Tiptoe Through The Tulips

My husband John always likes to be early for things. I think we've had to make a few adjustments since I like to be right on time but have a tendency to be late. Now I ask him what time he wants to leave. He tells me, and I think he is learning not to expect me to be ready to go until that very exact time. For quite a while after we got married he would suddenly announce that he was "ready to go" with no advance warning whenever we had to be somewhere. We finally discussed it and I found out that he thought he was making a joke. It was a line from some television show that I had hardly heard of and never watched. So he wasn't really trying to irritate the heck out of me. He thought he was being funny. I thought this marriage might end before it even really got started.

I tell you this story to explain why we are at The Tulip Festival more than a week before it even begins. 

Pella is a quaint little village about 45 miles from Iowa's capital city. It is a great place to go for a day trip or even a couple of days any time of the year. Cute shops, good restaurants, a town square and, and museums make it a good place to visit at any time.

There are probably tulip celebrations in many little towns with a Dutch heritage, but I'm pretty sure that the one in Pella, Iowa is one of the best.

We visited eight days before the official start time. There were quite a few people around, but nothing like it will be next week. I think we started going early because one year we couldn't find a place to park without walking too many blocks. And I really don't like big crowds.

It takes a lot of planning to make something like this happen. This is the ninety-first year for the festival. The Parks Department and volunteers are responsible for planting over 120,000 tulips bulbs every fall. There are at least seventy different varieties. A sample of each is planted in the Avenue of Tulips, so visitors can see them all at one time. This year our spring weather started too soon, so some of the flowers have already peaked, but there are still many to see. I remember one other time when some of the flowers bloomed too early. There were rumors that more tulips were brought in to fill any gaps. After tulip time ends, the bulbs are dug up every single year. People are allowed to collect them. I hear that is a really crazy time. They do this so that there is a different variety every year. I hear that tulip blooms are the prettiest the first year. After the blooms are gone, annual flowers are planted. We don't have any tulips yet at our house, but want to get some this fall.

I felt a little under the weather today, and was even more bedraggled than a few of the tulips, so we didn't stay long. 

There is always a lot to see, during Tulip Time and beyond, so you can visit the website and also pick up one of the free magazines which gives a lot of information.

Fun Facts: The boyhood home of Wyatt Earp (Brave, Courageous, and Bold!) is in the Pella Historical Village.

Don't forget the Klokkenspel. It was made especially for Pella and is part of the large town clock. The musical bells and mechanical wooden figures "perform" several times a day.

The windmill is also very picturesque. It is one of the tallest working windmills in North America. I have never been inside, but tours are available which include all five floors.

The Opera House is definitely worth visiting. And the canal is very pretty. There are parades and street sweeping twice a day. The costumes are very authentic. The Tulip Queen and her Court make a big appearance.

There are many, many things to see and do in Pella all year long. If you can make the trip, I'm sure you will enjoy it.

GALENA: A LITTLE TOWN WITH A BIG STORY

We enjoyed our little trip to Galena, Illinois last week. It was the second time that we've been there together. The weather was beautiful, even though most of the leaves hadn't changed yet. It is a very hilly and wooded area, so it will be beautiful in another week or so. Galena is a river town, built along the Mississippi. There are a few old mansions open to tour, including the home of former President, Ulysses S. Grant. The oldest house in Galena was built as a trading post in 1826. There is also a very long main street with many shops and restaurants. We spent a lot of our time walking around seeing the shops and sampling the restaurants. We had been to some of the houses on a past trip, so we didn't go this time. I can always visit the stores more than once!

One night we had dinner at VinnyVannucchi's which is up a steep stone street. Once we got there, they only had one table open and it was on the third floor. I truly felt like I was back in Italy with all the walking! There were several Italian restaurants. I looked in some of the windows and a lot of them reminded me of the wonderful places that my friend Kris and I went to exactly a year ago. 

We stayed at the Irish Cottage which is a very nice place just a few minutes from the town. It isn't an old building though it has a wonderful ambience. The connecting pub was actually furnished with fixtures from Ireland. The bar has a snug at each end. I watch a lot of British tv, and people always seem to be going to the snug for private meetings and conversations. Each one is a small room with a window connected directly to the bar. We sat in the Victorian snug one night and drank Irish drinks and listened to the band. It was lovely.

I liked the other Snug too. It was a little smaller, but naturally I would like to have the cupboards and drawers. I will always miss my little she-shed cottage, but maybe I should have a snug.

On the wall by the stage is a quote from the poet Arthur Shaughnessy. His poem "Ode" was written in 1875.

Another of my favorite places was the library with names of Irish authors above the shelves. I did spend some pleasant hours there.

The guests were friendly, and we enjoyed talking with some of the other travelers. I do admit to being an eavesdropper and peoplewatcher. This was a habit I developed when I spent so many years eating alone. I would always look at other diners, imagine their lives and listen to their conversations. One of the funniest things we heard was at breakfast our first morning. A woman walked by an older gentleman who was innocently enjoying his meal and asked him if she could rub his bald head. She commented that it was very shiny and then asked him if he used a moisturizer on it. I warned John that he had better keep his hat on. We didn't see her again. There was another woman at breakfast with a gravity defying bun on the top of her head. We saw her several times in the shops and it barely moved. I was in the buffet line with her friend who told me all the reasons why she couldn't eat eggs. They were part of a "girls trip" who all had matching tee shirts. You see a lot of those in Galena. It's a fun place to go and I recommend it. We had a really nice time. John and I are very good at short trips, but we have really become homebodies in our golden years. I'm looking forward to many more anniversaries for us.

Wedded Bliss

 

October 12 will be our sixth wedding anniversary. It's hard to believe that we have been married that long. I still think of us as newlyweds. Crazy young kids. Even though at our age, we should be counting every year as ten. That would make this our sixtieth. How time flies. We've decided to take a few days and celebrate in Galena, since it's such a cute little town and only a few hours away. We spent our original honeymoon in Laramie, even though that wasn't our plan. Our car (practically new) broke down, and so we spent most of our time either driving or being stranded or waiting around in dealerships. It wasn't the best way to start a marriage but we managed to survive it. Our trip was cut short, and we drove our loaner car home and returned in mid-December when ours was finally fixed. This was my first hint that John isn't a great traveler. One of my favorite places in Laramie was a bookstore called "The Second Story". It was upstairs in a building originally used as a brothel back in the wild, wild west. There were lots of little rooms.

The name may just sound familiar since it is what I call my writings. It seemed very fitting since this is the second story of our lives. It was also the name that I gave to my little she-shed cottage. Sadly, I had to leave it when we moved. My cottage and the front porch are the only things I really miss about our first house.

I have a very nice book of wedding photographs, but since it is the middle of the night and I should be packing for tomorrow I don't have much to show. 

Getting married for a second time is very different than the first. Jim and I were very young even though we didn't think so at the time. We were both barely nineteen. Keeping a home and a marriage were both very new to us and we learned together. We were married for almost forty-three years. After that I was on my own for nine years. I became very independent with my time and money. I got used to never telling anyone where I was going or when I would be back. I hadn't dated anyone until I started seeing John. I think we were both surprised that we fit so well together. And we were also surprised that we could love someone again. Every day I am grateful that he came into my life.

Usually, I don't spend a lot of time thinking about what I want to write. I just write from my heart. (I hear that a lot on cooking shows. "Just measure from your heart". It makes me laugh.) This time I really spent some time thinking about it. I asked John what he felt was different about a second marriage and what changes he had to make. He couldn't come up with a single thing. Of course, I had a very long list. Most of them are minor and not very important, but they were still changes in my life. When a person has lived many years as an adult, she becomes accustomed to doing things a certain particular way. And then she marries someone who is also used to doing things his own way. Most of these are not very important at all. They are just things I've noticed along the way. 

When we got married in 2019 I moved into the house where John had been happily living for over thirty years. It was a nice place but it never felt like mine. I always said he had the home court advantage because he had lived there so long. Two years ago, we moved to our house. It's the right home for us.

Here are some of the things that we never really think about because we have always done them our own way. One person has to change. I'm pretty sure it is usually the woman.

How do you make the bed?

What brand names do you buy?

How do you cook certain foods?

Are you a cuddler or do you like to sew and work on craft projects while you watch tv?

What kind of tv shows do you watch?

Do you like to be early or are you always late?

Do you stock up or wait until you are almost out of whatever?

What are your politics?

How do you put the toilet paper roll on the holder?

Which side of the bed do you sleep on?

Do you like to read yourself to sleep?

Do you go to bed early or late?

I'm not saying these are problems! We just don't usually think about why we do things the way that we do. It is hard to change after so many years of being a certain way. And so, we have our own bathrooms and never talk about politics. I am very happy with my Second Story. And I am wishing for many more anniversaries together.

Daily Joys and An Anniversary

As I was idly looking through past blog posts, I started reading them all. When I got back to the beginning I realized that this is my anniversary month. I started my blog in June, 2005. It was first called "The Victorian Gypsy". Twenty years ago!!! Sometimes I feel that maybe I am still writing about the same things. And then I realize that of course I am, because these are the words of my life. I've talked about things I like to do, things I like to see, things I like to make, people I have loved, houses where I've lived, and moments that broke my heart.

I keep coming back to the same stories, hopefully with a new twist. I am always looking for ways to be more organized. I always like to decorate my house with items that have a history or are handmade. I only like recipes that are quick and easy. I still procrastinate. I enjoy traveling and reliving my trips through photos. I also like to make lists, and keep notes that don't always make sense when I read them later.

There were lots of times when I didn't write. I had moments of deep grief when it was all I could do to keep going through the fog. I can see those times in the blank spaces, but I didn't want to write about them here. I need to write, but I didn't always want to share.

Before I started blogging, I had a group on Yahoo called "Living With Intention" or "IntentionalWoman". It never had a big following, but I had big plans. This was during a much busier time in my life, when I expected every day to have a happy ending. It looks like my head was full of the same stories as now! Here are a few excerpts from those writings. They were many years ago but are still relevant:

"I am concentrating right now on decluttering--my life and my head. I read that it is very important to list your complaints and clear out what you don't want. This helps us to see the things that we do want. Then list the five things that are most important to you. Make these your daily joys and try to do something every day that relates to these five.

Are you making time for these five things? I discovered that I am consistently putting the most important items at the bottom of my list--just because I think I will have time to do them eventually"

"Think of all the years passed by in which you said to yourself "I'll do it tomorrow," And how the gods have again and again granted you periods of grace of which you have not availed yourself.                                  It is time to realize that you are a member of the Universe, that you are born of Nature itself, and to know that a limit has been set to your time. Use every moment wisely, to perceive your inner refulgence, or 'twill be gone and nevermore within  your reach."          --Marcus Aurelius (Roman Emperor 161-180AD)

Perhaps this quote from his Meditations sounds a bit dark, but that is not my purpose. There seem to be a lot of books and articles lately about slowing down, taking time for your life and doing the things that really matter. After years of thinking that maybe there is something wrong with us if we can't do it all, and that we should feel guilty when we take time for ourselves, suddenly it is okay to examine our lives and concentrate on the things and people that really matter. This is good. But, it is hard to do. Some days our lives are just a series of loose ends and minor annoyances, and no matter what we do, we haven't made a difference. That's why I am trying to remind myself of my own Daily Joys--they make me glad that I am here today and that I am heading in the right direction. As a culture, we don't like to believe that our time on earth is limited, even though we are conditioned to think that we never have enough time and that we are always rushed and overscheduled. Being busy and overworked and overwhelmed makes people feel validated. We think that we are the only ones who can do our work correctly. And that is not good.

How many of us are living for tomorrow? As I look around my home and office, I see so many projects, some unstarted, many unfinished. How much time do I really think I will have to do all those wonderful crafts and quilts, collages, and dolls? When will I write the best seller that surely lives within me somewhere? Sometimes it is so hard to be realistic about the way to spend time, because the process can be as involving as the project. When I am living for tomorrow I just keep starting new things, without the joy of completion, because I am counting on having those "periods of grace"

 Clear Lake is our happy place. John grew up spending some time there most summers. I had never been there at all until we visited about seven years ago. It is a beautiful and quaint little town in northern Iowa, with a lovely, peaceful lake.  

I have to confess that I have never been out on the water. I am the first to admit that I am not an outdoor woman. I know there is lots of swimming and boating and fishing, but not for me. I like to walk along the edge of the lake, and to put my feet in the water. And I like to admire the sailboats. 

When I was in high school I dated a boy for several months who summered and sailed at the lake. He always promised to teach me to sail. I was a lot more adventurous then and would have loved to try it. It was a pretty short romance, and he never kept that promise. Years later, we worked at the same place. I was a telephone operator and he was a Very Important Person. When I said hello he didn't remember me. That turned into one of my Most Embarrassing Moments. (Obviously, there is more to that story). But I digress.

There is an old paddle boat called the Lady of the Lake. We try to get on one of the 90 minute tours around the lake every single time we visit, but something always goes wrong. Either it is the dry dock day or it's too windy, or it doesn't fit our schedule. Once we got very, very close, and thought we were going to actually board, but there wasn't the minimum number of passengers. We only needed a few more, so those of us anxiously waiting tried to entice the people walking by, and even offered to pay a little extra. It isn't very expensive, so it would have been worth it. However, rules are rules and once again we didn't get our lake cruise.  

There is a 4th of July celebration that makes one feel like an old time movie. At the end of the day there are spectacular fireworks on the lake. We have only stayed to see the fireworks once, but it was very memorable. I will say that some of the regulars get very territorial about claiming and saving their places. But usually almost everyone is Iowa friendly. 

 The Surf Ballroom is a great place to visit. Almost everyone who was anyone in the music business played there. It started out with big bands, and by the 1950's rock n roll was the rockin thing!   It first opened in 1933 across the street from its' present location. After a fire it reopened in July of 1948. It is listed on the National Registry of Historic Places. Inside are framed autographed photos of hundreds of famous musicians. There is a great little giftshop and large dancefloor and the original booths. We've been there several times and always notice something different. It's open on weekdays all year from 8:00 to 4:00. During the summer season it is open half days on the weekends.   

The Central Gardens are wonderful to visit. There are twenty three gardens and displays that are always changing. Some of the other places we like to see are the historical society and the firehouse museum. Both are filled with history and information. There are many scrapbooks of local history. John's family lemonade business were venders there for several years for Fourth of July celebrations. We haven't found any photos yet, but we are sure we will.

Of course the main streets are filled with shops and restaurants. Sometimes we go for a day, but we usually like to stay for two or three. The hotels are reasonable. There are a lot of rental houses. Not inexpensive, but they are a nice treat. At one time, we dreamed of buying a house there, but decided we are a one house couple. I think I could live there, but I barely got John to move out of his neighborhood. It's much more fun to go for a few days during the nice weather and pretend. And that is what we will be doing later this week. Maybe this time we will get that boat ride. I am always optimistic!

      Nestled in northern Iowa, the picturesque town of Clear Lake captivates visitors with its pristine spring-fed lake and scenic charm. Conveniently located between Des Moines and Minneapolis alongI-35, it's a haven for travelers seeking relaxation. (from the Clear Lake Facebook page)

NECESSARY FRIENDSHIPS

Make new friends, but keep the old. One is Silver and the other is Gold

People come into our lives

for a reason, or a season. We will all have a lot of friendships that don't last, and a few that we treasure throughout our lives.

Friendships come in all shapes, ages, and sizes. Some of my very dearest friends are more than twenty years older or younger

 than I am. I recently lost a lovely lady who was always a role model to me. I've often thought of her as the person I wanted to be when I grow up. I admired her style, and grace, and the way she treated people. She was a young 97 when she left us. I know she will be missed by many.

There are necessary friends. And there are friends of convenience.

To a child, every day can bring an opportunity to find a new best friend. Requirements are simple. Spending time together and "playing nice" are usually the only rules. Quickly, without even thinking about it--who was your first best friend? Do you remember why you chose each other, and how important that friendship was? Think about the secrets she shared, and the secrets you told. Did that friendship last, and do you know where he or she is today?

Eventually, we all grow up, and find we can have more than one best friend.

We have the friends that remember us as we were when we were young. This can have a disadvantage when they refuse to believe that one is no longer the fat, yet gawky girl with no self confidence and no particular talent. It can also be a comfort, when we don't have to explain our feelings or our motives to these friends, because they have know us almost as long as we've been here on earth. I have a group of friends that I feel like I have known forever. We usually only see each other once a month, but the camaraderie  we share has never changed.

Sometimes we are attracted to friendships with people just because they are different than we are. It is good to experience the way a different culture or economic level thinks and lives.

Neighbors and other parents can become our friends. New mothers often go through a time when they feel that there is no one to talk to that understands their feelings. This is the time to find a lifeline in a mother's group, or a book club. Our crafting group began when our children were babies, and it is still going strong nearly fifty years later! It is imperative to have some contact with other moms, so that you can reassure yourself that you are doing the right thing, and that there is more than one right thing to do.

There are school friends and work friends. Sometimes we can share the deepest and most private details of our daily lives with our work friends. Often, once we change departments or companies, those friendships can disappear. They have served their purpose. Other times these will become forever friends.

There are the kindred spirits. Kindred spirits are my favorite friends These are the people you meet and you know immediately that they will have a place in your life and in your heart forever. They are the friends who will support you, even when they don't agree with you. They laugh with you and they cry when you need to cry.

There are friends you can travel with. And there are also friends that you can't. Usually, before you take a trip with a friend, it is a good idea to talk about the basics. Does she get up before the sun, and does she understand your need for coffee first thing in the morning? For me, being flexible is one of the most important qualities. I have a few friends who are perfect as traveling companions. We always have a good time, no matter what happens.

When a woman's children have grown up, and she is no longer involved in school activities, or has retired, she may suddenly find herself without a close circle of friends again. This may be the time to join a group or a guild and find other women with that need for friendship. 

Some women I have known say that their husband or their daughter is their best friend. I never believed them when I was younger. There is a possibility I was wrong, but I still think we all need other friends.

I have been lucky in my friendships. But, perhaps luck shouldn't be enough. It is too easy to take a friend for granted. Today is a good time to make a new friend or renew a friendship.  I have a couple of women in mind. Join me as I make a call, send a note, or meet a friend for lunch.

 

Sort of A Travelogue

 My trip to Italy began with a trip. A few days before I left, I tripped over an acorn, and managed to painfully bruise a large part of my body. There were no broken bones, so I was fortunate. I thought it very ironic, since I really like acorns. I even have a small collection of acorn related items. I have always thought of them as my lucky talismans.

I have been planning this vacation for several months, and felt more prepared for it than any of my previous travels. I was wrong. When we left, I was still limping on my bad knee. My friend had just recovered from Covid, and still had a terrible cough and sinus issues. We were a pair.

On the way to the airport, my suitcase almost fell out of the back of the pick-up which hadn't latched properly. A driver in the next lane spotted it, and we got it just in time. I also realized I had forgotten my raincoat. 

Our flight was pretty uneventful, in one of the most uncomfortable planes I have been in. There was very little room to move. I'm not sure why seats are so different, but they are. 

Once we got to Rome, we had a little miscommunication with our driver and found ourselves stranded at the airport. Yes, there really is a language barrier. Finally, things were sorted out, and we made it to our hotel, after the most harrowing hour long ride I have ever experienced in my life. Traffic in Rome is something I never would have believed if I hadn't seen it myself.  One man threatened our elderly driver, and demanded he pull over. After lots of shouting and hand gestures, the issue resolved itself.

Our hotel was beautiful. As were all three places we stayed. Everyone at the hotels and restaurants was very gracious and kind. I found that most of the other people were very abrupt. Even when answering questions, I never seemed to get the answers I was needing.

Everything is only "5 minutes away" . So many people told me to "just turn left and then turn left again, and there it is."  That is so not true. We had small private tours in each city. These were quite expensive compared to the regular tours, but so much better. Long lines are everywhere for every place that you go. And when I say long, I mean one to two hour waits.

The highlight of the tour for me was to see Pompeii. I have wanted to see it for as long as I can remember. We took the train to Naples, and were met by our driver and guide. There were just the two of us and it was an all day tour. Pompeii in the morning, then a "light lunch" (4 courses and delicious), and a driving tour through Naples. I was surprised by all the graffiti. It is everywhere in Naples. 

Pompeii is huge. We only got to see a part, because it would take much more than a morning. My only disappointment is that we didn't get to go to the museum of artifacts. We had 5 minutes in the book shop, and I bought the smallest, most lightweight book. There were so many, and it pained me not to be able to browse. Every building I saw on this trip was empty. I am so used to my trips to England with lovely cottages and manors, and cozy homes and shops. This was nothing at all like that. I guess big cities are not my thing! The guides always held up pictures of what the ruins used to look like. And we saw a lot of ruins, throughout the tour. And we walked by the outsides of many buildings. I want to see furniture! And the ways that people lived.

The Colosseum is spectacular. So is the Archway. And I really loved seeing the Roman Forum and especially the place where the Vestal Virgins lived. I am anxious to study these areas and learn more about them.

I liked Florence much better. Calmer and more beautiful. And we were able to find a small leather shop. I bought a very nice purse as a memento of my trip. It rained a lot while we were there. I missed my raincoat and bought a plastic bag poncho. I was still pretty wet most of the time, and was sharing Kris's cold by then. Ah-choo!!! We had a great tour in the rain, and went inside the Academie. There we saw the statue of David, and some beautiful paintings.

We had four train rides through Italy. The first one was Rome to Naples and then back again on the same day. And then another to Florence and to Venice with our luggage. By our last trip we were feeling like pros. The trains are very nice and much more roomy than the airplanes. The train stations are very crowded with 15 to 25 trains at each one. Everyone is looking for their train number. There is no place to sit. I read somewhere that it is easy to spot an American because we are always looking for a wall to lean on. That is true for me. I am not used to standing for long periods of time. The track number is announced ten minutes before the train leaves, so everyone rushes to the gate to the tracks. Coach numbers were written on the tickets. Ours was always toward the end. The train doors close one minute before the train leaves, so there is no time to dawdle. As I mentioned, I was feeling pretty good about it by the last train. Unfortunately, we were on Coach 9, the very last one, and there was no Coach 9. An employee sent us to Coach 7 with just minutes to spare. And then when the train was already starting, a man said I was in his seat. The lady next to me told me not to move, and he glared at me. The employee came along again and moved us to the end row. My luggage stayed in the middle though, and the nice lady said she would keep an eye on it. All ended well and we got off the train in Venice, luggage and all. Our driver met us and a water taxi took us right to our hotel.

Venice is a magical city. There are no cars and even no bicycles. There are 450 bridges over the canals. The streets are confusing because there are so many crooked alley ways. We walked and walked and climbed many, many stairs. We window shopped because every designer I ever heard of, has a shop in Venice. I don't think there are any regular stores. 

Every meal we had was wonderful. The restaurants were all very formal, with real linens and nice china. And all the food is reasonably priced. The restaurants mostly closed after lunch and didn't open again until about 7:30 pm. By that time we were often too tired to go out again. I never thought I would go to bed hungry in Italy!!!

Much of the time, I felt that I was in a dream scene from an old Hollywood musical. Everything I wanted to see was so close, but I couldn't seem to get there. It would just be on the other side of the city, or only a left turn away, or we couldn't find it. That was disappointing. I missed seeing a famous perfume store, a book store, and a yarn store. All were quite well known, but impossible for us.  

All in all, it was an unforgettable trip. And I was never so happy to be home after a vacation. And, of course there was a flight delay in Chicago. I know I would have enjoyed it much more if I hadn't been in a lot of pain. And I was not prepared for the walking, even though I thought I would be. Any pictures I have of myself are still on my friend's camera. And I look pretty bedraggled most of the time. By the end of the trip, I was feeling that I was much too old to ever travel again. But, now, after a few days, I am starting to revive. And from now on, I am not so sure that acorns are my good luck charm.