly tickling going on, I didn't want it in my direct line of vision.

So as you can see, we did not make this decision lightly. We googled and read reviews and picked a local store that sounded promising. When we got there, the building was open, but no one was there. When we went back to our car we noticed some activity next door, so we went inside. We discovered that the owner was in the middle of downsizing and wouldn't really have anything available for a few weeks. We were disappointed because we really wanted to buy local. We googled again and decided to try a big box pet store on the other side of town. This was like a pet supermarket. They had everything pet related we could think of. Everything, that is, except fishbowls!

Did you know that fishbowls are considered inhumane? I didn't. I thought that a fish would happily live in a fishbowl. Not true. Modern fish need fish tanks. And if they are goldfish then they need very big fish tanks. After hearing how terrible we were for wanting a goldfish bowl we decided to try again. The next store didn't have very good reviews but we thought we would give it a try. The reviews were right. The building was very old and dirty, but the owner was very knowledgeable about fish. Once again we heard how no one has a fishbowl anymore and that we really needed a big ugly tank. I was holding a small one that I thought might be a possibility when there was a sudden movement by our feet. I screamed and jumped as a mouse ran by, barely missing my shoe. The owner said, very nonchalantly, that he usually catches about four a day. I didn't drop the tank, which was a good thing. But by this time we decided we weren't ready to be fish parents yet.

We changed to his alternate birthday gift which was a sports jacket. We drove back across town to the big mall. We hadn't been there since John bought a suit for our wedding. He still gets online ads  from the store at least once a week. When we got there we couldn't find the store. Finally we learned that it closed a few years ago! So we tried another store and he found a perfect fit. Then we looked at the price tag, and it was over seven times our budget! That is why I never shop at the big mall!!!

One more time, across town again. He found the right jacket at the right price, and everyone was happy. We ended the day with a nice birthday dinner with family. The only problem there was a nice gift card for a movie theatre which no longer accepts them. There aren't any AMC theatres in our area anymore. Who knew? Obviously, not us.

I do hope this doesn't indicate how our year is going to be. At least my birthday is several months away.

I've always been a bit political. When I was a senior in high school, I was a Senate page in our Iowa legislature. It was a wonderful experience, and I happily missed my last school semester to be able to work at our state capitol. Our session (1967!!) was the longest one and didn't adjourn until July.  We sat on a bench and answered a bell when a senator wanted something. This ranged from taking messages to the governor and other offices, to picking up bills from the library, to getting a candy bar from the lunch room. We each had a shift in the phone room, and took phone messages to them. There was a row of phone booths where they answered their calls. This room was also where all the lobbyists hung out. There was a lot of "wheelin' and dealin' " back then, I think. We also learned a lot about the way the government worked and had weekly sessions where we went over the bills and discussed them.

Of course, there was a lot of fun too. I probably knew about all the nooks and crannies, attics, and secret tunnels in the Capitol building. It was a very innocent time, with no scandals going on that I ever knew about.

In the photo above, I am the shortest one, and I still have the same hairstyle today!

In 2010 I worked at the Legislature again. This time I was one of the telephone operators for the House. Our main job was to transfer phone calls to each of their phones. I think most of the calls went to voice mail and then it was their job to return them. We were in a separate room so I didn't get to see most of the proceedings. We did get to listen to some of the meeting though. I learned a lot about how state governments work. There is so much pressure put on the representatives and senators to vote with the party. There is much more pressure in Congress. They need to be reminded that they are the voice of the people who elected them.

I saved all the daily calendars and papers and put them into a junk journal with photos. It was an interesting way to remember moments of the session. This one was one of the shortest ones and ended after three months.

Over the years I have gone to a few political rallies and protests, but probably not as many as I should. I have so much admiration for the citizens in Minnesota right now. And even more fear. I am afraid for them, and for the immigrants, and for our country. I am afraid for the relationships and friendships that may be damaged beyond repair. I urge everyone to call their legislators and let them know what you think. They document those calls even if you don't speak to them directly.

You are allowed to say, at any point, I can't support this. Even if you did. Even if you were unsure. You can at any point say "this has gone too far." And while the best time to say that was earlier, second best time is now.

(I don't know who said this first. I have seen it several times on the internet. If you know, tell me and I will credit it.)

A LITTLE BIT OF THIS, A LITTLE BIT OF THAT

I am still recovering from my bout of shingles, so the brain fog continues. Last Friday I handed someone a tape measure when she asked for a camera, and I am blaming that on the medications.  It's been a mixture of good days and days of napping. And that's all I have to say about that.

January is one of my main months of making plans and getting myself organized in my house and in my head. I usually start out with at least a few resolutions and always try to pick a "word of the year". I really haven't thought about it much this month, but here is what I came up with:

  1. Lose weight. My husband has lost more than 30 pounds this year just by deciding he would. I have lost the same 4 pounds about 30 times.

  2. Exercise more. That should be easy, since I have hardly moved at all so far in 2026.

   3. Find the lost things that keep wandering about and that I keep wondering about.

4.  Spend some more time working on my writing. I really want to have a book of essays.

   5. Finally, get all of Christmas put away and organized into the correct boxes. 

I think that might be a To Do List and not resolutions!

Next is my Word of the Year. This year it is a phrase: "Creative Forager".

There is a reason. I want to spend more time creating and I really mean to look through and use so many of my supplies without buying a lot of new things. I really want to let the things go that I don't need.

It's that time of year.  And I may be just a little bit late!

MORE THAN YOU PROBABLY WANT TO KNOW

For the first time in months, I have missed my self-imposed Wednesday deadline. I admit to being slightly discombobulated lately and it looks like it won't be going away very soon! 

Years ago we had the summer of chickenpox. My youngest daughter was exposed during the last few days of preschool. We began the summer with spots and calamine lotion and continued until it was time to go back to school. One by one, each of my five children started to itch. The oldest was eleven and the youngest was a baby. Each one waited out almost the full incubation period of twenty one days before they got it. That's how we made it last all summer. That was a summer I will never forget. I don't remember when I had chicken pox, but I know I was very young. 

In order to get shingles, a person must have had chicken pox at some time in their lives. The chicken pox vaccine will not completely eliminate the chance of shingles in the future, but the case will be much, much lighter.

 There is also a vaccine available for shingles and I think everyone should get it. I did, last summer. There are two doses and I got them both. Unfortunately, the virus is only 91% effective. This means that 9 % of us will win (or lose) the Shingles lottery. And yes, I am one of the (un)lucky ones.

I started to feel bad a few days before Christmas and thought I had pulled a muscle at my exercise class. It kept getting worse and soon my right side had a burning pain all the time, and intermittent stabbing with invisible shards of broken glass. I was waiting for the terrible rash I had heard about, but it didn't come.  When I was able to see the doctor I discovered that I had internal shingles (What?!?) and probably wouldn't even get a rash. No rash, but the internal variety might as well be called eternal, because it lasts longer. So far I have had 2 visits, several phone calls and taken 72 pills. I just got a refill for 6 a day for however many weeks or even months it takes to calm my nerve endings. Hopefully, this will help me to sleep. However, a side effect is brain fog. More than I usually have, so that should be interesting!

I just want to add that these poor little waifs are not my children, and the 7 on the calendar looks suspiciously like a 2. I created these images with AI. Obviously, I am still a beginner.

Another New Year...What Will It Bring?

I keep this card in a frame where I can see it everyday. It reminds me of all the things I want. Wishes and Magic and Dreams and Good Madness. Books and Kisses and Surprises!

This holiday season did not turn out the way I planned. I spent most of it being sick. Our family Christmases were after the main event so I had marked off that last week to finish shopping, and wrapping, and making everything Christmasy. I started to make several gifts this year, and they were all in the finishing stages too. And I felt so awful I didn't even care (not too much, anyway). So I would really like a do-over. I did get to see everyone. I was not contagious. And of course, one side of the family forgot to take pictures. I'm not sure why that happens, but we hardly ever get a group photo. Next time.

 

It is New Year's Eve now that I write this and I don't think I will be awake to see the new year arrive. I haven't written any resolutions or even chosen my word of the year yet. I often try to do a card reading on December 31st, but that will have to wait too. I am on the mend, so I will soon be feeling like myself again, but not yet. Hoping you are all celebrating and that 2026 will be the year we all all hoping for, filled with love, happiness, and good magic. Happiest of New Years to us all.

 When John and I combined households six years ago, we realized right away that we had more things than we had room to keep. I had already downsized several times, but I don't think he and his first wife had ever let anything go. We realized right away that many, many items needed to move on to family, or friends, thrift shop donations, the end of the driveway, or the dumpster. I rented a small booth at a local antique mall and started pricing our "treasures". My booth has never had a theme or been truly staged. But now, finally, I am running low on inventory. Except for some handcrafted items that I've made, (and a few storage pieces) I have never bought something just to put in the booth. My dilemma is this--is it time to get serious and put more money and personality into this space or is it time to let it go?

 

I'm really not much of a shopper. I lose interest pretty quickly in department stores. Clothes shopping doesn't excite me at all.  I do love to look at everything in big box stores. I want to see all the books, the toys, the holiday decorations and the housewares. I enjoy craft and fabric stores even though there are getting to be fewer and fewer of them. Cute little boutiques and garage sales make me nervous because I always feel obligated to buy something even if I don't want anything. But thrift stores are different.

 

 I am afraid that I may have been bitten by the dangerous insect called the "Thrift Store Bug". Twice a week I attend a Pilates class unless I talk myself out of it. I have just discovered that there are at least six thrift stores between my class and my home. My initial plan was to buy items to resell at a profit. So, I have been cruising the aisles the past few days. I found a vintage nativity set from Italy. FOR ME. Two old tin containers jumped into my cart. FOR ME. A tiny suitcase FOR ME. Three white baby dresses FOR ME. I may have to rethink this plan.

Wedded Bliss

 

October 12 will be our sixth wedding anniversary. It's hard to believe that we have been married that long. I still think of us as newlyweds. Crazy young kids. Even though at our age, we should be counting every year as ten. That would make this our sixtieth. How time flies. We've decided to take a few days and celebrate in Galena, since it's such a cute little town and only a few hours away. We spent our original honeymoon in Laramie, even though that wasn't our plan. Our car (practically new) broke down, and so we spent most of our time either driving or being stranded or waiting around in dealerships. It wasn't the best way to start a marriage but we managed to survive it. Our trip was cut short, and we drove our loaner car home and returned in mid-December when ours was finally fixed. This was my first hint that John isn't a great traveler. One of my favorite places in Laramie was a bookstore called "The Second Story". It was upstairs in a building originally used as a brothel back in the wild, wild west. There were lots of little rooms.

The name may just sound familiar since it is what I call my writings. It seemed very fitting since this is the second story of our lives. It was also the name that I gave to my little she-shed cottage. Sadly, I had to leave it when we moved. My cottage and the front porch are the only things I really miss about our first house.

I have a very nice book of wedding photographs, but since it is the middle of the night and I should be packing for tomorrow I don't have much to show. 

Getting married for a second time is very different than the first. Jim and I were very young even though we didn't think so at the time. We were both barely nineteen. Keeping a home and a marriage were both very new to us and we learned together. We were married for almost forty-three years. After that I was on my own for nine years. I became very independent with my time and money. I got used to never telling anyone where I was going or when I would be back. I hadn't dated anyone until I started seeing John. I think we were both surprised that we fit so well together. And we were also surprised that we could love someone again. Every day I am grateful that he came into my life.

Usually, I don't spend a lot of time thinking about what I want to write. I just write from my heart. (I hear that a lot on cooking shows. "Just measure from your heart". It makes me laugh.) This time I really spent some time thinking about it. I asked John what he felt was different about a second marriage and what changes he had to make. He couldn't come up with a single thing. Of course, I had a very long list. Most of them are minor and not very important, but they were still changes in my life. When a person has lived many years as an adult, she becomes accustomed to doing things a certain particular way. And then she marries someone who is also used to doing things his own way. Most of these are not very important at all. They are just things I've noticed along the way. 

When we got married in 2019 I moved into the house where John had been happily living for over thirty years. It was a nice place but it never felt like mine. I always said he had the home court advantage because he had lived there so long. Two years ago, we moved to our house. It's the right home for us.

Here are some of the things that we never really think about because we have always done them our own way. One person has to change. I'm pretty sure it is usually the woman.

How do you make the bed?

What brand names do you buy?

How do you cook certain foods?

Are you a cuddler or do you like to sew and work on craft projects while you watch tv?

What kind of tv shows do you watch?

Do you like to be early or are you always late?

Do you stock up or wait until you are almost out of whatever?

What are your politics?

How do you put the toilet paper roll on the holder?

Which side of the bed do you sleep on?

Do you like to read yourself to sleep?

Do you go to bed early or late?

I'm not saying these are problems! We just don't usually think about why we do things the way that we do. It is hard to change after so many years of being a certain way. And so, we have our own bathrooms and never talk about politics. I am very happy with my Second Story. And I am wishing for many more anniversaries together.

And So It Begins

 

Today I started decorating for fall. This is early for me. I usually put summer away and take some time before I begin with Halloween after the first of October. I am planning to entertain a group of friends on the first, so I am starting now. It's a slow start. We are still expecting some temperatures in the 90's this week, so I don't feel autumn crispness. 

It was my turn to host the same ladies in February, but we had to cancel three times because of weather and illness. By the third time I was so done with it. I was over prepared and under inspired. I had gone through all my Valentine decorating, on to St. Paddy's and finished up with Easter. I don't usually decorate a lot for all the holidays. I do like to have some handmade and vintage items for the major ones. And I like to reuse and repurpose my old decorations. Earlier today this wreath was still on the door for summer. I started adding to it, and with a little ribbon it was transformed. I may add a few more things to it as I unpack the Halloween boxes.

My favorite items for decorating are garlands, buntings and banners. They are very English and I really enjoy finding and making them. I have more of them now than I have available spaces. I guess that is why this one hangs on the shower curtain!

My least favorite thing is that I will be wearing glitter for the next few months. No matter how careful I try to be, I somehow manage to sparkle at this time of year.

I don't really entertain much anymore. When I do, I tend to get into a panic about it. I've never been a person that can be ready for drop in visitors. Instead, I make lists and worry, and wish I'd bought new rugs, and had enough chairs and dishes for everyone. I have downsized so much in the past few years that now I have to buy or borrow household items when I need them once or twice a year. Luckily, I know people.

 I had an acquaintance once who spontaneously invited me to visit and showed off her laundry room. It was more decorated than any room in my house and looked just like a magazine layout. We never really became friends. I don't think that's the reason why, but it may have been.

I went to Hobby Lobby today. It's not a store that I visit often, but sometimes there just isn't anywhere else to go for emergency craft supplies. For me, most of it is overwhelming. There are too many choices, and much of it isn't a style I like. And they choose not to carry anything Halloween anymore! I miss the old fabric stores.

I've written before on my thoughts on Ease, Elegance, and Economy. To these I would add Comfort. I have a house where I seem to live in every room. I do like some cuteness in a laundry room, but not so much that it isn't functional. My newest favorite saying is from a tv show: " I was made for comfort, not for speed." (Vernon Scripps, not a role model, but I do like that quote)

MIDNIGHT MUSINGS

 

Happy September. This is the first of the autumn months that rhyme with Remember. For many of us, it is a favorite month, and also a month of contrasts. Some of my happiest memories are in Septembers, and also some of my worst.  Tonight, I have been going a little wonky looking for a specific computer file and bringing up just about every memory I have kept for the last many, many years. My trips down memory lane are always a little on the melancholy side. I don't really like to relive old memories and peruse forgotten photos. I know that isn't a popular thing to say, and I feel guilty for even thinking it, but it makes me feel sad. I have a wonderful life and I try to enjoy every minute of it, but when I look back, I always go into "woulda, coulda, shoulda" mode. I think I feel like everything goes too quickly. When I look at old pictures or read essays I wrote years ago, I wonder where the time went, and why I didn't get more done. I need to make a September resolution to count the things I've accomplished, and not just the projects and ideas that fizzled.  

I have accomplished one big (for me) thing so far this month. My recent blog post about my old house is in a new local newspaper called "The Highland Scribe". It is published monthly, and 5,000 copies are delivered to businesses on the north side of the city. It has space for ads, and articles about local businesses, but also asks for creative contributions. My goal is to have articles published more frequently and in other venues. This was something that I wanted to do in the past, but never followed through with it. I am particularly excited that my blog address is included.

And I admit that I am tickled to be called Local Author!

Mystery of the Poppy Plates

We have lived here for nearly two years. One would think that everything would be in its' place by now, but that wouldn't be true. Since I don't want to have every wall covered, many of them are still a little too bare. That isn't the way of the sun room, since it is mostly windows. There are very few walls, so I must be selective. 

I have always liked this picture, so I was happy to find a place where it fit. It's a print of an oil painting by a self taught German painter named Max Streckenbach (1865-1936) who specialized in floral still lifes. This one is called "Poppies in Vase". He painted another one that looks like the same poppies. That one is named "Poppies in Bloom". Since I didn't want my picture to feel lonely, I wanted to add a few other items I've acquired along the way, specifically two hand painted plates and a few postcards. Since I didn't have a place for them, I put them away for later. I will repeat that. I put them away for later.

Eventually, I bought a vintage shelf that John hung on the other side of the doorway. I went to get the plates because I thought I knew exactly where I had stored them. And they were not there. So the search began. I looked in all the drawers and spaces that I thought they could be. Every little box and basket around the house... The two shelves in the front hall closet... The linen closet... The laundry room cupboards...The extra boxes in the sewing room... The office closet... Then I went to the basement. I tried the storage room. And then I looked through the holiday boxes in the furnace room. I have to admit that I was on a mission, and not about to be defeated.

Finally, today I found them. For some reason, I hadn't opened the little desk right below the picture. I did open the drawer, but not the desk. I had set them in two of the little cubbies because it was the most logical place. Now they are finally on the little green shelf across the wall. And I am happy to report that I did not have to purchase more old poppy plates from the local antique mall. In desperation, I had started to look.

Unfortunately, during my poppy plate quest, I didn't find any of the other items that are still missing. I have a complete tea set, with cups and saucers for four. Somewhere. I hope to find it before next March, since it is decorated with shamrocks. I have some more framed pictures. There are various craft supplies. I know I have another antique quilt. Somewhere. There was a long hunt for my trifle bowl. I finally found two. I won't even mention the books that have gone awol. 

I blame all this on moving so many times in the past several years. A couple of moves ago, I finally started a little notebook titled "Oh, Wherever Can It Be?" I try to list all the cupboards and drawers and boxes where I might have put things. It isn't always up to date but it really helps me (sometimes) when I'm looking for something. I hadn't listed the poppy plates. That would have saved a lot of time. Live and Learn.

 OUR STATE FAIR IS A GREAT STATE FAIR

 The Iowa State Fair is one of biggest and earliest fairs around. Many people will tell you that it is the best. It was established in 1854 in Fairfield Iowa. The fair was moved to its' current location in the capital city of Des Moines in 1886. 

It is perhaps most known because of a book written in 1932. The book, State Fair, became a best seller for the author, Phil Stong. He was an Iowan from Keosauqua. His book was first made into a movie in 1933, into a musical in 1945 and 1962 and a made for tv movie in 1976. The story was about a farm family who visited the Fair in the big city. They were full of hopes and dreams and the two teenagers were looking for romance. The book didn't end as happily as the movie. The parents did win some blue ribbons, even though their children ended the visit with broken hearts. I read that the book was banned in the hometown library for twenty five years because the teenage characters were considered to be too immoral to be Iowans.

Our own experiences at the fair are much tamer. John's family have been venders since1948 when his grandmother started selling lemonade. He retired in 2021, and two of his sons have taken over the business. Now that the young grandchildren are learning, they have five generations that have been involved with the Brafford concession stands. They currently have four stands and are best known for their lemonade shake-ups. They also sell hot dogs, tots, nachos, tacos and burritos and more.

Here is John with his three boys, and another little snapshot with the Pope. You can see just about anyone at the Fair.

John has gone to the Fair every year that he remembers. He's been working since he was old enough to shake a lemonade. Even though it only lasts eleven days, it's on the Brafford Boy's minds all year long. John's retired now, but he can't stay away.

A lot of my early family experiences revolve around the race track that used to be part of the fairgrounds. My dad was a stock car driver and later a race promoter. I went to my first race as a baby in a wicker basket.

My brother also had an interesting history with the Fair. In 1990, he drove a semi truck and jumped it over eight cars. It was called "The Great American Truck Jump" and was filmed at the Fair for the Guiness Book of Records. He performed this all over the country.  I guess my family had its' own version of the Shake-Up.  

My own experiences are quite different. Many years I didn't go at all. And I didn't really miss it. It was a big relief when I finally realized that I didn't have to go on the scary rides just because my friends did. The craziest thing I ever did at the Fair was perform with a belly dance troupe, the Rainbows of the Desert. That was quite a while ago, and there are no pictures. Now I like to see the quilts and needlework and especially the dollhouses. Other than that, I am just fine with people watching.

EASE, ELEGANCE, and ECONOMY

 

I am a big fan of Jane Austen. Even more than her books, I like her letters. Even though she was born two hundred and fifty years ago, she said a lot in her novels of contemporary nineteenth century life that still make sense today.

She wrote a letter to her sister, Cassandra, in July of 1808 that contained this passage: "In the meantime for Elegance and Ease, and Luxury...I shall eat ice and drink French wine, and be above Vulgar Economy." Jane did like a good vacation.

Many years later I read these familiar words again in another book that I happened to find. This one was printed in  1971, and was one of my favorites when I was a young wife: 

It's out of print now but used copies can still be ordered through book stores. I liked it because it was funny, yet filled with charts and schedules. I remember she said that the only thing she really liked about housekeeping was arranging red roses in crystal vases. 

The words I remember most were her opinions on ease, elegance, and economy. Basically, she said that you can never have all three at the same time. You can always have two of them, but never all. And it changes. If you want to buy something, make something, entertain someone, or just do something wild and crazy for yourself, then one of these will have to be excluded.

It's possible to plan a party with ease and elegance, but not with economy, because you will have to spend more money. You can have an elegant, economical party, but it won't be easy, because you will be doing most of the work yourself. Or you can just throw something together and make it easy and economical, but you'll be missing all those fine touches that make it elegant!

I'm not sure why this has stuck with me for fifty years, but it applies to just about every situation. I'm not sure what happened to my copy of the book, but it is worth reading more than once. I remember making some pretty elaborate schedules when my kids were small. 

Another housekeeping book I liked was this one:

For quite a while I kept my whole life on index cards. The authors' motto was "We change lives with 3 x 5's. They were two sisters, Pam and Peggy, and were hilarious. They had a tv show for a while, and I always tried to watch it. They were even keynote speakers at a convention I went to, and let me be their assistant, because I wrote them a really schmaltzy fan letter. They wrote back to me. I probably still have it somewhere. I finally got rid of all their newsletters, and instantly regretted it.

Another homemaker author I enjoyed was Peg Bracken and her "I Hate to Cook" book and "I Hate to Housekeep" book. As people can probably tell, I am drawn to the funny and the ridiculous advice books, as long as they teach me something I want to learn.

And, then, of course there is Martha Stewart, who tried to make us think that we could have the Three E's, although I never feel that economy is involved. One year I wanted to use one of her Christmas ideas, but I realized that just the ribbon would cost my entire budget. And Martha isn't funny. Impressive, but not funny.

Today, I still enjoy all the housekeeping and decorating tips, but am becoming addicted to YouTube videos. Everyone I see has a perfect life. Recently, I've been watching several of the videos called "Wise Elders Insights." They are filled with good advice for our twilight years, but not with a lot of humor. They are narrated with a very soothing voice that makes me feel like I must have known Jane Austen personally.  (I might be a little touchy since I just had a birthday!) I'm still hunting for the perfect clean your house, organize your day, be clever, and enjoy your life and laugh whenever you can information. I know it must be out there.

Seventy Six

 

I celebrated another birthday yesterday. I received this cute little red velvet cake in the mail. It is cake for one (but I will share) and even came with a candle. It was a good day but on the quiet side. I did a little shopping and went to the thrift stores everyone seems to love lately. We were going to go out, but both decided to order a pizza instead.

I am really a pretty quiet person. I like to stay home. I can go days and days without leaving my house. Last week I had to be social four days in a row. I went to a funeral, a family reunion, a birthday dinner, and a long lunch with friends. That might not sound like a lot, but it was. Except for my cousin's funeral, they were all enjoyable occasions, but still wearing. Does this mean I am old? As a friend says, anything over seventy-five is almost eighty. And I am getting a lot more Facebook ads for wrinkle cream.

It really doesn't seem like almost a year since I wrote "Seventy five at Seventy Five." I just read it again, and I hope you will too. Parts of it make me feel pretty profound.

76. Make sure to actually do more of the things on my list this year.