Quiet Down Cobwebs

According to the American Cleaning Institute, National Spring Cleaning Week will be here soon. Always beginning on the fourth Sunday of March, it will start on March 22 and go until March 28. It's almost time to get those feather dusters flying. The word is out that 92% of the population still engages in spring cleaning.

Ritual cleaning has been a part of this time of year for thousands of years. Over three thousand years ago, ancient Persian women called it "shaking the house". Sweeping the dust away and removing clutter was thought to bring good luck. It was also a time for purification. Throughout the ancient world, brooms, brushes, and sea sponges were used to get rid of grime and houses were scrubbed from top to bottom.

Springtime is traditionally a time for renewal. In winter our bodies produce less melatonin (the sleepy hormone). The combination of sunlight and warmer weather make us want to open the windows and freshen things up.

Let's move on from ancient times and look at the nineteenth century. Even though the Victorians didn't invent spring cleaning, they did make it extremely popular. After a winter of coal fires, ashes, oil lamps and woodsmoke, everything in a house needed a good cleaning. It was time to focus on a higher level of detail. Time to brighten up the nooks and crannies, and, in the process, to turn the house topsy turvy. And there were rules. 

Mrs. Beetons Book of Household Management was written in 1861 and it gives us rules for nearly every situation.

"Begin at the top of the house and work down. Move everything out of the room. Scrub the floor. Beat the feather beds and mattresses and replace the curtains."

A place for everything and everything in its' place.

And the Golden Rule: Start at the top and then bottom out the room. Dry rooms were to be done first, and then the wet rooms. There were several opinions on which should done first. Should it be dusting or sweeping and mopping?

Throughout the year schedules have remained fairly consistent to cover all the necessary tasks. Here's one from the 1920's:

Monday-Laundry

Tuesday-Mending and Sewing

Wednesday-Silver, Pantry, Ice Box  "Afternoon Out"

Thursday- (Alternate Weeks) Living Room, Hall Stairs or Dining Room, Hall, Stairs

Friday- Bedrooms, Bath

Saturday- Kitchen, Closet, Ice Box

I like this one. It has an afternoon out and a sewing day!

I still see a lot of embroidered dishtowels in antique shops with "Days of the Week" pictures on them, but I don't think a lot of women keep such rigid housekeeping schedules now. I didn't grow up with disciplined schedules, but my mother-in-law had them. I think she shook her head at my mad-dash ways a lot of the time, but we grew to understand one another. When I was a teenager, I had a friend who could never go anywhere on Saturday mornings because that was the day they rearranged the furniture. Every Saturday morning!

My own version of Spring Cleaning is probably more like Mole's in a favorite children's book. We both work very hard until we get distracted.

The Wind In The Willows by Kenneth Grahame

The Mole had been working very hard all the morning, spring- cleaning his little home. First with brooms, then with dusters; then on ladders and steps and chairs, with a brush and a pail of whitewash; till he had dust in his throat and eyes, and splashes of whitewash all over his black fur, and an aching back and weary arms. Spring was moving in the air above and in the earth below and around him, penetrating even his dark and lowly little house with its spirit of divine discontent and longing. It was small wonder, then, that he suddenly flung down his brush on the floor, said 'Bother!' and 'O blow!' and also 'Hang spring-cleaning!' and bolted out of the house without even waiting to put on his coat. 

Deck the Halls

 Christmas decorating has officially begun! I'd like to say it is all done and the boxes are safely shuffled and stacked back into the storage room, but right now that hasn't happened. In fact, they are all over the house. Things stalled a bit because my sticky hooks just aren't sticking. That means I hang something up, admire it, and then find it back on the floor in a few hours.  

I will never have a Ralph Lauren Christmas. I love the elegance and the traditional colors and the concept of me in a tartan plaid hostess skirt welcoming all the neighbors as I twirl around the room with a tray of homemade goodies. Oh wait, maybe that is a 1950's housewife type of Christmas. I have learned from online videos that for a R.L. holiday, bright red and green are not acceptable, and that gifts should never be given in gift bags. And of course, everyone is always very low key and well behaved.  And the decorations stay where they are supposed to be.

There seem to be a lot of new/old trends this year. Paper chains are appearing everywhere. Yes, plain old paper chains like we made in grade school. I actually love paper chains. They are first cousins to buntings, which are another of my favorites. I crocheted a chain of many colors and use that with greenery. Fifteen years ago I made fabric chains and used my new sewing machine alphabets to write on them. I put names, dates, important addresses, and quotes that I liked to remember on the lengths and then buttoned them together. A lot of the fabrics were pieces of my girls' clothing when I used to sew a lot. I finally decided they weren't going to ever become a quilt. My girls are middle aged now. I still have a few of them to finish. Another project for another day.

I've heard several women say that they are decorating less this year than before. I know some who are even skipping having a tree. I can't imagine not having a tree, but I am putting up fewer decorations. I always like simple decorations. Almost everything I have for my tree comes with a story. I like one of a kind, and I have never been partial to balls and baubles. One year, when I was about ten years old, my mom decided to change the way she decorated our tree. The only things on it were blue and silver balls. I hated it. I think I cried. When I was a House Mom for five Christmases, I decorated the big tree with colorful and unbreakable balls. That was the only sensible way to go. 

When we were decorating our tree this year, John wanted to know where the glass balls were. His favorite trees are the ones with balls, tinsel, and colored bubble lights. I shouldn't have been surprised by that. When I first visited his house there was an almost life-sized Santa riding a rocking horse in his front room. It wasn't Christmas time. He stayed there year-round. We now have a tree in our lower level tv room that stays up all year. And it is mostly colorful round decorations. He loves it. I always wonder why it is there, but now I decorate it for the seasons.

Here is my style of Christmas decor:

And here is John's:

(This is not our home. Abbie's Pizza in Bondurant, Iowa)

 When John and I combined households six years ago, we realized right away that we had more things than we had room to keep. I had already downsized several times, but I don't think he and his first wife had ever let anything go. We realized right away that many, many items needed to move on to family, or friends, thrift shop donations, the end of the driveway, or the dumpster. I rented a small booth at a local antique mall and started pricing our "treasures". My booth has never had a theme or been truly staged. But now, finally, I am running low on inventory. Except for some handcrafted items that I've made, (and a few storage pieces) I have never bought something just to put in the booth. My dilemma is this--is it time to get serious and put more money and personality into this space or is it time to let it go?

 

I'm really not much of a shopper. I lose interest pretty quickly in department stores. Clothes shopping doesn't excite me at all.  I do love to look at everything in big box stores. I want to see all the books, the toys, the holiday decorations and the housewares. I enjoy craft and fabric stores even though there are getting to be fewer and fewer of them. Cute little boutiques and garage sales make me nervous because I always feel obligated to buy something even if I don't want anything. But thrift stores are different.

 

 I am afraid that I may have been bitten by the dangerous insect called the "Thrift Store Bug". Twice a week I attend a Pilates class unless I talk myself out of it. I have just discovered that there are at least six thrift stores between my class and my home. My initial plan was to buy items to resell at a profit. So, I have been cruising the aisles the past few days. I found a vintage nativity set from Italy. FOR ME. Two old tin containers jumped into my cart. FOR ME. A tiny suitcase FOR ME. Three white baby dresses FOR ME. I may have to rethink this plan.

And So It Begins

 

Today I started decorating for fall. This is early for me. I usually put summer away and take some time before I begin with Halloween after the first of October. I am planning to entertain a group of friends on the first, so I am starting now. It's a slow start. We are still expecting some temperatures in the 90's this week, so I don't feel autumn crispness. 

It was my turn to host the same ladies in February, but we had to cancel three times because of weather and illness. By the third time I was so done with it. I was over prepared and under inspired. I had gone through all my Valentine decorating, on to St. Paddy's and finished up with Easter. I don't usually decorate a lot for all the holidays. I do like to have some handmade and vintage items for the major ones. And I like to reuse and repurpose my old decorations. Earlier today this wreath was still on the door for summer. I started adding to it, and with a little ribbon it was transformed. I may add a few more things to it as I unpack the Halloween boxes.

My favorite items for decorating are garlands, buntings and banners. They are very English and I really enjoy finding and making them. I have more of them now than I have available spaces. I guess that is why this one hangs on the shower curtain!

My least favorite thing is that I will be wearing glitter for the next few months. No matter how careful I try to be, I somehow manage to sparkle at this time of year.

I don't really entertain much anymore. When I do, I tend to get into a panic about it. I've never been a person that can be ready for drop in visitors. Instead, I make lists and worry, and wish I'd bought new rugs, and had enough chairs and dishes for everyone. I have downsized so much in the past few years that now I have to buy or borrow household items when I need them once or twice a year. Luckily, I know people.

 I had an acquaintance once who spontaneously invited me to visit and showed off her laundry room. It was more decorated than any room in my house and looked just like a magazine layout. We never really became friends. I don't think that's the reason why, but it may have been.

I went to Hobby Lobby today. It's not a store that I visit often, but sometimes there just isn't anywhere else to go for emergency craft supplies. For me, most of it is overwhelming. There are too many choices, and much of it isn't a style I like. And they choose not to carry anything Halloween anymore! I miss the old fabric stores.

I've written before on my thoughts on Ease, Elegance, and Economy. To these I would add Comfort. I have a house where I seem to live in every room. I do like some cuteness in a laundry room, but not so much that it isn't functional. My newest favorite saying is from a tv show: " I was made for comfort, not for speed." (Vernon Scripps, not a role model, but I do like that quote)

Mystery of the Poppy Plates

We have lived here for nearly two years. One would think that everything would be in its' place by now, but that wouldn't be true. Since I don't want to have every wall covered, many of them are still a little too bare. That isn't the way of the sun room, since it is mostly windows. There are very few walls, so I must be selective. 

I have always liked this picture, so I was happy to find a place where it fit. It's a print of an oil painting by a self taught German painter named Max Streckenbach (1865-1936) who specialized in floral still lifes. This one is called "Poppies in Vase". He painted another one that looks like the same poppies. That one is named "Poppies in Bloom". Since I didn't want my picture to feel lonely, I wanted to add a few other items I've acquired along the way, specifically two hand painted plates and a few postcards. Since I didn't have a place for them, I put them away for later. I will repeat that. I put them away for later.

Eventually, I bought a vintage shelf that John hung on the other side of the doorway. I went to get the plates because I thought I knew exactly where I had stored them. And they were not there. So the search began. I looked in all the drawers and spaces that I thought they could be. Every little box and basket around the house... The two shelves in the front hall closet... The linen closet... The laundry room cupboards...The extra boxes in the sewing room... The office closet... Then I went to the basement. I tried the storage room. And then I looked through the holiday boxes in the furnace room. I have to admit that I was on a mission, and not about to be defeated.

Finally, today I found them. For some reason, I hadn't opened the little desk right below the picture. I did open the drawer, but not the desk. I had set them in two of the little cubbies because it was the most logical place. Now they are finally on the little green shelf across the wall. And I am happy to report that I did not have to purchase more old poppy plates from the local antique mall. In desperation, I had started to look.

Unfortunately, during my poppy plate quest, I didn't find any of the other items that are still missing. I have a complete tea set, with cups and saucers for four. Somewhere. I hope to find it before next March, since it is decorated with shamrocks. I have some more framed pictures. There are various craft supplies. I know I have another antique quilt. Somewhere. There was a long hunt for my trifle bowl. I finally found two. I won't even mention the books that have gone awol. 

I blame all this on moving so many times in the past several years. A couple of moves ago, I finally started a little notebook titled "Oh, Wherever Can It Be?" I try to list all the cupboards and drawers and boxes where I might have put things. It isn't always up to date but it really helps me (sometimes) when I'm looking for something. I hadn't listed the poppy plates. That would have saved a lot of time. Live and Learn.

EASE, ELEGANCE, and ECONOMY

 

I am a big fan of Jane Austen. Even more than her books, I like her letters. Even though she was born two hundred and fifty years ago, she said a lot in her novels of contemporary nineteenth century life that still make sense today.

She wrote a letter to her sister, Cassandra, in July of 1808 that contained this passage: "In the meantime for Elegance and Ease, and Luxury...I shall eat ice and drink French wine, and be above Vulgar Economy." Jane did like a good vacation.

Many years later I read these familiar words again in another book that I happened to find. This one was printed in  1971, and was one of my favorites when I was a young wife: 

It's out of print now but used copies can still be ordered through book stores. I liked it because it was funny, yet filled with charts and schedules. I remember she said that the only thing she really liked about housekeeping was arranging red roses in crystal vases. 

The words I remember most were her opinions on ease, elegance, and economy. Basically, she said that you can never have all three at the same time. You can always have two of them, but never all. And it changes. If you want to buy something, make something, entertain someone, or just do something wild and crazy for yourself, then one of these will have to be excluded.

It's possible to plan a party with ease and elegance, but not with economy, because you will have to spend more money. You can have an elegant, economical party, but it won't be easy, because you will be doing most of the work yourself. Or you can just throw something together and make it easy and economical, but you'll be missing all those fine touches that make it elegant!

I'm not sure why this has stuck with me for fifty years, but it applies to just about every situation. I'm not sure what happened to my copy of the book, but it is worth reading more than once. I remember making some pretty elaborate schedules when my kids were small. 

Another housekeeping book I liked was this one:

For quite a while I kept my whole life on index cards. The authors' motto was "We change lives with 3 x 5's. They were two sisters, Pam and Peggy, and were hilarious. They had a tv show for a while, and I always tried to watch it. They were even keynote speakers at a convention I went to, and let me be their assistant, because I wrote them a really schmaltzy fan letter. They wrote back to me. I probably still have it somewhere. I finally got rid of all their newsletters, and instantly regretted it.

Another homemaker author I enjoyed was Peg Bracken and her "I Hate to Cook" book and "I Hate to Housekeep" book. As people can probably tell, I am drawn to the funny and the ridiculous advice books, as long as they teach me something I want to learn.

And, then, of course there is Martha Stewart, who tried to make us think that we could have the Three E's, although I never feel that economy is involved. One year I wanted to use one of her Christmas ideas, but I realized that just the ribbon would cost my entire budget. And Martha isn't funny. Impressive, but not funny.

Today, I still enjoy all the housekeeping and decorating tips, but am becoming addicted to YouTube videos. Everyone I see has a perfect life. Recently, I've been watching several of the videos called "Wise Elders Insights." They are filled with good advice for our twilight years, but not with a lot of humor. They are narrated with a very soothing voice that makes me feel like I must have known Jane Austen personally.  (I might be a little touchy since I just had a birthday!) I'm still hunting for the perfect clean your house, organize your day, be clever, and enjoy your life and laugh whenever you can information. I know it must be out there.

 I am mostly an online shopper. I love the convenience, the almost instant availability, and especially being able to shop in the middle of the night. That can be a problem since we all know that no good decisions are ever made after midnight.                                                                                                       

When I was a teen, shopping with friends was a favorite activity. In fact we used to get dressed up to go shopping. I also liked to take the entire day to shop by myself. It didn't happen often, but I always looked forward to it. As a young mom, the grandparents would watch the little ones on Friday nights so I could go to the grocery store and mall by myself. Jim worked from 6am to11pm the first few years of our marriage, so I didn't get away by myself very often. Most of the time I had a gaggle of children with me. They were usually pretty well behaved. They do still shudder at any mention of  "The Pink House", which was a needlework store I loved to visit. They didn't. It was in an old victorian house and wasn't really very child friendly. 

Most of the places I shopped were pleasant. Many of the small boutique stores would have an area for children with color books and small toys.

I've always liked the little stores, junk stores, and antique shops. It's been a long time since I spent a whole day at "The Mall". In fact I still think of our largest retail mall as new, even though it's been here for over twenty years.

I did go shopping for a while yesterday. I don't last a whole day anymore. My local craft store (JoAnn's) has closed, and I have a really hard time finding what I want at the other stores. So it wasn't my most successful trip. And, of course, now it is Christmas in July. Nearly half of the places I went have tremendous displays of Halloween and Christmas items. I am not ready yet. But, by the time I am, I already know that the items I want will be sold out.

My main objective right now is to shop from the things I already have. I already know that I will never live long enough to actually use all the things I've already accumulated. But, why is it that I never have the one item that I need?

Daily Joys and An Anniversary

As I was idly looking through past blog posts, I started reading them all. When I got back to the beginning I realized that this is my anniversary month. I started my blog in June, 2005. It was first called "The Victorian Gypsy". Twenty years ago!!! Sometimes I feel that maybe I am still writing about the same things. And then I realize that of course I am, because these are the words of my life. I've talked about things I like to do, things I like to see, things I like to make, people I have loved, houses where I've lived, and moments that broke my heart.

I keep coming back to the same stories, hopefully with a new twist. I am always looking for ways to be more organized. I always like to decorate my house with items that have a history or are handmade. I only like recipes that are quick and easy. I still procrastinate. I enjoy traveling and reliving my trips through photos. I also like to make lists, and keep notes that don't always make sense when I read them later.

There were lots of times when I didn't write. I had moments of deep grief when it was all I could do to keep going through the fog. I can see those times in the blank spaces, but I didn't want to write about them here. I need to write, but I didn't always want to share.

Before I started blogging, I had a group on Yahoo called "Living With Intention" or "IntentionalWoman". It never had a big following, but I had big plans. This was during a much busier time in my life, when I expected every day to have a happy ending. It looks like my head was full of the same stories as now! Here are a few excerpts from those writings. They were many years ago but are still relevant:

"I am concentrating right now on decluttering--my life and my head. I read that it is very important to list your complaints and clear out what you don't want. This helps us to see the things that we do want. Then list the five things that are most important to you. Make these your daily joys and try to do something every day that relates to these five.

Are you making time for these five things? I discovered that I am consistently putting the most important items at the bottom of my list--just because I think I will have time to do them eventually"

"Think of all the years passed by in which you said to yourself "I'll do it tomorrow," And how the gods have again and again granted you periods of grace of which you have not availed yourself.                                  It is time to realize that you are a member of the Universe, that you are born of Nature itself, and to know that a limit has been set to your time. Use every moment wisely, to perceive your inner refulgence, or 'twill be gone and nevermore within  your reach."          --Marcus Aurelius (Roman Emperor 161-180AD)

Perhaps this quote from his Meditations sounds a bit dark, but that is not my purpose. There seem to be a lot of books and articles lately about slowing down, taking time for your life and doing the things that really matter. After years of thinking that maybe there is something wrong with us if we can't do it all, and that we should feel guilty when we take time for ourselves, suddenly it is okay to examine our lives and concentrate on the things and people that really matter. This is good. But, it is hard to do. Some days our lives are just a series of loose ends and minor annoyances, and no matter what we do, we haven't made a difference. That's why I am trying to remind myself of my own Daily Joys--they make me glad that I am here today and that I am heading in the right direction. As a culture, we don't like to believe that our time on earth is limited, even though we are conditioned to think that we never have enough time and that we are always rushed and overscheduled. Being busy and overworked and overwhelmed makes people feel validated. We think that we are the only ones who can do our work correctly. And that is not good.

How many of us are living for tomorrow? As I look around my home and office, I see so many projects, some unstarted, many unfinished. How much time do I really think I will have to do all those wonderful crafts and quilts, collages, and dolls? When will I write the best seller that surely lives within me somewhere? Sometimes it is so hard to be realistic about the way to spend time, because the process can be as involving as the project. When I am living for tomorrow I just keep starting new things, without the joy of completion, because I am counting on having those "periods of grace"

Weekly On Wednesday

Recently, I have been trying to put my life into a notebook. I feel like I need to have it written out, so that I can just look things up. The things I need to do, want to do, forgot to do, and will never do. Do other people get this feeling, or am I living just a little bit on the wonky side of life?

There was a time that I did many things. I raised five perfect children. I was the Queen of the Carpools. I kept everyone's schedules in my head and in my planner, and mostly got them all where they needed to be. I had a job that I loved. I made and sold creative things. I volunteered. I wasn't much of a cook, but I kept them all fed. Most of that was my husband's department. After all, we owned a restaurant. No one starved.

Now I have lots of time, and less to do. I feel like I am frittering it away because I don't know where the time goes. I just know that it goes much too quickly. That's why I'm working on the (book!) notebook. Throughout my life, I have kept several notebooks and journals, but purely in a disorganized, mismanaged way. Now I am going through these notebooks, and trying to make them all more coherent.  It may not happen as I plan. I have noticed that my thoughts haven't changed a lot in half a century of writing. I'm not sure if that is good or bad. I like the same things and I have the same faults and values. I am basically the same as I was as a young woman, except on the outside. (And that's another story.)

And that is one of the reasons I am going through all the writings. I  have mentioned before that I like to follow rules. But I have discovered that I am really not too good at following routines. When a routine changes, either for the better or the worst, everything falls apart. And then I need to make a new routine.

 I knew right where things were in the last six houses that I lived in. I love to label things and put them where they belong. In my favorite house I had the best cupboard ever. I bought it at an auction and it had 119 drawers. Unfortunately, it was too big for the room. We had to modify it into two pieces with shelves at the ends. And then we had it built in so I couldn't take it when I moved. That was supposed to be my forever home, but I have moved four times since then. I will always miss that house. I had over 300 drawers and several bookcases. I felt very organized.

John and I moved more than a year ago. We plan to be here until we are even more old and feeble. I love this house. It is a good place for us. We downsized a lot, which was a good plan. However, I am still looking for things. I used to know exactly where my Irish tea set was. And the battery charger to my dremel craft tool. And my spare set of car keys. And the notebook that listed what was in all my little drawers and boxes.  And all of my craft supplies. But now, there is chaos. Our lives have slowed down a lot but the days haven't and every day ends before I feel that I have conquered that chaos.

I still have a few of my labeled drawers. One is metal and I know John doesn't like it. But I think it's charming in an industrial sort of way.

Most of my things are in small boxes and drawers now, and I spend way too much time trying to find what I need. 

My dream is still to find the perfect cupboard again even though I know my dream should be to get rid of the things I like to put into drawers.

Happy Valentine's Day

You'd never know the thoughts that grow

Within this heart of mine

Unless I told you in this way

My charming Valentine

I seldom entertain. But every once in a while, it is my turn and I go into a frenzy of getting ready. Months ago I decided it would be a good time to have our Questers group over in February for our monthly meeting and to see the house. Christmas would be put away and everything would look nice and well behaved after the holiday. It is not a secret that I am not a "just drop in anytime" kind of homemaker. If I don't know you are stopping by, I am very likely to have a mountain of some kind of project going on. Or I may be in my jammies, drinking tea and eating bon bons. But if I plan something, I want it to be perfect, at least in my head, if not in my house. 

We have had a very temperate winter here. Hardly anything you could call winter weather at all, especially for Iowa. But on the first Wednesday of February we had ice. Enough to make us all stay inside if we had any sense at all. So of course, my little meeting was cancelled. We moved it to the next Wednesday. So, naturally, we had a snow storm. And we cancelled again. I am trying one more time. Next week will be my post Valentine party with hearts and flowers that have been around just a little bit too long! And maybe a few St. Paddy's touches and Easter decor thrown in just for good measure.

My friends are lovely ladies but I am just a little intimidated by their beautiful houses and amazing antique collections. Questers is an international group that "keep history alive by supporting preservation, restoration, and education."  Small chapter groups meet once a month, and always have a program. Everyone shares a love of antiques and historical items.

 I grew up in a house filled with antiques and have collected a lot in the past. But I have moved many times in the last several years. Each time I have pared things down more and more. This last time we got rid of tons of stuff. I do not exaggerate. Of course, now I ask myself why I didn't keep the extra silverware? And enough dishes? And maybe a tablecloth? And more chairs? And all the cute, quirky, interesting items that used to be on my shelves and hang on my walls? I think I stay awake at night lately
wondering if my house is boring.

I'm not sure what happened here. This started out to be a post about the history of valentines. I have no discipline. No discipline at all.  

You'd never know the thoughts that grow

Within this heart of mine

January-The Good Madness

I am not depressed. I am not bored, or sad, or miserable. But I seem to have caught a slight case of the January Crankies. And I'm afraid that they come with a side of Crabbiness. And they are topped with a great big dollop of The Blahs. I'm really not sure why, because January is a month that I enjoy. I like the slower pace. I like to make lists, and to start new calendars. I like putting Christmas away, and enjoying the empty spaces before I start to decorate for another holiday.

But this year, none of that is working. I go shopping because I want something different. But then I just walk around the stores and come home with nothing, because nothing is what appeals to me most. I want to make wonderful meals, but I don't want to think about food. I feel ready to start that January fitness program, but lately my body feels better when I don't exercise. I want to start new creative projects, but not just yet. I have books to read, but none of them is the right one.

For several years, I have picked a word of the year. Some of my words have been Discover, Intention, Create, Magic, Wonder, Positivity, Organize, Mindfulness, and Minimize. This year my word is Curate, but I am starting to think it should be Wonky.

Maybe I have just needed this time to hibernate and recharge. And also to nap. I have always thrived on late nights and coffee. I notice I don't recover as well as I used to. Maybe this is my year to re-evaluate and change some of my goals. I can feel a tiny, little list forming in my head. All is well.

UNDECORATING

 The Twelve Days of Christmas are officially over on January the sixth. This is the traditional official time to put the holiday away. According to Irish custom, everything should be back to normal by that day. If it is all packed away by Epiphany, that brings good luck. I am all about the customs that promise luck.

I've been undecorating for the past several days. I saved the tree for today. I know a lot of people do it earlier, but I think it looks a little forlorn,  now that it is ready to be put downstairs in the storage area with all the boxes. Some want everything gone by December 26th. Since our celebrations are usually later, I don't think I could ever handle that. And to me, it just feels like much too soon. I really enjoy the decorations. I also enjoy the undecorating. I like packing every thing away in small boxes and big totes. I wrap a lot of the ornaments in tissue for safekeeping, and because it feels like a surprise when it's time to unwrap them. I enjoy that I have such a variety of ornaments, ranging from handmade for my first tree over fifty years ago, to ornaments from friends, and from places we've traveled, and ones that John and I have collected. This was our sixth Christmas together. Our decorated tree contains a lifetime story.

One thing left to do on January 6th is to put all the small nativity sets away. The Epiphany is the day to celebrate the arrival of the Three Kings. They are also called the Magi or Three Wise Men. It just doesn't seem right to put them away any earlier.

Another Irish custom that I've discovered is Nollaig Na mBan. This means "Little Christmas" or "Women's Christmas". Since January 6 is the end of all the Christmas cooking and decorating and undecorating, it's time for the women to finally take the day off. Organize a women's party or just a cup of tea and a visit with a friend.

A Fable

Once upon a time there was a girl. One day she had an idea. It was a marvelous idea. She was excited by this idea and wanted to keep it forever. But she was so busy, and didn't have time to share. she wrapped it up in a pretty box with a big bow and put it in a closet. Safe and sound, she sighed with relief, because now that idea was there whenever she was ready for it.

Life continued on, as it does. Soon she had another idea. This one was even better, so she put it in another box. This was a bigger box, with shiny paper, and gold ribbon. Years went by, and she kept saving her ideas. Things to make, stories to write, things to do, and things to think about were all put away in boxes in her closet. Eventually she needed more space, so she transferred all the boxes into a bigger room. She marveled at how all the boxes were different. There were beautiful boxes with big shiny bows, brown boxes with string, and even several that weren't much more than scribbled words on a tiny parcel. Some she remembered, and some she did not. But, luckily, they were all packed away. And so she went on with her life, secure in her mind that someday, all these wonderful gifts would be opened.

It's not that she wasn't busy. She grew from a girl, to a woman, from a mother to a grandmother. Her life was full of joy and abundance. At other times it was filled with sorrow, and unfathomable grief. At times it went slowly, and at other times she could barely turn around before another year was gone.

Eventually she began to notice that her ideas were starting to show up in other places. She didn't understand, because she knew that they were all locked up in her secret hiding place. But it happened more and more. She was confused because she knew those were her thoughts. Finally she decided it was time to open the boxes and put her wonderful plans into action.

She picked a sunshiny day for her mission, but the sun didn't last. She opened the nearest box and it was completely empty. She turned it upside down and shook it, but it was still empty. How odd, she thought to herself. She picked another one. It was round with amethyst paper and silver stars. She was sure it was probably a good one. Empty again, except for a tiny bit of star shaped glitter. Now she was starting to worry, and tore through all the other boxes, finding nothing but a little more glitter and plain old dust. Paper and ribbons of every color were all around. The little room seemed to be bursting with them.

She was despondent. What had happened to all her beautiful ideas? 

And then she had one more idea and decided to open a Ribbon store. She lived happily ever after, selling ribbons and dreams. She would always give this advice to all her visitors--"Don't tie them too tightly and be sure to use them up".

NOT QUITE THE END

Every fable needs a moral. Remember that our great ideas are not really our own. They are floating around in the universe, waiting for some one to grab them. If you wait too long, they will find someone else.  Don't let that happen.

 So many times in my life I have considered something, and then watched as another person turned it into a successful venture. I'm not nearly as ambitious as I used to be, but I am trying now to use the things that I have been keeping in boxes and in my head.  This little story of boxes of ideas first appeared to me almost half a life ago. And now I have finally written it down.

 

75 at 75--Part 2

 As promised, here is the second part of my helpful hints and useless information. As a disclaimer, I have to say that maybe I haven't actually accomplished all of these. But I am on the path.

38. Make a plan to visit somewhere that you have always wanted to go. It could be a country or a bookstore.

39. Work on a memoir, or even a scrapbook. 

40. Keep some records of the past, but don't save everything. 

41. Read the book "Swedish Death Cleaning." Sounds dismal but it isn't. Years ago, when I was a teen, I liked a novel that featured two spinster sisters who made sure to leave their house 'in dying order' whenever they left. I can't remember the name, and I wonder if they went out much.

42. Hang your pictures, but not too many. Every wall in my house used to look like a gallery wall. Now I'm trying to be a bit more minimalistic. The struggle is real.

43.  Have something you really believe is true, but be open to other people's beliefs too.

44. Try to learn the correct way to do things, but then make adjustments. This is true in the kitchen and in life.

45. Have a regular bedtime. For me, this is one of the hardest things ever.

46.  Get up before everyone else, even if it is only to have coffee.

47.  Make a book of little family stories.

48.  Have a  little space that is just your own.

49.  Visit your happy place. Mine has always been a bookstore. Especially the ones where nobody talks to me. And a coffee bar is a plus.

50.  Have something that you do everyday.

51. Rituals are important. Especially little ones.

52.  Pick a goal. Every day do something that gets you a little bit closer to it.

53.  Do something that scares you. And then remind yourself that you never have to do it again.

54.  Take your turn. I saw a sign on a narrow road near my house that says "Take turns". I love it. It sounds so much like signs I've seen in England.

55.  Only compare yourself to yourself.

56. Take enough photos.

57. Have a favorite:  place, book, food.

58.  Always try new things.  This applies to places, books, and food.

59.  Compliments can make a person's day. Be generous with your kind words.

60.  When you have a brilliant idea, write it down right away. 

61.  Keep a small notebook with you and on your nightstand. It's amazing how quickly those brilliant ideas can disappear!

62.  Don't be afraid to love with your whole heart.

63.  Don't feel like you need to swear. It has become the popular mode of conversation. I like to save my obscenities for the times those words are really necessary.

64.  Re-read a favorite book from your childhood. It's good to see it as an adult.

65.  Become an expert at something. It's your choice. I've heard that you become an expert after doing something 1000 times. Or 10,000 times. You will know.

66.  Mise en place. This French culinary term means to gather all your ingredients and to have everything in place before you begin. I think it can be used in many other situations. Not just cooking.

67.  Leave a legacy. And I don't mean money.

68.  Three ring binders and sheet protectors can really be useful for random organizing.

69.  Start sending cards to people again. Especially for no reason.

70.  I think we should all decorate with buntings and garlands. There is nothing quite so festive.

71.  I got through the saddest times by telling myself "Don't think. Don't think" when I was with other people. And then I fell apart whenever I needed to. Probably not the best advice, but it worked.

72.  The words I've hated the most are "You're so strong".

73.  Using white out tape in a calendar or address book is a genius idea. I don't know why I never thought of it sooner. (Thanks Tricia.)

74.  Always, Always tell your people that you love them.

75.  My favorite quote. I think it is from Cinderella.

Have courage and be kind.

Where there is kindness, there is goodness

And where there is goodness, there is magic.

Happy Anniversary

 

Today is our fourth wedding anniversary. Time has really gone by quickly, especially since I am counting each year as ten. That way, we can have our Fiftieth next year and have a party! After that, I will go back to just one year at a time, and maybe we make it to our 75th. I'll be 95 so that's not impossible. Of course, I was never very proficient with math.

A lot has happened in our few years together. Our biggest project has been moving. It took John a long time to decide to leave his beloved acreage in "God's Country." He lived there thirty three years and has lots of wonderful memories. We only moved a few miles away, and I think he really appreciates that everything is familiar. My man is a creature of habit. But there is still enough of the adventurer in him to keep me surprised. Essential to a marriage, I always think. We are a good fit,  We never would have considered that we would end up together when we first met many years ago, but I am so grateful and happy that he came into my life. 

We closed on our new house while I was still on vacation, so he started moving in first. A few days after I got home, the movers came and we started staying here. Everything has gone slowly. Moving day was the only day of torrential rain that we had all summer. We needed it, but it did make things a little more difficult. We ended up moving a lot of the small things ourselves. This happens every time, and I always say I will never do it again. But I don't seem to learn. It's not just that it was a house. We also had four outbuildings. We found all sorts of stuff that he had no idea he even had.

Our other house hasn't sold yet, so we have had time to do this slowly. The plan was to not move anything we didn't want to keep. There has been lots of selling and donating, and putting free stuff out on the driveway. People really will take anything if it is free. Almost everything is moved now, but we still have one attic to go through. As the house has emptied, I have become even more aware of how much storage we really had. It is an old farm house, the kind with nooks and crannies, and rooms behind rooms. Lots of surprises in that house, and I have already said how I think surprises are necessary. Unfortunately, most of the people looking at houses right now don't appreciate the value of an old house. Many people want new and open, and none of the homey touches old houses do so well.  I will miss it, and I will especially miss my little cottage, which John built for me because he knew it was difficult to take over another woman's house. Have I said the man is a treasure?

Epiphany

 

This is January Sixth, the Feast of Epiphany. It marks the day that the Three Wise Men visited the Christ Child with gifts of frankincense, myrhh, and gold. It also is the final day of the Twelve Days of Christmas. 

Traditionally this is the day to remove holiday decorations from the house.  Sometimes I actually do it on the sixth. It is supposed to bring good luck. Some years, especially when I had a real tree, I would take down the decorations as soon after Christmas as possible. Now we've gone artificial, so there isn't such a rush.

This year I removed garlands, and wreaths, and all decor except Nativities and the tree, earlier and finished with the tree today. Unfortunately, it won't all be put away until tomorrow, so I am hoping that good luck is still available.

The holidays happened without any Christmas posts. I have no excuses.

This is an unusual cardboard nativity. It folds away into a box the size of a gameboard. Everything is undecorated now except for a few little snowmen. It's time to get the house back in order. Another definition of epiphany is "to recognize the true nature of something and see it for what it really is."  I seem to have a lot of epiphanies in January. I really do like these days after Christmas when I feel like there is lots of time for everything. Of course, it doesn't last, and everything gets busy again.

Happy New Year to one and to all, and may you all have epiphanies, both great and small.