NECESSARY FRIENDSHIPS

Make new friends, but keep the old. One is Silver and the other is Gold

People come into our lives

for a reason, or a season. We will all have a lot of friendships that don't last, and a few that we treasure throughout our lives.

Friendships come in all shapes, ages, and sizes. Some of my very dearest friends are more than twenty years older or younger

 than I am. I recently lost a lovely lady who was always a role model to me. I've often thought of her as the person I wanted to be when I grow up. I admired her style, and grace, and the way she treated people. She was a young 97 when she left us. I know she will be missed by many.

There are necessary friends. And there are friends of convenience.

To a child, every day can bring an opportunity to find a new best friend. Requirements are simple. Spending time together and "playing nice" are usually the only rules. Quickly, without even thinking about it--who was your first best friend? Do you remember why you chose each other, and how important that friendship was? Think about the secrets she shared, and the secrets you told. Did that friendship last, and do you know where he or she is today?

Eventually, we all grow up, and find we can have more than one best friend.

We have the friends that remember us as we were when we were young. This can have a disadvantage when they refuse to believe that one is no longer the fat, yet gawky girl with no self confidence and no particular talent. It can also be a comfort, when we don't have to explain our feelings or our motives to these friends, because they have know us almost as long as we've been here on earth. I have a group of friends that I feel like I have known forever. We usually only see each other once a month, but the camaraderie  we share has never changed.

Sometimes we are attracted to friendships with people just because they are different than we are. It is good to experience the way a different culture or economic level thinks and lives.

Neighbors and other parents can become our friends. New mothers often go through a time when they feel that there is no one to talk to that understands their feelings. This is the time to find a lifeline in a mother's group, or a book club. Our crafting group began when our children were babies, and it is still going strong nearly fifty years later! It is imperative to have some contact with other moms, so that you can reassure yourself that you are doing the right thing, and that there is more than one right thing to do.

There are school friends and work friends. Sometimes we can share the deepest and most private details of our daily lives with our work friends. Often, once we change departments or companies, those friendships can disappear. They have served their purpose. Other times these will become forever friends.

There are the kindred spirits. Kindred spirits are my favorite friends These are the people you meet and you know immediately that they will have a place in your life and in your heart forever. They are the friends who will support you, even when they don't agree with you. They laugh with you and they cry when you need to cry.

There are friends you can travel with. And there are also friends that you can't. Usually, before you take a trip with a friend, it is a good idea to talk about the basics. Does she get up before the sun, and does she understand your need for coffee first thing in the morning? For me, being flexible is one of the most important qualities. I have a few friends who are perfect as traveling companions. We always have a good time, no matter what happens.

When a woman's children have grown up, and she is no longer involved in school activities, or has retired, she may suddenly find herself without a close circle of friends again. This may be the time to join a group or a guild and find other women with that need for friendship. 

Some women I have known say that their husband or their daughter is their best friend. I never believed them when I was younger. There is a possibility I was wrong, but I still think we all need other friends.

I have been lucky in my friendships. But, perhaps luck shouldn't be enough. It is too easy to take a friend for granted. Today is a good time to make a new friend or renew a friendship.  I have a couple of women in mind. Join me as I make a call, send a note, or meet a friend for lunch.