Hello, Hello

 

The telephone was invented just one hundred and fifty years ago. Alexander Graham Bell was originally trying to find a way to make the telegraph system work better. 

How much have times changed? I remember watching "The Walton's" tv show, which was set in the 1930's. I think that only the general store in their little mountain town had a telephone. Other tv shows often had people listening in on party lines as part of the plot. Often, several families shared. When I was a child, I remember sharing a line with first two neighbors, and then with one other family. There was always a click if the neighbors picked up the phone and you would know if they were listening. Having only a two-party line seemed pretty impressive.  As a young teen, I had my own phone. It was a blue princess design. I also got my own private line. Not because we were wealthy, but because my dad had a lot of business calls when he was at home in the evenings. He really didn't like it when the phone lines were tied up when he was waiting on or wanting to make a call. My dad would have loved having a cell phone.

Phone calls were ten cents when you used a phone booth. Our moms always made sure that we had a dime in case we needed to call home. And that was really only for emergencies or if you were going to be late! Just imagine, we could be gone for hours with no one knowing where we were. Just as long as we were home by curfew! 

When I was a young mom, I had a wall phone in the kitchen with an extra long cord. I could do all sorts of things while I talked to my other mom friends. We all felt liberated. A few years later, I worked in a hospital as a telephone operator, patient information clerk, and for the doctors' answering service. After that experience, I hardly talked on the phone at all. 

The first cell phones became available in 1973 but weren't commercially released until 1983. They were at least 10 inches long,  weighed two and a half pounds and were about the size of a brick. After being charged for ten hours they only worked for half an hour. They improved radically over the next several years.

I really don't remember when I got my first cell phone. I know I resisted for several years. I didn't like the idea that someone could contact me at any moment of the night or day. When I did get my first phone, I didn't even give my number out. Now, just like nearly everyone else, I feel totally discombobulated if I forget my phone!

Phones today are used for so much more than just talking. Most people spend a lot more time texting. I'm not good at it. I still text in complete sentences that are grammatically correct. But I do love to get text messages and emails. Then I don't have to actually answer the phone. Am I the only one?

Doom Scrolling is now a thing. Why check your phone just to make sure that you get all of the bad news? I suppose this is also part of the fear of missing out. Do we really need to know everything?

 Today the average person checks their phone about 150 times a day. (When I checked this information, the number varied between 144 and 200!) This is an average. I know I am saying "Not Me", but many people do use their phones beyond that. I look around at restaurants and there is usually at least one person at each table using a phone. Sometimes all of them are, and there is no conversation at all. I see people in grocery stores verifying their entire orders with someone at home. Waiting in line means checking your phone. I have heard an unlimited number of very private conversations while out and about. For some reason, the talkers must think that we don't hear them.

Thirty-three states now have legislation against phone use while driving. It's been a long time, but this is a trend that needs to continue. Some parents are starting to re-think the idea of giving phones to very young children. Is it time to make more changes?

Sun In The Morning or The Moon at Night

 

Are you a morning person or a night person? As much as I would like to be a morning lark, I am very much a night owl. I would love to wake up, have my coffee outdoors as the sun rises, and maybe do a little Yoga or Pilates as I start my day. But that is never going to happen. Instead, I set two alarms and stumble to the coffee pot and wrap up in a warm blanket. That's on the days that I have to leave the house to be somewhere. On the other days I don't have an established time to wake up anymore. I was born to be retired.

I've always loved to stay up late. As a child I would often read or write in my journal late at night. When I first moved away from home, I would leave my dorm room and spend time in the common area reading or listening to music as my room mates slept. When my own children were young, I would stay up late to listen to the silence and to work on projects that couldn't get done during the day. I admit that I spent some time dozing on the couch while my little ones watched Sesame Street.

When working a "regular job" I had all sorts of hours, ranging from punching a time clock and starting my workday at 5:30 a.m, to working a night shift that ended at 5 in the morning. As a fraternity house mom, I was always up and dressed by 8 a.m. even though I usually didn't even try to go to sleep until a couple of hours past midnight when the party goers came home.

Most of my life I have gone to bed with a book. I would read until I fell asleep and dropped it on the floor. That doesn't work as well with a Kindle. I don't do that anymore because John is a light sleeper and the light would certainly keep him awake. My first husband went to bed at 7:00 and got up at 3:30 a.m. He could sleep through anything except a quiet room. In fact, he listened to the radio every night until I turned it off when he went to work. 

I used to have the strangest dreams when our radio was on the BBC World news programs at night. And then, when I woke up, I often learned they were true. Dreams can last thirty to forty minutes. I can wake up and then go back to the same dream. When I was young, I would have recurring nightmares. That hasn't happened for a long time and I don't miss it.

I try every night to be in bed by midnight, but I seldom make it. If I go to bed too early, I'm not able to sleep. I fret and worry and try to solve the problems of the world or redecorate the house. If I wait until I am tired, then I can fall asleep in five minutes. I still love that quiet time when there isn't any noise in the house. I have heard of people who spend time "going through their thoughts" before sleeping. I suppose this is a kind of mental journaling. It would be a good time to decompress, consolidate, and make a space for closing the day. I may try it. It's probably much better than trying to fix unsolvable world problems.

The majority of adults need seven to nine hours of sleep. There are short sleepers--those who need six or fewer. Martha Stewart has said she only needs three or four hours of sleep a night. She also does Pilates four times a week. I just read her daily routine and now I need a nap. 

Fun Fact: Dolphins and some birds have unihemispheric sleep. That mean that half of their brain sleeps while the other half is awake.

Time Marches On

When is it time to start worrying about aging? I remember when I turned 50 and wrote an article I called "The Fifties Queen" about the ways people's attitude towards women changed. It was actually published on an author's website. (Jennifer Louden, who has written several books.) I thought for a while that would be a huge turning point in my life as a writer.  Obviously, it wasn't because it was twenty-six years ago!

I used to work most often with people who were younger than me. It seemed that as soon as the subject of age came up, I felt like co-workers treated me differently.  I learned that fifty is the age when many women think they are becoming invisible. Suddenly, it seems like your opinions don't matter as much.

Excerpt from The 50's Queen:

"Things change when you are fifty. You are suddenly in another age bracket in surveys. You are no longer the young mother, and you don't feel quite old enough to be wise. Doctors study your charts a little bit more and suddenly start ordering tests just to have a baseline. Hormone therapy is recommended as the immediate cure to any problems that you have now or may have sometime in the distant (or not so distant) future. Every question seems to have same answer-that you are fifty now, and things will be different. If you lose or forget about anything, it is suddenly attributed to your age, even if you have been losing and forgetting things for years."

One of the biggest jolts for me at fifty, was when my mom called to tell me that there was a big sale on underwear at a local department store. "Big, white, cool, and loose" she said. "Just the way WE like them." I was crushed. It was one of those moments when time stood still. She then went on to say that my younger sisters wouldn't be interested, but of course I would. It was a defining moment of my womanhood. I started asking everyone what kind of underwear they bought. I wore sexy bikini panties way longer than I probably should have, just because I didn't want to give in to reality. Now that I am older and wiser, I believe in comfort.

I am still losing and forgetting things, but now my friends and I know that it is because we really are getting older. And sometimes we wonder if our absent-minded foibles are just innocent mistakes or symptoms of something more serious. John and I are watching one another and putting a reminder by our exit door. He is a few years older than I am, so I have been teasing him about things that happen here. He has been known to go out to restaurants in his house slippers instead of his outside shoes. He has also forgotten his wallet more than once. He wears a hearing aid when he wants to and pretends he is listening to me the rest of the time. Sometimes we will miss an exit when driving. I am the one who forgets and loses my phone the most often. Just last night I came home from a funeral visitation and realized that my shirt was inside out. There was a washing instruction tag on one side seam, and a size tag for all the world to see. And of course, all the raw edges of the seams. It's a good thing we have one another for our old age.

WHAT I'M READING: I just started Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke. It is called a satirical and dark thriller about a trad-wife influencer. I haven't gotten very far yet and am reading it for an online book club.

TRADITIONS

Our country has often been compared to a melting pot. It's filled with many cultures, customs, and traditions.  A lot of our citizens have kept the traditions alive from their native histories. Especially now, with genealogical information readily available, it is easy to celebrate our histories. We can add or eliminate what we want. 

Even though I can trace my family tree through many generations, my own family never thought of themselves as belonging to a specific background. So as I grew, I was often one to pick and choose. I don't really remember a lot of specific traditions, except for an Easter lamb cake that a favorite aunt would make and bring to our house. It wasn't religious. My religion was always whatever the neighbors were. I think they may have thought it was an obligation to see that I got to church. It must have worked. By the time I was an adult, I had been baptized three times. While I chose the one I thought I wanted to stick with, I've always been referred to as a "convert"

I think it's wonderful how families have specific foods and food traditions for the holidays, but ours was always pretty generic.

I married into an Irish family and have always loved the history and traditions. As I raised my family we took a lot of the music, literature, food, and customs as our own.

My own bloodline is primarily English, with a little bit of French, German, Swiss, Irish, and Scandinavian. I always wanted to be something exotic, but I guess the English bit says a lot about who I am. Anyone for tea?

Lately I have been reading about the Swedish system "Lagom". Some books say that Lagom is the most Swedish word there is. It means "not too little, but not too much". It is also living in harmony, with a steady balance and moderation in all things. It may be a little like Marie Kondo's "spark joy", but it isn't all about simplifying and living with the minimal. It's more about choosing what you need.

I was recently having lunch with a friend and I noticed that she never completely finished her food. Since I've always been a member of The Clean Plate Club, I asked her why she always left part of her meal. She told me she was taught that you should always leave something to show that you had eaten enough, and that plenty of food was served to satisfy you. I had never heard that before, but I thought that must be an example of Lagom. Oh, and she is Swedish.

So once again, I think I am becoming a convert.

I'd love to hear about any family traditions that you have. 

Reading: I am still reading books my Lindsey Davis. I just finished "Pandora's Boy".

READING AND WRITING

 I was completely and totally mesmerized by this novel. I started to read it a few nights ago and finished it the next day. (304 pages). It is a book that will stay with me. Basically, it is about a woman in her seventies who has been writing letters to people for most of her life. The book covers the correspondence between 2012 and 2022. There are letters to people she loves and has loved, people she admires, people she is upset with, people she never got along with at all, and people she has never met. She writes to authors to let them know what she thinks of their books. Almost everyone answers her letters. Sometimes a new friendship starts. That's it. The entire book is letters, except for a few emails. I have learned this is called an epistolary. I may have already known that. It is like reading some one's diary, but maybe with permission. Little by little we discover the joys and sorrows and regrets of her life, and our own. There are parts of this book that I really identify with, but most of it is very different than the person I am. I do love the way she organizes her life, and sits at her desk with her favorite pens and paper and beautiful penmanship. She and her dearest friend always close their letters by adding the name of whatever book they are reading.

One of the reasons that I am so taken with this book, is that I recently resolved to start writing letters again. A few weeks ago, I copied a "pledge" to write at least one letter every Sunday. I haven't gotten very far with it yet, but I have hope.

When I was younger, I wrote a lot of letters, and almost always had a penpal. For most of my teen years, I wrote to a girl in India. Her name was Aruna, and we sent each other little gifts. She always wanted me to come visit. And then we both grew up and grew apart. I had another pen friend from the east coast. She was named Faith and seemed to live a life that was much wilder and adventurous than mine. Maybe it was real, but I never knew. She would sneak out of her house at night, and meet up with older boys, and then send me long letters about them. Perhaps she writes steamy novels about them now. I had a lot more in common with Aruna. I had many friends that I kept in touch with through letters for a long time. Now we sometimes email or communicate through Facebook. Not as much as I want to, though. I regret the times I didn't write when I should have.  Now that I have decided to write again, maybe I will be able to do that. I've bought real stationery and may try fountain pens again. And sealing wax. Oh, the possibilities. 

Wearin' of the Green

 

It's almost time for St. Patrick's Day, which is an American holiday where everyone is Irish. And if you're not, then you should be. St. Paddy's Day was a holy day in Ireland, to honor St. Patrick, who actually wasn't Irish at all. He was originally from Britain and from a wealthy family. As the story goes, he was kidnapped by Irish pirates as a young man and ended up in pagan Ireland. He eventually became a missionary and Bishop in the Christian church. Legend tells us that he used a shamrock to teach the concept of the Trinity. He is also said to be responsible for driving all of the snakes out of Ireland.  He is thought to have died on March 17, in the year 470 or 471. That became his Feast Day. It didn't become a public holiday until 1901. It remained a religious day for many years. The pubs were even kept closed on March 17 until 1970. The first official government sponsored St. Pat's Festival was in 1995 in Dublin. The original purpose was to promote tourism and boost the economy.

There is a very large Irish population in the United States, and most of them love to celebrate this day. It is customary to wear at least a little something green. That will keep you from getting pinched by a leprechaun. It's better to be safe than sorry.

The first Irish parade that was recorded in North America was in New York City in 1762. Irish soldiers in the British army marched to Irish music on March 17 to honor their heritage. Now there are parades on this day all over the world.

In my own family, my children claim to be nearly one hundred percent Irish. That isn't possible since Ancestry.com claims that only  about six percent of my blood is green. The rest they got from their dad. We all know just about every Irish song, so I'm sure that qualifies. And I think every one of us has an Irish sense of humor.

Bright and Balanced

I have a "collection" of articles and journal thoughts that I have written over the years. Sometimes I go through them when I am looking for ideas. A lot of them were first written over twenty five years ago (and more) when my life was much busier and more complicated. Now they are out of date and have to be modified a bit if I want to use them. An example is my article about my first new cell phone. Most of my writings during those busy years was about organizing, procrastinating, housekeeping, families, holidays, and keeping everything in balance. I guess I still like to write about a lot of those subjects, but my perspective is a lot different now. My opinions are still probably about the same.

A favorite article was about balance. It was inspired by a visit to a coffee shop with a friend. This was so long ago that the offerings were just plain old coffee instead of all the fancy concoctions that we see now. The pots were labeled with the flavor and descriptions. The first one I saw was Vivid and Vibrant. It sounded exciting and mysterious. My friend went right to the brew labeled Rich and Robust. We had just been discussing finances and health, so I thought that was a perfect choice for her. After a little thought, I decided on Bright and Balanced.

Balance has always been one of my favorite words. I have a tendency towards balance in whatever I do. I never want too much of one thing or not enough of another. I've always felt more even when there is balance in my life. 

But, I have learned that it isn't always easy to keep that balance. Sometimes, our lives just get too busy. I have found myself going in too many directions at once and trying to accomplish too much. These are the times when we feel like we are trying to juggle bricks and feathers. No matter what we do it is hard to keep our lives at an even keel.

For me there are some classic hints when things begin to tip too far in one direction. Does this sound familiar? Are you suddenly missing appointments even when you've written them down? Or have you stopped writing things down, and just trust your memory? I can never do that. A few days ago, I completely forgot an afternoon with my crafting group that I had really been looking forward to. I hadn't done much of anything for several weeks because of my dreaded battle with shingles. They all had a lovely time without me but did make a darling bird's nest on a spring for me. I didn't get to have any of the treats though. I heard it was a very fancy tea party.

Perhaps you've noticed that you are misplacing your keys, or locking them in your car. If so, that is a sure sign that your life has gotten too complicated and out of balance. Take a deep breath, now e-x-h-a-l-e, and decide what you can eliminate.

When you add something new to your life, do you also give up something? Or do you keep squeezing in one more thing, one more appointment, one more event? Of course you do. We all want it all, and we want it all right now. Unfortunately, that isn't what we usually get.

Instead we may get tired and discouraged, because we are trying to handle too many things at once. If this sounds familiar, then it's time to start putting balance back into your life. Get some extra keys made and keep copies of your passwords and card numbers where you can get to them. I like to disguise them as phone numbers in my address book.

My life is so simple and uncomplicated now compared to how it used to be. I sometimes wonder if feeling unbalanced is because we are getting older and not because we are too busy. I'm not even going to mention that someone who shall remain nameless forgot to change from his slippers to his shoes when we went out to dinner a few nights ago. I might be getting punished for sharing that. I just lost half of this post when I tried to publish it and had to write it again. It may be too late for me to be Vivid and Vibrant.

LOVECHARMS AND POTIONS

 Today I have a few of my favorite things to share. They are gypsies, flowers, love charms, and tea. If you take the time to look at old cards and other ephemera, you will notice that these items appear often. What could be better for Valentine's week?

There are lots of superstitions and charms about love. Maybe we can try a few. Here's a card trick for you. Draw all the face cards from a deck of cards, put them in a stocking on Friday night and place the stocking under your pillow. When the sun rises on Saturday morning (Valentine's Day!) draw a card. If it's a King it means a speedy marriage. A Queen will mean no marriage at all. And a Jack is a seducer who will surely give you trouble. Diamonds are riches. Hearts mean true love, Spades are thrift, and clubs are for poverty. This is from Fontaine's Golden Wheel Fortune and Dream Book, which was published in 1862. I'm not sure the odds are very good for this one, but you take your chances. 

There are many counting rhymes. Some use cards or flowers or birds. Most of us have pulled petals off a daisy while saying "He loves me, He loves me not." Haven't we? We can get a little more dramatic with this:

He loves me.

He don't.

He'll have me.

He won't.

He would if he could, but he can't.

How about this one?

1-I love

2-I love

3-I love, I say

4-I love with all my heart

5-I cast away

6-He loves

7-She loves

8-They both love

9-He comes

10-He tarries

11-He courts

12-He marries

There are more, but you get the idea.

Many of the old sayings and charms involved flowers, birds, herbs and dreams. 

If you keep a dried stalk of yarrow, it will bring you seven years of married bliss. Nine stems will bring lasting love. If a man takes a sprig of basil from the hands of a woman he will love her forever. But, never cut parsley or you will have bad luck in love. You don't want to take that chance, so pinch it off when you need a little garnish.

If you want to make a wish, write it on a sage leaf and put it under your pillow. Sleep on it for three nights. If you dream of what you desire, then you will get it. If you don't then bury the sage.

This also works if you place lavender under your pillow. Think of your wish. You only get one chance for this one.

And finally, on the night before Valentine's Day pin five bay leaves to your pillow. Wear a freshly washed night gown and say:

Good valentine, be kind to me

In dreams let me my true love see.

And John, just to let you know, you're my cup of tea!

A Fish Story

 

Yesterday was John's birthday. He is 82. I don't know if he would want me to tell you that, but after all, this is my blog so I can say whatever I want. For his birthday we decided to get a fish. We have a picture here of Mr. Fish. This is the closest thing we have had for a pet since I have been part of this family.

We spent a lot of time discussing this and wondering if we were ready. Pet ownership, after all, is a big responsibility. I have never had a fish. Several years ago, John had a goldfish who was also named Mr. Fish. He lived several years. He seemed to have a real relationship with Mr. Fish, because there are family stories about how he would tickle Mr. Fish's belly. I guess they were very close.

We talked about the name for our new family member. John wanted Mr. Fish 2. I vetoed that because everyone should have their own name. I am Mrs. Brafford 2 but would really like to be called by my first name. I think our fish would feel the same. We decided on the name Rudolfo.

We also talked about where to put him. John wanted the coffee table. I didn't. My vote was the mantel or maybe the top of the desk. If there was going to be any belly tickling going on, I didn't want it in my direct line of vision.

So as you can see, we did not make this decision lightly. We googled and read reviews and picked a local store that sounded promising. When we got there, the building was open, but no one was there. When we went back to our car we noticed some activity next door, so we went inside. We discovered that the owner was in the middle of downsizing and wouldn't really have anything available for a few weeks. We were disappointed because we really wanted to buy local. We googled again and decided to try a big box pet store on the other side of town. This was like a pet supermarket. They had everything pet related we could think of. Everything, that is, except fishbowls!

Did you know that fishbowls are considered inhumane? I didn't. I thought that a fish would happily live in a fishbowl. Not true. Modern fish need fish tanks. And if they are goldfish then they need very big fish tanks. After hearing how terrible we were for wanting a goldfish bowl we decided to try again. The next store didn't have very good reviews but we thought we would give it a try. The reviews were right. The building was very old and dirty, but the owner was very knowledgeable about fish. Once again we heard how no one has a fishbowl anymore and that we really needed a big ugly tank. I was holding a small one that I thought might be a possibility when there was a sudden movement by our feet. I screamed and jumped as a mouse ran by, barely missing my shoe. The owner said, very nonchalantly, that he usually catches about four a day. I didn't drop the tank, which was a good thing. But by this time we decided we weren't ready to be fish parents yet.

We changed to his alternate birthday gift which was a sports jacket. We drove back across town to the big mall. We hadn't been there since John bought a suit for our wedding. He still gets online ads  from the store at least once a week. When we got there we couldn't find the store. Finally we learned that it closed a few years ago! So we tried another store and he found a perfect fit. Then we looked at the price tag, and it was over seven times our budget! That is why I never shop at the big mall!!!

One more time, across town again. He found the right jacket at the right price, and everyone was happy. We ended the day with a nice birthday dinner with family. The only problem there was a nice gift card for a movie theatre which no longer accepts them. There aren't any AMC theatres in our area anymore. Who knew? Obviously, not us.

I do hope this doesn't indicate how our year is going to be. At least my birthday is several months away.

I've always been a bit political. When I was a senior in high school, I was a Senate page in our Iowa legislature. It was a wonderful experience, and I happily missed my last school semester to be able to work at our state capitol. Our session (1967!!) was the longest one and didn't adjourn until July.  We sat on a bench and answered a bell when a senator wanted something. This ranged from taking messages to the governor and other offices, to picking up bills from the library, to getting a candy bar from the lunch room. We each had a shift in the phone room, and took phone messages to them. There was a row of phone booths where they answered their calls. This room was also where all the lobbyists hung out. There was a lot of "wheelin' and dealin' " back then, I think. We also learned a lot about the way the government worked and had weekly sessions where we went over the bills and discussed them.

Of course, there was a lot of fun too. I probably knew about all the nooks and crannies, attics, and secret tunnels in the Capitol building. It was a very innocent time, with no scandals going on that I ever knew about.

In the photo above, I am the shortest one, and I still have the same hairstyle today!

In 2010 I worked at the Legislature again. This time I was one of the telephone operators for the House. Our main job was to transfer phone calls to each of their phones. I think most of the calls went to voice mail and then it was their job to return them. We were in a separate room so I didn't get to see most of the proceedings. We did get to listen to some of the meeting though. I learned a lot about how state governments work. There is so much pressure put on the representatives and senators to vote with the party. There is much more pressure in Congress. They need to be reminded that they are the voice of the people who elected them.

I saved all the daily calendars and papers and put them into a junk journal with photos. It was an interesting way to remember moments of the session. This one was one of the shortest ones and ended after three months.

Over the years I have gone to a few political rallies and protests, but probably not as many as I should. I have so much admiration for the citizens in Minnesota right now. And even more fear. I am afraid for them, and for the immigrants, and for our country. I am afraid for the relationships and friendships that may be damaged beyond repair. I urge everyone to call their legislators and let them know what you think. They document those calls even if you don't speak to them directly.

You are allowed to say, at any point, I can't support this. Even if you did. Even if you were unsure. You can at any point say "this has gone too far." And while the best time to say that was earlier, second best time is now.

(I don't know who said this first. I have seen it several times on the internet. If you know, tell me and I will credit it.)

MORE THAN YOU PROBABLY WANT TO KNOW

For the first time in months, I have missed my self-imposed Wednesday deadline. I admit to being slightly discombobulated lately and it looks like it won't be going away very soon! 

Years ago we had the summer of chickenpox. My youngest daughter was exposed during the last few days of preschool. We began the summer with spots and calamine lotion and continued until it was time to go back to school. One by one, each of my five children started to itch. The oldest was eleven and the youngest was a baby. Each one waited out almost the full incubation period of twenty one days before they got it. That's how we made it last all summer. That was a summer I will never forget. I don't remember when I had chicken pox, but I know I was very young. 

In order to get shingles, a person must have had chicken pox at some time in their lives. The chicken pox vaccine will not completely eliminate the chance of shingles in the future, but the case will be much, much lighter.

 There is also a vaccine available for shingles and I think everyone should get it. I did, last summer. There are two doses and I got them both. Unfortunately, the virus is only 91% effective. This means that 9 % of us will win (or lose) the Shingles lottery. And yes, I am one of the (un)lucky ones.

I started to feel bad a few days before Christmas and thought I had pulled a muscle at my exercise class. It kept getting worse and soon my right side had a burning pain all the time, and intermittent stabbing with invisible shards of broken glass. I was waiting for the terrible rash I had heard about, but it didn't come.  When I was able to see the doctor I discovered that I had internal shingles (What?!?) and probably wouldn't even get a rash. No rash, but the internal variety might as well be called eternal, because it lasts longer. So far I have had 2 visits, several phone calls and taken 72 pills. I just got a refill for 6 a day for however many weeks or even months it takes to calm my nerve endings. Hopefully, this will help me to sleep. However, a side effect is brain fog. More than I usually have, so that should be interesting!

I just want to add that these poor little waifs are not my children, and the 7 on the calendar looks suspiciously like a 2. I created these images with AI. Obviously, I am still a beginner.

Everywhere a Happy Christmas

 

Everywhere, Everywhere Christmas tonight. Wishing the world a happy holiday season and joyful Christmas today.

Deck the Halls

 Christmas decorating has officially begun! I'd like to say it is all done and the boxes are safely shuffled and stacked back into the storage room, but right now that hasn't happened. In fact, they are all over the house. Things stalled a bit because my sticky hooks just aren't sticking. That means I hang something up, admire it, and then find it back on the floor in a few hours.  

I will never have a Ralph Lauren Christmas. I love the elegance and the traditional colors and the concept of me in a tartan plaid hostess skirt welcoming all the neighbors as I twirl around the room with a tray of homemade goodies. Oh wait, maybe that is a 1950's housewife type of Christmas. I have learned from online videos that for a R.L. holiday, bright red and green are not acceptable, and that gifts should never be given in gift bags. And of course, everyone is always very low key and well behaved.  And the decorations stay where they are supposed to be.

There seem to be a lot of new/old trends this year. Paper chains are appearing everywhere. Yes, plain old paper chains like we made in grade school. I actually love paper chains. They are first cousins to buntings, which are another of my favorites. I crocheted a chain of many colors and use that with greenery. Fifteen years ago I made fabric chains and used my new sewing machine alphabets to write on them. I put names, dates, important addresses, and quotes that I liked to remember on the lengths and then buttoned them together. A lot of the fabrics were pieces of my girls' clothing when I used to sew a lot. I finally decided they weren't going to ever become a quilt. My girls are middle aged now. I still have a few of them to finish. Another project for another day.

I've heard several women say that they are decorating less this year than before. I know some who are even skipping having a tree. I can't imagine not having a tree, but I am putting up fewer decorations. I always like simple decorations. Almost everything I have for my tree comes with a story. I like one of a kind, and I have never been partial to balls and baubles. One year, when I was about ten years old, my mom decided to change the way she decorated our tree. The only things on it were blue and silver balls. I hated it. I think I cried. When I was a House Mom for five Christmases, I decorated the big tree with colorful and unbreakable balls. That was the only sensible way to go. 

When we were decorating our tree this year, John wanted to know where the glass balls were. His favorite trees are the ones with balls, tinsel, and colored bubble lights. I shouldn't have been surprised by that. When I first visited his house there was an almost life-sized Santa riding a rocking horse in his front room. It wasn't Christmas time. He stayed there year-round. We now have a tree in our lower level tv room that stays up all year. And it is mostly colorful round decorations. He loves it. I always wonder why it is there, but now I decorate it for the seasons.

Here is my style of Christmas decor:

And here is John's:

(This is not our home. Abbie's Pizza in Bondurant, Iowa)

Happy Thanksgiving

 

November is best known for the Thanksgiving holiday.  Many people think of this as a simple eating marathon, but of course that isn't what it was meant to be. The first Thanksgiving was in 1621 in Plymouth, Massachusetts, and was held to celebrate a successful harvest. It was based on English fall festivals, with a Pilgrim twist. This was the one we all learned about as gradeschoolers. I had never heard of the previous celebration in Jamestown in 1619. It was actually a prayer meeting, not a feast. The next official time was called "Solemn Thanksgiving" and was celebrated in June. A solemn Thanksgiving was known as a day of "fasting and humiliation." I am thinking it was a reminder to be humble and grateful for survival. It didn't really catch on. Most of us would rather feast than fast!

President George Washington declared a National Day of Thanksgiving in 1789. Other early presidents kept it as a holiday, except for Thomas Jefferson, and John Quincy Adams because of their beliefs about the separation of church and state. It didn't become an official holiday until 1863, when President Abraham Lincoln signed a proclamation calling on the American people to unite and observe a special day of thankfulness. Since that time, it has been celebrated every year, and since 1941, has always been on the fourth Thursday of November.

Sarah Josepha Hale was the woman responsible for making this a national holiday. She was the editor of Godey's Lady's Book, which was a very popular nineteenth century lady's magazine. She wrote a novel called "Northwood" in 1827. In it she described a Thanksgiving dinner with our traditional foods. Her characters discussed why it should be a national holiday. Mrs. Hale sent letters to governors and Presidents for over thirty years (!) to actively promote a single, consistent date for Thanksgiving. Finally, in 1863, President Lincoln listened to her and reminded the war-torn nation to be grateful for the "blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies" in an official Proclamation.

Franklin Roosevelt changed the date to the third Thursday in November in 1939. He said that a longer Christmas shopping season would be better for economic recovery of the country. I'm pretty sure he was influenced by the retailers. Only 32 states accepted the new date, and finally in 1941, Congress set a fixed date of the fourth Thursday in November. I would prefer it to be the third.

Wishing everyone a happy day of peace and plenty with a reminder to us all to give thanks and be grateful. 

 When John and I combined households six years ago, we realized right away that we had more things than we had room to keep. I had already downsized several times, but I don't think he and his first wife had ever let anything go. We realized right away that many, many items needed to move on to family, or friends, thrift shop donations, the end of the driveway, or the dumpster. I rented a small booth at a local antique mall and started pricing our "treasures". My booth has never had a theme or been truly staged. But now, finally, I am running low on inventory. Except for some handcrafted items that I've made, (and a few storage pieces) I have never bought something just to put in the booth. My dilemma is this--is it time to get serious and put more money and personality into this space or is it time to let it go?

 

I'm really not much of a shopper. I lose interest pretty quickly in department stores. Clothes shopping doesn't excite me at all.  I do love to look at everything in big box stores. I want to see all the books, the toys, the holiday decorations and the housewares. I enjoy craft and fabric stores even though there are getting to be fewer and fewer of them. Cute little boutiques and garage sales make me nervous because I always feel obligated to buy something even if I don't want anything. But thrift stores are different.

 

 I am afraid that I may have been bitten by the dangerous insect called the "Thrift Store Bug". Twice a week I attend a Pilates class unless I talk myself out of it. I have just discovered that there are at least six thrift stores between my class and my home. My initial plan was to buy items to resell at a profit. So, I have been cruising the aisles the past few days. I found a vintage nativity set from Italy. FOR ME. Two old tin containers jumped into my cart. FOR ME. A tiny suitcase FOR ME. Three white baby dresses FOR ME. I may have to rethink this plan.

An Invitation to Tea

 

 

A Witches' Tea 

will be served at three

  For all my magic friends

      And Me 

                                                          

You're invited to prepare the pot

And drink it while it's piping hot

We'll have some treats upon a tray

And nibble til it's time to play

We'll practice all our games and spells

Until we all can do them well

And from the cups the leaves we'll read

And tell some fortunes with great speed

For it's a busy day,  you see

And yet we must make time for tea

And afterwards a fond goodbye

As on our brooms to home we'll fly.

       

If I forgot to tell you where

I guess that we won't see you there.

                                                                 SMB

(This is a reprint of a post I did a few years ago. I did add a few more lines to my poem to make it new again. This will be my last post before Halloween. And we all know what comes next.)

Almost Halloween

 

I do love Halloween decor, even though I keep it pretty simple. I've shown this bookcase lots of times, but I will never get tired of it. Most of my Halloween books are for children, just because they are the most fun. I can't resist cute-scary witches and haunted houses.

Most of the places I have lived have had fireplaces. We still haven't used this one, but I always enjoy having a mantel. The picture is non-negotiable. John's mother had this print of Captain Bly for as long as he can remember, and then it was passed on to him. It's always had a place in his houses, but this is the first house where there has been a fireplace. So now he has a place of honor. I really need to read about him. All I know is from the old movie "Mutiny on the Bounty". I always wonder why I have this portrait of a crazy person in my house. My taste usually leans toward florals and landscapes. 

The rest of the items on the mantel change frequently. Right now I have three pumpkin candlesticks that I made from a Dollar Tree video. I do have a passion for that store, but it's always hard to find things. I did manage to get the little witch hats for the pumpkin heads, but never saw another one. They either don't get them in, or they disappear quickly. I know there are women out there buying up all the supplies, especially when I only need one of something. But I digress. The pumpkins are something I will take apart and re-use, probably for Christmas.

I found the orange shelf many years ago and decided it was perfect for Halloween potion bottles. It changes from year to year. One year a grandson (who is now all grown up) and I had a good time deciding what to put in the bottles. The Witch's Brew was green and sparkly paper. Ghost In a Bottle was stretched out cotton balls. Poison Ivy was dried plants. My favorite label says "Rue--Adds a Touch of Regret to Any Dish". I used to have rue growing in my herb garden. It was lovely but could leave a nasty rash if touched without gloves.

I planned to decorate the Witch's hat but it hasn't happened yet. The boots remind me of the ones I wore every day when I worked at a Living History museum.

Today is just a little touch of Halloween about the house. Fall has finally arrived after many days of tricking us into thinking it is still summer. So the furnace is on and so are the sweaters. I have to remind myself that it is time to wear socks! I hope we all enjoy this peek into Halloween!

A Witchy Wish

                             When your fortune on Halloween is told                                   Your beauty will last and you will never look old.

GALENA: A LITTLE TOWN WITH A BIG STORY

We enjoyed our little trip to Galena, Illinois last week. It was the second time that we've been there together. The weather was beautiful, even though most of the leaves hadn't changed yet. It is a very hilly and wooded area, so it will be beautiful in another week or so. Galena is a river town, built along the Mississippi. There are a few old mansions open to tour, including the home of former President, Ulysses S. Grant. The oldest house in Galena was built as a trading post in 1826. There is also a very long main street with many shops and restaurants. We spent a lot of our time walking around seeing the shops and sampling the restaurants. We had been to some of the houses on a past trip, so we didn't go this time. I can always visit the stores more than once!

One night we had dinner at VinnyVannucchi's which is up a steep stone street. Once we got there, they only had one table open and it was on the third floor. I truly felt like I was back in Italy with all the walking! There were several Italian restaurants. I looked in some of the windows and a lot of them reminded me of the wonderful places that my friend Kris and I went to exactly a year ago. 

We stayed at the Irish Cottage which is a very nice place just a few minutes from the town. It isn't an old building though it has a wonderful ambience. The connecting pub was actually furnished with fixtures from Ireland. The bar has a snug at each end. I watch a lot of British tv, and people always seem to be going to the snug for private meetings and conversations. Each one is a small room with a window connected directly to the bar. We sat in the Victorian snug one night and drank Irish drinks and listened to the band. It was lovely.

I liked the other Snug too. It was a little smaller, but naturally I would like to have the cupboards and drawers. I will always miss my little she-shed cottage, but maybe I should have a snug.

On the wall by the stage is a quote from the poet Arthur Shaughnessy. His poem "Ode" was written in 1875.

Another of my favorite places was the library with names of Irish authors above the shelves. I did spend some pleasant hours there.

The guests were friendly, and we enjoyed talking with some of the other travelers. I do admit to being an eavesdropper and peoplewatcher. This was a habit I developed when I spent so many years eating alone. I would always look at other diners, imagine their lives and listen to their conversations. One of the funniest things we heard was at breakfast our first morning. A woman walked by an older gentleman who was innocently enjoying his meal and asked him if she could rub his bald head. She commented that it was very shiny and then asked him if he used a moisturizer on it. I warned John that he had better keep his hat on. We didn't see her again. There was another woman at breakfast with a gravity defying bun on the top of her head. We saw her several times in the shops and it barely moved. I was in the buffet line with her friend who told me all the reasons why she couldn't eat eggs. They were part of a "girls trip" who all had matching tee shirts. You see a lot of those in Galena. It's a fun place to go and I recommend it. We had a really nice time. John and I are very good at short trips, but we have really become homebodies in our golden years. I'm looking forward to many more anniversaries for us.