LOVECHARMS AND POTIONS

 Today I have a few of my favorite things to share. They are gypsies, flowers, love charms, and tea. If you take the time to look at old cards and other ephemera, you will notice that these items appear often. What could be better for Valentine's week?

There are lots of superstitions and charms about love. Maybe we can try a few. Here's a card trick for you. Draw all the face cards from a deck of cards, put them in a stocking on Friday night and place the stocking under your pillow. When the sun rises on Saturday morning (Valentine's Day!) draw a card. If it's a King it means a speedy marriage. A Queen will mean no marriage at all. And a Jack is a seducer who will surely give you trouble. Diamonds are riches. Hearts mean true love, Spades are thrift, and clubs are for poverty. This is from Fontaine's Golden Wheel Fortune and Dream Book, which was published in 1862. I'm not sure the odds are very good for this one, but you take your chances. 

There are many counting rhymes. Some use cards or flowers or birds. Most of us have pulled petals off a daisy while saying "He loves me, He loves me not." Haven't we? We can get a little more dramatic with this:

He loves me.

He don't.

He'll have me.

He won't.

He would if he could, but he can't.

How about this one?

1-I love

2-I love

3-I love, I say

4-I love with all my heart

5-I cast away

6-He loves

7-She loves

8-They both love

9-He comes

10-He tarries

11-He courts

12-He marries

There are more, but you get the idea.

Many of the old sayings and charms involved flowers, birds, herbs and dreams. 

If you keep a dried stalk of yarrow, it will bring you seven years of married bliss. Nine stems will bring lasting love. If a man takes a sprig of basil from the hands of a woman he will love her forever. But, never cut parsley or you will have bad luck in love. You don't want to take that chance, so pinch it off when you need a little garnish.

If you want to make a wish, write it on a sage leaf and put it under your pillow. Sleep on it for three nights. If you dream of what you desire, then you will get it. If you don't then bury the sage.

This also works if you place lavender under your pillow. Think of your wish. You only get one chance for this one.

And finally, on the night before Valentine's Day pin five bay leaves to your pillow. Wear a freshly washed night gown and say:

Good valentine, be kind to me

In dreams let me my true love see.

And John, just to let you know, you're my cup of tea!

A Fish Story

 

Yesterday was John's birthday. He is 82. I don't know if he would want me to tell you that, but after all, this is my blog so I can say whatever I want. For his birthday we decided to get a fish. We have a picture here of Mr. Fish. This is the closest thing we have had for a pet since I have been part of this family.

We spent a lot of time discussing this and wondering if we were ready. Pet ownership, after all, is a big responsibility. I have never had a fish. Several years ago, John had a goldfish who was also named Mr. Fish. He lived several years. He seemed to have a real relationship with Mr. Fish, because there are family stories about how he would tickle Mr. Fish's belly. I guess they were very close.

We talked about the name for our new family member. John wanted Mr. Fish 2. I vetoed that because everyone should have their own name. I am Mrs. Brafford 2 but would really like to be called by my first name. I think our fish would feel the same. We decided on the name Rudolfo.

We also talked about where to put him. John wanted the coffee table. I didn't. My vote was the mantel or maybe the top of the desk. If there was going to be any belly tickling going on, I didn't want it in my direct line of vision.

So as you can see, we did not make this decision lightly. We googled and read reviews and picked a local store that sounded promising. When we got there, the building was open, but no one was there. When we went back to our car we noticed some activity next door, so we went inside. We discovered that the owner was in the middle of downsizing and wouldn't really have anything available for a few weeks. We were disappointed because we really wanted to buy local. We googled again and decided to try a big box pet store on the other side of town. This was like a pet supermarket. They had everything pet related we could think of. Everything, that is, except fishbowls!

Did you know that fishbowls are considered inhumane? I didn't. I thought that a fish would happily live in a fishbowl. Not true. Modern fish need fish tanks. And if they are goldfish then they need very big fish tanks. After hearing how terrible we were for wanting a goldfish bowl we decided to try again. The next store didn't have very good reviews but we thought we would give it a try. The reviews were right. The building was very old and dirty, but the owner was very knowledgeable about fish. Once again we heard how no one has a fishbowl anymore and that we really needed a big ugly tank. I was holding a small one that I thought might be a possibility when there was a sudden movement by our feet. I screamed and jumped as a mouse ran by, barely missing my shoe. The owner said, very nonchalantly, that he usually catches about four a day. I didn't drop the tank, which was a good thing. But by this time we decided we weren't ready to be fish parents yet.

We changed to his alternate birthday gift which was a sports jacket. We drove back across town to the big mall. We hadn't been there since John bought a suit for our wedding. He still gets online ads  from the store at least once a week. When we got there we couldn't find the store. Finally we learned that it closed a few years ago! So we tried another store and he found a perfect fit. Then we looked at the price tag, and it was over seven times our budget! That is why I never shop at the big mall!!!

One more time, across town again. He found the right jacket at the right price, and everyone was happy. We ended the day with a nice birthday dinner with family. The only problem there was a nice gift card for a movie theatre which no longer accepts them. There aren't any AMC theatres in our area anymore. Who knew? Obviously, not us.

I do hope this doesn't indicate how our year is going to be. At least my birthday is several months away.

BE MINE, VALENTINE

Christmas is over, but before the merchandise was even put away, the aisles in stores were filled with items for Valentines Day. I'm not sure who wants to buy cards and toys and chocolates and flowers early in January, but they have certainly been available.  

I've barely gotten things packed up this new year, so my heart and valentine collections aren't out yet. I am hoping that next week will all be back to normal. I do love hearts. I am not so crazy about pink except at this time of year. And I love the sentimental. I only want to see the pretty ones. 

Many of us remember decorating shoe boxes and collecting valentines at school. When I was in primary school I don't think there was a rule about giving valentines to everyone. So it was really a kind of popularity contest. I think I usually fell somewhere in between low and middle. I'm pretty sure everyone gets a valentine now. I don't know if they decorate boxes anymore.

There was a time when "Penny Dreadfuls" were popular. These were just what they sound like! They were also known as "Vinegar Valentines". They were cheap cards with impolite verses. A typical card might tell someone why she was destined to be an old maid. These were often sent anonymously and were popular from the 1830's up until the early twentieth century. There aren't as many of them around because the recipients often threw them away. I probably would have.

There really was a St Valentine. In fact, there was more than one. And there were lots of stories. He (or they) was martyred in the 3rd century. His feast day was on February 14 which coincided with the Roman festival of Lupercalia, which was one of those wild festivals that the early Church wanted to make disappear. He became the patron of love, romance, and marriage, instead of the popular Roman fertility celebrations.

Throughout the next several centuries, letters and poems were written to and by lovers and became known as valentines. 

There are many stories about them, but my favorite is about Esther Howland, known as the "Mother of the American Valentine". Esther belonged to a wealthy family in Massachusetts. Her father very successfully sold stationery and paper products. After Esther graduated from  Mount Holyoke Female Seminary in 1847, she received an elaborate English valentine from one of her father's business associates. As many of us are apt to do she said, " I can make that.". And she did. After ordering some paper lace and ribbons and stickers, she made 10 prototypes. Her brother took them and showed them to clients when he was getting orders. He came home with $5000.00 worth of orders and that began her business. She recruited her friends and they set up an assembly line on the third floor of the family home and began cutting and pasting. Her business just kept growing. She also had a cottage industry and dropped off supplies to women in the area and then would pick up the finished cards in a week. She operated her business for several years and sold it in 1881. She never married, even though she was surrounded by romance and lace.

Valentines have varied from plain to fancy. Esther's were known for paper hinges that made the lace stand out and little compartments and envelopes to hold a romantic token. The words were always on the inside rather than the front.

As time progressed there were fewer elaborate cards and more postcards. Don't forget to buy your Valentines before it is too late. After all, they've been in the stores for almost a month!