Time Marches On

When is it time to start worrying about aging? I remember when I turned 50 and wrote an article I called "The Fifties Queen" about the ways people's attitude towards women changed. It was actually published on an author's website. (Jennifer Louden, who has written several books.) I thought for a while that would be a huge turning point in my life as a writer.  Obviously, it wasn't because it was twenty-six years ago!

I used to work most often with people who were younger than me. It seemed that as soon as the subject of age came up, I felt like co-workers treated me differently.  I learned that fifty is the age when many women think they are becoming invisible. Suddenly, it seems like your opinions don't matter as much.

Excerpt from The 50's Queen:

"Things change when you are fifty. You are suddenly in another age bracket in surveys. You are no longer the young mother, and you don't feel quite old enough to be wise. Doctors study your charts a little bit more and suddenly start ordering tests just to have a baseline. Hormone therapy is recommended as the immediate cure to any problems that you have now or may have sometime in the distant (or not so distant) future. Every question seems to have same answer-that you are fifty now, and things will be different. If you lose or forget about anything, it is suddenly attributed to your age, even if you have been losing and forgetting things for years."

One of the biggest jolts for me at fifty, was when my mom called to tell me that there was a big sale on underwear at a local department store. "Big, white, cool, and loose" she said. "Just the way WE like them." I was crushed. It was one of those moments when time stood still. She then went on to say that my younger sisters wouldn't be interested, but of course I would. It was a defining moment of my womanhood. I started asking everyone what kind of underwear they bought. I wore sexy bikini panties way longer than I probably should have, just because I didn't want to give in to reality. Now that I am older and wiser, I believe in comfort.

I am still losing and forgetting things, but now my friends and I know that it is because we really are getting older. And sometimes we wonder if our absent-minded foibles are just innocent mistakes or symptoms of something more serious. John and I are watching one another and putting a reminder by our exit door. He is a few years older than I am, so I have been teasing him about things that happen here. He has been known to go out to restaurants in his house slippers instead of his outside shoes. He has also forgotten his wallet more than once. He wears a hearing aid when he wants to and pretends he is listening to me the rest of the time. Sometimes we will miss an exit when driving. I am the one who forgets and loses my phone the most often. Just last night I came home from a funeral visitation and realized that my shirt was inside out. There was a washing instruction tag on one side seam, and a size tag for all the world to see. And of course, all the raw edges of the seams. It's a good thing we have one another for our old age.

WHAT I'M READING: I just started Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke. It is called a satirical and dark thriller about a trad-wife influencer. I haven't gotten very far yet and am reading it for an online book club.

Tiptoe Through The Tulips

My husband John always likes to be early for things. I think we've had to make a few adjustments since I like to be right on time but have a tendency to be late. Now I ask him what time he wants to leave. He tells me, and I think he is learning not to expect me to be ready to go until that very exact time. For quite a while after we got married he would suddenly announce that he was "ready to go" with no advance warning whenever we had to be somewhere. We finally discussed it and I found out that he thought he was making a joke. It was a line from some television show that I had hardly heard of and never watched. So he wasn't really trying to irritate the heck out of me. He thought he was being funny. I thought this marriage might end before it even really got started.

I tell you this story to explain why we are at The Tulip Festival more than a week before it even begins. 

Pella is a quaint little village about 45 miles from Iowa's capital city. It is a great place to go for a day trip or even a couple of days any time of the year. Cute shops, good restaurants, a town square and, and museums make it a good place to visit at any time.

There are probably tulip celebrations in many little towns with a Dutch heritage, but I'm pretty sure that the one in Pella, Iowa is one of the best.

We visited eight days before the official start time. There were quite a few people around, but nothing like it will be next week. I think we started going early because one year we couldn't find a place to park without walking too many blocks. And I really don't like big crowds.

It takes a lot of planning to make something like this happen. This is the ninety-first year for the festival. The Parks Department and volunteers are responsible for planting over 120,000 tulips bulbs every fall. There are at least seventy different varieties. A sample of each is planted in the Avenue of Tulips, so visitors can see them all at one time. This year our spring weather started too soon, so some of the flowers have already peaked, but there are still many to see. I remember one other time when some of the flowers bloomed too early. There were rumors that more tulips were brought in to fill any gaps. After tulip time ends, the bulbs are dug up every single year. People are allowed to collect them. I hear that is a really crazy time. They do this so that there is a different variety every year. I hear that tulip blooms are the prettiest the first year. After the blooms are gone, annual flowers are planted. We don't have any tulips yet at our house, but want to get some this fall.

I felt a little under the weather today, and was even more bedraggled than a few of the tulips, so we didn't stay long. 

There is always a lot to see, during Tulip Time and beyond, so you can visit the website and also pick up one of the free magazines which gives a lot of information.

Fun Facts: The boyhood home of Wyatt Earp (Brave, Courageous, and Bold!) is in the Pella Historical Village.

Don't forget the Klokkenspel. It was made especially for Pella and is part of the large town clock. The musical bells and mechanical wooden figures "perform" several times a day.

The windmill is also very picturesque. It is one of the tallest working windmills in North America. I have never been inside, but tours are available which include all five floors.

The Opera House is definitely worth visiting. And the canal is very pretty. There are parades and street sweeping twice a day. The costumes are very authentic. The Tulip Queen and her Court make a big appearance.

There are many, many things to see and do in Pella all year long. If you can make the trip, I'm sure you will enjoy it.

READING AND WRITING

 I was completely and totally mesmerized by this novel. I started to read it a few nights ago and finished it the next day. (304 pages). It is a book that will stay with me. Basically, it is about a woman in her seventies who has been writing letters to people for most of her life. The book covers the correspondence between 2012 and 2022. There are letters to people she loves and has loved, people she admires, people she is upset with, people she never got along with at all, and people she has never met. She writes to authors to let them know what she thinks of their books. Almost everyone answers her letters. Sometimes a new friendship starts. That's it. The entire book is letters, except for a few emails. I have learned this is called an epistolary. I may have already known that. It is like reading some one's diary, but maybe with permission. Little by little we discover the joys and sorrows and regrets of her life, and our own. There are parts of this book that I really identify with, but most of it is very different than the person I am. I do love the way she organizes her life, and sits at her desk with her favorite pens and paper and beautiful penmanship. She and her dearest friend always close their letters by adding the name of whatever book they are reading.

One of the reasons that I am so taken with this book, is that I recently resolved to start writing letters again. A few weeks ago, I copied a "pledge" to write at least one letter every Sunday. I haven't gotten very far with it yet, but I have hope.

When I was younger, I wrote a lot of letters, and almost always had a penpal. For most of my teen years, I wrote to a girl in India. Her name was Aruna, and we sent each other little gifts. She always wanted me to come visit. And then we both grew up and grew apart. I had another pen friend from the east coast. She was named Faith and seemed to live a life that was much wilder and adventurous than mine. Maybe it was real, but I never knew. She would sneak out of her house at night, and meet up with older boys, and then send me long letters about them. Perhaps she writes steamy novels about them now. I had a lot more in common with Aruna. I had many friends that I kept in touch with through letters for a long time. Now we sometimes email or communicate through Facebook. Not as much as I want to, though. I regret the times I didn't write when I should have.  Now that I have decided to write again, maybe I will be able to do that. I've bought real stationery and may try fountain pens again. And sealing wax. Oh, the possibilities. 

 Not every one of the Moran-Daugherty-Brafford clan was able to get together yesterday to celebrate the High Holy Day of St Patrick, but we had a small yet enthusiastic showing. John and I left early but I'm sure there was some singing going on later in the day. I can say without bragging that my kids know the words to just about every Irish song that was ever written. I've put my Irish music away for awhile, and I'm pretty sure that John is happy about that. Even though he is a lot more Irish than I am, he only knows the basics when it comes to Irish music.

We've celebrated lots of St. Paddy's Days over the years and I'm sure it's a tradition that will keep on going.

We met at Captain Roys, which I'm sure was just about the most festive place in our city. My daughter, Meghan spent weeks making decorations. There were lots of green paper chains, buntings, lights, and shamrocks. 

I tried to show a really good video, but I guess that is beyond my capabilities. So, use your imagination. It was grand, as they would say in the old country.

Well, the holiday is over now, so I will just leave you with one more Irish thought.

"May you always have walls for the wind.

A roof for the rain.

Tea beside the fire.

Laughter to cheer you,

Those you love near you,

And all that your heart might desire"

LOVECHARMS AND POTIONS

 Today I have a few of my favorite things to share. They are gypsies, flowers, love charms, and tea. If you take the time to look at old cards and other ephemera, you will notice that these items appear often. What could be better for Valentine's week?

There are lots of superstitions and charms about love. Maybe we can try a few. Here's a card trick for you. Draw all the face cards from a deck of cards, put them in a stocking on Friday night and place the stocking under your pillow. When the sun rises on Saturday morning (Valentine's Day!) draw a card. If it's a King it means a speedy marriage. A Queen will mean no marriage at all. And a Jack is a seducer who will surely give you trouble. Diamonds are riches. Hearts mean true love, Spades are thrift, and clubs are for poverty. This is from Fontaine's Golden Wheel Fortune and Dream Book, which was published in 1862. I'm not sure the odds are very good for this one, but you take your chances. 

There are many counting rhymes. Some use cards or flowers or birds. Most of us have pulled petals off a daisy while saying "He loves me, He loves me not." Haven't we? We can get a little more dramatic with this:

He loves me.

He don't.

He'll have me.

He won't.

He would if he could, but he can't.

How about this one?

1-I love

2-I love

3-I love, I say

4-I love with all my heart

5-I cast away

6-He loves

7-She loves

8-They both love

9-He comes

10-He tarries

11-He courts

12-He marries

There are more, but you get the idea.

Many of the old sayings and charms involved flowers, birds, herbs and dreams. 

If you keep a dried stalk of yarrow, it will bring you seven years of married bliss. Nine stems will bring lasting love. If a man takes a sprig of basil from the hands of a woman he will love her forever. But, never cut parsley or you will have bad luck in love. You don't want to take that chance, so pinch it off when you need a little garnish.

If you want to make a wish, write it on a sage leaf and put it under your pillow. Sleep on it for three nights. If you dream of what you desire, then you will get it. If you don't then bury the sage.

This also works if you place lavender under your pillow. Think of your wish. You only get one chance for this one.

And finally, on the night before Valentine's Day pin five bay leaves to your pillow. Wear a freshly washed night gown and say:

Good valentine, be kind to me

In dreams let me my true love see.

And John, just to let you know, you're my cup of tea!

A Fish Story

 

Yesterday was John's birthday. He is 82. I don't know if he would want me to tell you that, but after all, this is my blog so I can say whatever I want. For his birthday we decided to get a fish. We have a picture here of Mr. Fish. This is the closest thing we have had for a pet since I have been part of this family.

We spent a lot of time discussing this and wondering if we were ready. Pet ownership, after all, is a big responsibility. I have never had a fish. Several years ago, John had a goldfish who was also named Mr. Fish. He lived several years. He seemed to have a real relationship with Mr. Fish, because there are family stories about how he would tickle Mr. Fish's belly. I guess they were very close.

We talked about the name for our new family member. John wanted Mr. Fish 2. I vetoed that because everyone should have their own name. I am Mrs. Brafford 2 but would really like to be called by my first name. I think our fish would feel the same. We decided on the name Rudolfo.

We also talked about where to put him. John wanted the coffee table. I didn't. My vote was the mantel or maybe the top of the desk. If there was going to be any belly tickling going on, I didn't want it in my direct line of vision.

So as you can see, we did not make this decision lightly. We googled and read reviews and picked a local store that sounded promising. When we got there, the building was open, but no one was there. When we went back to our car we noticed some activity next door, so we went inside. We discovered that the owner was in the middle of downsizing and wouldn't really have anything available for a few weeks. We were disappointed because we really wanted to buy local. We googled again and decided to try a big box pet store on the other side of town. This was like a pet supermarket. They had everything pet related we could think of. Everything, that is, except fishbowls!

Did you know that fishbowls are considered inhumane? I didn't. I thought that a fish would happily live in a fishbowl. Not true. Modern fish need fish tanks. And if they are goldfish then they need very big fish tanks. After hearing how terrible we were for wanting a goldfish bowl we decided to try again. The next store didn't have very good reviews but we thought we would give it a try. The reviews were right. The building was very old and dirty, but the owner was very knowledgeable about fish. Once again we heard how no one has a fishbowl anymore and that we really needed a big ugly tank. I was holding a small one that I thought might be a possibility when there was a sudden movement by our feet. I screamed and jumped as a mouse ran by, barely missing my shoe. The owner said, very nonchalantly, that he usually catches about four a day. I didn't drop the tank, which was a good thing. But by this time we decided we weren't ready to be fish parents yet.

We changed to his alternate birthday gift which was a sports jacket. We drove back across town to the big mall. We hadn't been there since John bought a suit for our wedding. He still gets online ads  from the store at least once a week. When we got there we couldn't find the store. Finally we learned that it closed a few years ago! So we tried another store and he found a perfect fit. Then we looked at the price tag, and it was over seven times our budget! That is why I never shop at the big mall!!!

One more time, across town again. He found the right jacket at the right price, and everyone was happy. We ended the day with a nice birthday dinner with family. The only problem there was a nice gift card for a movie theatre which no longer accepts them. There aren't any AMC theatres in our area anymore. Who knew? Obviously, not us.

I do hope this doesn't indicate how our year is going to be. At least my birthday is several months away.

BE MINE, VALENTINE

Christmas is over, but before the merchandise was even put away, the aisles in stores were filled with items for Valentines Day. I'm not sure who wants to buy cards and toys and chocolates and flowers early in January, but they have certainly been available.  

I've barely gotten things packed up this new year, so my heart and valentine collections aren't out yet. I am hoping that next week will all be back to normal. I do love hearts. I am not so crazy about pink except at this time of year. And I love the sentimental. I only want to see the pretty ones. 

Many of us remember decorating shoe boxes and collecting valentines at school. When I was in primary school I don't think there was a rule about giving valentines to everyone. So it was really a kind of popularity contest. I think I usually fell somewhere in between low and middle. I'm pretty sure everyone gets a valentine now. I don't know if they decorate boxes anymore.

There was a time when "Penny Dreadfuls" were popular. These were just what they sound like! They were also known as "Vinegar Valentines". They were cheap cards with impolite verses. A typical card might tell someone why she was destined to be an old maid. These were often sent anonymously and were popular from the 1830's up until the early twentieth century. There aren't as many of them around because the recipients often threw them away. I probably would have.

There really was a St Valentine. In fact, there was more than one. And there were lots of stories. He (or they) was martyred in the 3rd century. His feast day was on February 14 which coincided with the Roman festival of Lupercalia, which was one of those wild festivals that the early Church wanted to make disappear. He became the patron of love, romance, and marriage, instead of the popular Roman fertility celebrations.

Throughout the next several centuries, letters and poems were written to and by lovers and became known as valentines. 

There are many stories about them, but my favorite is about Esther Howland, known as the "Mother of the American Valentine". Esther belonged to a wealthy family in Massachusetts. Her father very successfully sold stationery and paper products. After Esther graduated from  Mount Holyoke Female Seminary in 1847, she received an elaborate English valentine from one of her father's business associates. As many of us are apt to do she said, " I can make that.". And she did. After ordering some paper lace and ribbons and stickers, she made 10 prototypes. Her brother took them and showed them to clients when he was getting orders. He came home with $5000.00 worth of orders and that began her business. She recruited her friends and they set up an assembly line on the third floor of the family home and began cutting and pasting. Her business just kept growing. She also had a cottage industry and dropped off supplies to women in the area and then would pick up the finished cards in a week. She operated her business for several years and sold it in 1881. She never married, even though she was surrounded by romance and lace.

Valentines have varied from plain to fancy. Esther's were known for paper hinges that made the lace stand out and little compartments and envelopes to hold a romantic token. The words were always on the inside rather than the front.

As time progressed there were fewer elaborate cards and more postcards. Don't forget to buy your Valentines before it is too late. After all, they've been in the stores for almost a month!

Another New Year...What Will It Bring?

I keep this card in a frame where I can see it everyday. It reminds me of all the things I want. Wishes and Magic and Dreams and Good Madness. Books and Kisses and Surprises!

This holiday season did not turn out the way I planned. I spent most of it being sick. Our family Christmases were after the main event so I had marked off that last week to finish shopping, and wrapping, and making everything Christmasy. I started to make several gifts this year, and they were all in the finishing stages too. And I felt so awful I didn't even care (not too much, anyway). So I would really like a do-over. I did get to see everyone. I was not contagious. And of course, one side of the family forgot to take pictures. I'm not sure why that happens, but we hardly ever get a group photo. Next time.

 

It is New Year's Eve now that I write this and I don't think I will be awake to see the new year arrive. I haven't written any resolutions or even chosen my word of the year yet. I often try to do a card reading on December 31st, but that will have to wait too. I am on the mend, so I will soon be feeling like myself again, but not yet. Hoping you are all celebrating and that 2026 will be the year we all all hoping for, filled with love, happiness, and good magic. Happiest of New Years to us all.

"One can't have too large a party. A large party secures its' own amusement."    EMMA

ii

 Yesterday was the 250th anniversary of Jane Austen's birth. As always my branch of JASNA (Jane Austen Society of North America) celebrated with a toast. We also had a very special Christmas feast. Our group meets monthly and is a mixture of book club, academic discussions, guest speakers, food, crafts, and Regency information. Every month I learn something new.

Most people are familiar with the author through the movies if not her books. She was born in 1775 and died at the age of 41 in1817. She wrote six books:

Sense and Sensibility published in 1811

Pride and Prejudice 1813

Mansfield Park 1814

Emma 1815

Northanger Abbey and Persuasion were both published in 1817, after her death.

I remember laughing out loud the first time I read one of her books. Her characters are witty and relatable. She can be a bit sarcastic and snarky, especially in her letters to her sister, which have also been published.  Her books always have a happy ending.

We started planning the dinner several months ago. Each year we have a different focus. I've been involved in the everyday family dinner, the Wedding breakfast, and this one. We research period recipes, and try to be authentic as possible. We have to make a few concessions, but there are several cookbooks from the time that we use. This time we had roast goose, pork, rice pie, chestnut dressing, curry, roasted root vegetables stewed fruit, Bath buns, brown butter, honey, olives, gingerbread, and flaming Christmas pudding. Drinks were wassail and syllabub. My contribution was the gingerbread and party favors. I was also the last minute standin for the parlour games, since our games mistress was in the hospital.

I forgot to take a photo of the roast goose. But here are the party favors. The boxes look like little copies of Pride and Prejudice.

I made candied orange peel, which isn't difficult but takes hours. Orange peels are cut into narrow strips and most of the white pith is cut away. Then they are boiled three times for at least five minutes each time. This is very important or they will be bitter. After this they are simmered in a simple syrup for about an hour until they are translucent. Then it's time to drain them for another hour and then roll them in sugar. After a day and a half of drying they are finished. And so was I. If you have read anything I write then you probably know that I don't like to cook anything that takes more prep time than eating time. They were cute when finally ready. I wrapped them in waxed paper bundles. The boxes also contained little boxes of raisins (just in case anyone wants a game of Snapdragon), mixed nuts, and cards with quotes from her books.

We spent about an hour in the parlour with our wassail while the cooks put the finishing touches on our delicious meal. Lucky for me that I had some experience with games when I worked for our local history museum several years ago. I just had to brush up on the right time period. Jane Austen was not a Victorian, but fortunately for me some of the games were the same! We talked about some of the action games, and then played some remembering games like "Packing Grandmother's Trunk" and "The Minister's Cat"and "The Ribbon Game". We passed on "Snapdragon" because who wants to try and snatch raisins out of a bowl of flames. We ended with Forfeits, and then it was time for our meal and toast to Jane Austen.

"Time will explain"    Persuasion

"Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings".    Mansfield Park

My favorite: "Ah! There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort."        Emma

EVERYWHERE IT'S CHRISTMAS

Last week I shared some stories about my trees over the years. I probably sounded a little bit particular about what I did and didn't like. (Christmas balls!). I relented a little and bought a few vintage glass balls to add to the tree. I really couldn't find very many, and when I did, the prices were mostly more than I wanted to pay. I love old things, but I don't always understand why keeping them in an old falling apart original box makes them worth so much more money. So now we have some old bubble lights, breakable glass ornaments, and two funny little elves living in our tree. They wouldn't be my choice, but I guess it isn't just my Christmas. John's taste is a lot different than mine. I'm just glad he doesn't insist on ornaments with googly eyes. Actually, the little elves are pretty cute. I found them at Target and they were just the right size for the red ladder.

I'm really not sure what the story is about Target and some of the other stores this year. I was there earlier in the season and thought they were just putting merchandise out later than usual. But now it almost looks like they are finished and clearing it out. I don't know if a large amount has been sold or if it was never in stock.

I'm not one to talk to strangers in stores, but I was so discombobulated by the vast emptiness in the Christmas aisles that I started a conversation with another shopper. She was just as surprised as I was. I will probably be back in a few days and will check again. It seems too early to be clearing it all out. Maybe they just haven't gotten everything in yet. Could this be a result of the tariffs?  Are other stores like this too? I haven't done a lot of shopping this year. I've been ordering online. I have noticed that my packages are taking longer to get here, and that the arrival dates usually change at least once. We have cut our gift lists, and I am making some of the presents. Also, I am trying to shop more at the small independent businesses. 

Even though the big stores don't seem as festive as before, restaurants are going crazy with decorations. I went to lunch at a popular cafe this week, and they had put up even more than last week's pizza place. Every inch of the rooms was covered in sparkle! Dots of colored light fell from the ceiling to the floors, swirling around everywhere. Lights were dimmed to set off the colors. The ceiling and walls were covered and there were trees all over. Every table had a sign reminding customers not to stay more than an hour so that others could enjoy the views. For me, it was just too much.

                                                                               

                                 Pella, Iowa hosted its' annual tour of homes last weekend. Four beautiful houses were open to the public and they did have a large crowd. It is one of their big events every year. I really enjoy the clever ways that the owners decorate their homes. I guess I really am into quality over quantity. Or more likely, imagination over quantity. I don't like seeing bare shelves in stores, but I also feel that everything this year is either not enough or too much. I am feeling very Grinchy-Scroogy and wanting to simplify. HoHoHo.

  

 

Happy Thanksgiving

 

November is best known for the Thanksgiving holiday.  Many people think of this as a simple eating marathon, but of course that isn't what it was meant to be. The first Thanksgiving was in 1621 in Plymouth, Massachusetts, and was held to celebrate a successful harvest. It was based on English fall festivals, with a Pilgrim twist. This was the one we all learned about as gradeschoolers. I had never heard of the previous celebration in Jamestown in 1619. It was actually a prayer meeting, not a feast. The next official time was called "Solemn Thanksgiving" and was celebrated in June. A solemn Thanksgiving was known as a day of "fasting and humiliation." I am thinking it was a reminder to be humble and grateful for survival. It didn't really catch on. Most of us would rather feast than fast!

President George Washington declared a National Day of Thanksgiving in 1789. Other early presidents kept it as a holiday, except for Thomas Jefferson, and John Quincy Adams because of their beliefs about the separation of church and state. It didn't become an official holiday until 1863, when President Abraham Lincoln signed a proclamation calling on the American people to unite and observe a special day of thankfulness. Since that time, it has been celebrated every year, and since 1941, has always been on the fourth Thursday of November.

Sarah Josepha Hale was the woman responsible for making this a national holiday. She was the editor of Godey's Lady's Book, which was a very popular nineteenth century lady's magazine. She wrote a novel called "Northwood" in 1827. In it she described a Thanksgiving dinner with our traditional foods. Her characters discussed why it should be a national holiday. Mrs. Hale sent letters to governors and Presidents for over thirty years (!) to actively promote a single, consistent date for Thanksgiving. Finally, in 1863, President Lincoln listened to her and reminded the war-torn nation to be grateful for the "blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies" in an official Proclamation.

Franklin Roosevelt changed the date to the third Thursday in November in 1939. He said that a longer Christmas shopping season would be better for economic recovery of the country. I'm pretty sure he was influenced by the retailers. Only 32 states accepted the new date, and finally in 1941, Congress set a fixed date of the fourth Thursday in November. I would prefer it to be the third.

Wishing everyone a happy day of peace and plenty with a reminder to us all to give thanks and be grateful. 

 When John and I combined households six years ago, we realized right away that we had more things than we had room to keep. I had already downsized several times, but I don't think he and his first wife had ever let anything go. We realized right away that many, many items needed to move on to family, or friends, thrift shop donations, the end of the driveway, or the dumpster. I rented a small booth at a local antique mall and started pricing our "treasures". My booth has never had a theme or been truly staged. But now, finally, I am running low on inventory. Except for some handcrafted items that I've made, (and a few storage pieces) I have never bought something just to put in the booth. My dilemma is this--is it time to get serious and put more money and personality into this space or is it time to let it go?

 

I'm really not much of a shopper. I lose interest pretty quickly in department stores. Clothes shopping doesn't excite me at all.  I do love to look at everything in big box stores. I want to see all the books, the toys, the holiday decorations and the housewares. I enjoy craft and fabric stores even though there are getting to be fewer and fewer of them. Cute little boutiques and garage sales make me nervous because I always feel obligated to buy something even if I don't want anything. But thrift stores are different.

 

 I am afraid that I may have been bitten by the dangerous insect called the "Thrift Store Bug". Twice a week I attend a Pilates class unless I talk myself out of it. I have just discovered that there are at least six thrift stores between my class and my home. My initial plan was to buy items to resell at a profit. So, I have been cruising the aisles the past few days. I found a vintage nativity set from Italy. FOR ME. Two old tin containers jumped into my cart. FOR ME. A tiny suitcase FOR ME. Three white baby dresses FOR ME. I may have to rethink this plan.

Almost Halloween

 

I do love Halloween decor, even though I keep it pretty simple. I've shown this bookcase lots of times, but I will never get tired of it. Most of my Halloween books are for children, just because they are the most fun. I can't resist cute-scary witches and haunted houses.

Most of the places I have lived have had fireplaces. We still haven't used this one, but I always enjoy having a mantel. The picture is non-negotiable. John's mother had this print of Captain Bly for as long as he can remember, and then it was passed on to him. It's always had a place in his houses, but this is the first house where there has been a fireplace. So now he has a place of honor. I really need to read about him. All I know is from the old movie "Mutiny on the Bounty". I always wonder why I have this portrait of a crazy person in my house. My taste usually leans toward florals and landscapes. 

The rest of the items on the mantel change frequently. Right now I have three pumpkin candlesticks that I made from a Dollar Tree video. I do have a passion for that store, but it's always hard to find things. I did manage to get the little witch hats for the pumpkin heads, but never saw another one. They either don't get them in, or they disappear quickly. I know there are women out there buying up all the supplies, especially when I only need one of something. But I digress. The pumpkins are something I will take apart and re-use, probably for Christmas.

I found the orange shelf many years ago and decided it was perfect for Halloween potion bottles. It changes from year to year. One year a grandson (who is now all grown up) and I had a good time deciding what to put in the bottles. The Witch's Brew was green and sparkly paper. Ghost In a Bottle was stretched out cotton balls. Poison Ivy was dried plants. My favorite label says "Rue--Adds a Touch of Regret to Any Dish". I used to have rue growing in my herb garden. It was lovely but could leave a nasty rash if touched without gloves.

I planned to decorate the Witch's hat but it hasn't happened yet. The boots remind me of the ones I wore every day when I worked at a Living History museum.

Today is just a little touch of Halloween about the house. Fall has finally arrived after many days of tricking us into thinking it is still summer. So the furnace is on and so are the sweaters. I have to remind myself that it is time to wear socks! I hope we all enjoy this peek into Halloween!

A Witchy Wish

                             When your fortune on Halloween is told                                   Your beauty will last and you will never look old.

GALENA: A LITTLE TOWN WITH A BIG STORY

We enjoyed our little trip to Galena, Illinois last week. It was the second time that we've been there together. The weather was beautiful, even though most of the leaves hadn't changed yet. It is a very hilly and wooded area, so it will be beautiful in another week or so. Galena is a river town, built along the Mississippi. There are a few old mansions open to tour, including the home of former President, Ulysses S. Grant. The oldest house in Galena was built as a trading post in 1826. There is also a very long main street with many shops and restaurants. We spent a lot of our time walking around seeing the shops and sampling the restaurants. We had been to some of the houses on a past trip, so we didn't go this time. I can always visit the stores more than once!

One night we had dinner at VinnyVannucchi's which is up a steep stone street. Once we got there, they only had one table open and it was on the third floor. I truly felt like I was back in Italy with all the walking! There were several Italian restaurants. I looked in some of the windows and a lot of them reminded me of the wonderful places that my friend Kris and I went to exactly a year ago. 

We stayed at the Irish Cottage which is a very nice place just a few minutes from the town. It isn't an old building though it has a wonderful ambience. The connecting pub was actually furnished with fixtures from Ireland. The bar has a snug at each end. I watch a lot of British tv, and people always seem to be going to the snug for private meetings and conversations. Each one is a small room with a window connected directly to the bar. We sat in the Victorian snug one night and drank Irish drinks and listened to the band. It was lovely.

I liked the other Snug too. It was a little smaller, but naturally I would like to have the cupboards and drawers. I will always miss my little she-shed cottage, but maybe I should have a snug.

On the wall by the stage is a quote from the poet Arthur Shaughnessy. His poem "Ode" was written in 1875.

Another of my favorite places was the library with names of Irish authors above the shelves. I did spend some pleasant hours there.

The guests were friendly, and we enjoyed talking with some of the other travelers. I do admit to being an eavesdropper and peoplewatcher. This was a habit I developed when I spent so many years eating alone. I would always look at other diners, imagine their lives and listen to their conversations. One of the funniest things we heard was at breakfast our first morning. A woman walked by an older gentleman who was innocently enjoying his meal and asked him if she could rub his bald head. She commented that it was very shiny and then asked him if he used a moisturizer on it. I warned John that he had better keep his hat on. We didn't see her again. There was another woman at breakfast with a gravity defying bun on the top of her head. We saw her several times in the shops and it barely moved. I was in the buffet line with her friend who told me all the reasons why she couldn't eat eggs. They were part of a "girls trip" who all had matching tee shirts. You see a lot of those in Galena. It's a fun place to go and I recommend it. We had a really nice time. John and I are very good at short trips, but we have really become homebodies in our golden years. I'm looking forward to many more anniversaries for us.

Wedded Bliss

 

October 12 will be our sixth wedding anniversary. It's hard to believe that we have been married that long. I still think of us as newlyweds. Crazy young kids. Even though at our age, we should be counting every year as ten. That would make this our sixtieth. How time flies. We've decided to take a few days and celebrate in Galena, since it's such a cute little town and only a few hours away. We spent our original honeymoon in Laramie, even though that wasn't our plan. Our car (practically new) broke down, and so we spent most of our time either driving or being stranded or waiting around in dealerships. It wasn't the best way to start a marriage but we managed to survive it. Our trip was cut short, and we drove our loaner car home and returned in mid-December when ours was finally fixed. This was my first hint that John isn't a great traveler. One of my favorite places in Laramie was a bookstore called "The Second Story". It was upstairs in a building originally used as a brothel back in the wild, wild west. There were lots of little rooms.

The name may just sound familiar since it is what I call my writings. It seemed very fitting since this is the second story of our lives. It was also the name that I gave to my little she-shed cottage. Sadly, I had to leave it when we moved. My cottage and the front porch are the only things I really miss about our first house.

I have a very nice book of wedding photographs, but since it is the middle of the night and I should be packing for tomorrow I don't have much to show. 

Getting married for a second time is very different than the first. Jim and I were very young even though we didn't think so at the time. We were both barely nineteen. Keeping a home and a marriage were both very new to us and we learned together. We were married for almost forty-three years. After that I was on my own for nine years. I became very independent with my time and money. I got used to never telling anyone where I was going or when I would be back. I hadn't dated anyone until I started seeing John. I think we were both surprised that we fit so well together. And we were also surprised that we could love someone again. Every day I am grateful that he came into my life.

Usually, I don't spend a lot of time thinking about what I want to write. I just write from my heart. (I hear that a lot on cooking shows. "Just measure from your heart". It makes me laugh.) This time I really spent some time thinking about it. I asked John what he felt was different about a second marriage and what changes he had to make. He couldn't come up with a single thing. Of course, I had a very long list. Most of them are minor and not very important, but they were still changes in my life. When a person has lived many years as an adult, she becomes accustomed to doing things a certain particular way. And then she marries someone who is also used to doing things his own way. Most of these are not very important at all. They are just things I've noticed along the way. 

When we got married in 2019 I moved into the house where John had been happily living for over thirty years. It was a nice place but it never felt like mine. I always said he had the home court advantage because he had lived there so long. Two years ago, we moved to our house. It's the right home for us.

Here are some of the things that we never really think about because we have always done them our own way. One person has to change. I'm pretty sure it is usually the woman.

How do you make the bed?

What brand names do you buy?

How do you cook certain foods?

Are you a cuddler or do you like to sew and work on craft projects while you watch tv?

What kind of tv shows do you watch?

Do you like to be early or are you always late?

Do you stock up or wait until you are almost out of whatever?

What are your politics?

How do you put the toilet paper roll on the holder?

Which side of the bed do you sleep on?

Do you like to read yourself to sleep?

Do you go to bed early or late?

I'm not saying these are problems! We just don't usually think about why we do things the way that we do. It is hard to change after so many years of being a certain way. And so, we have our own bathrooms and never talk about politics. I am very happy with my Second Story. And I am wishing for many more anniversaries together.

And So It Begins

 

Today I started decorating for fall. This is early for me. I usually put summer away and take some time before I begin with Halloween after the first of October. I am planning to entertain a group of friends on the first, so I am starting now. It's a slow start. We are still expecting some temperatures in the 90's this week, so I don't feel autumn crispness. 

It was my turn to host the same ladies in February, but we had to cancel three times because of weather and illness. By the third time I was so done with it. I was over prepared and under inspired. I had gone through all my Valentine decorating, on to St. Paddy's and finished up with Easter. I don't usually decorate a lot for all the holidays. I do like to have some handmade and vintage items for the major ones. And I like to reuse and repurpose my old decorations. Earlier today this wreath was still on the door for summer. I started adding to it, and with a little ribbon it was transformed. I may add a few more things to it as I unpack the Halloween boxes.

My favorite items for decorating are garlands, buntings and banners. They are very English and I really enjoy finding and making them. I have more of them now than I have available spaces. I guess that is why this one hangs on the shower curtain!

My least favorite thing is that I will be wearing glitter for the next few months. No matter how careful I try to be, I somehow manage to sparkle at this time of year.

I don't really entertain much anymore. When I do, I tend to get into a panic about it. I've never been a person that can be ready for drop in visitors. Instead, I make lists and worry, and wish I'd bought new rugs, and had enough chairs and dishes for everyone. I have downsized so much in the past few years that now I have to buy or borrow household items when I need them once or twice a year. Luckily, I know people.

 I had an acquaintance once who spontaneously invited me to visit and showed off her laundry room. It was more decorated than any room in my house and looked just like a magazine layout. We never really became friends. I don't think that's the reason why, but it may have been.

I went to Hobby Lobby today. It's not a store that I visit often, but sometimes there just isn't anywhere else to go for emergency craft supplies. For me, most of it is overwhelming. There are too many choices, and much of it isn't a style I like. And they choose not to carry anything Halloween anymore! I miss the old fabric stores.

I've written before on my thoughts on Ease, Elegance, and Economy. To these I would add Comfort. I have a house where I seem to live in every room. I do like some cuteness in a laundry room, but not so much that it isn't functional. My newest favorite saying is from a tv show: " I was made for comfort, not for speed." (Vernon Scripps, not a role model, but I do like that quote)