Wedded Bliss

 

October 12 will be our sixth wedding anniversary. It's hard to believe that we have been married that long. I still think of us as newlyweds. Crazy young kids. Even though at our age, we should be counting every year as ten. That would make this our sixtieth. How time flies. We've decided to take a few days and celebrate in Galena, since it's such a cute little town and only a few hours away. We spent our original honeymoon in Laramie, even though that wasn't our plan. Our car (practically new) broke down, and so we spent most of our time either driving or being stranded or waiting around in dealerships. It wasn't the best way to start a marriage but we managed to survive it. Our trip was cut short, and we drove our loaner car home and returned in mid-December when ours was finally fixed. This was my first hint that John isn't a great traveler. One of my favorite places in Laramie was a bookstore called "The Second Story". It was upstairs in a building originally used as a brothel back in the wild, wild west. There were lots of little rooms.

The name may just sound familiar since it is what I call my writings. It seemed very fitting since this is the second story of our lives. It was also the name that I gave to my little she-shed cottage. Sadly, I had to leave it when we moved. My cottage and the front porch are the only things I really miss about our first house.

I have a very nice book of wedding photographs, but since it is the middle of the night and I should be packing for tomorrow I don't have much to show. 

Getting married for a second time is very different than the first. Jim and I were very young even though we didn't think so at the time. We were both barely nineteen. Keeping a home and a marriage were both very new to us and we learned together. We were married for almost forty-three years. After that I was on my own for nine years. I became very independent with my time and money. I got used to never telling anyone where I was going or when I would be back. I hadn't dated anyone until I started seeing John. I think we were both surprised that we fit so well together. And we were also surprised that we could love someone again. Every day I am grateful that he came into my life.

Usually, I don't spend a lot of time thinking about what I want to write. I just write from my heart. (I hear that a lot on cooking shows. "Just measure from your heart". It makes me laugh.) This time I really spent some time thinking about it. I asked John what he felt was different about a second marriage and what changes he had to make. He couldn't come up with a single thing. Of course, I had a very long list. Most of them are minor and not very important, but they were still changes in my life. When a person has lived many years as an adult, she becomes accustomed to doing things a certain particular way. And then she marries someone who is also used to doing things his own way. Most of these are not very important at all. They are just things I've noticed along the way. 

When we got married in 2019 I moved into the house where John had been happily living for over thirty years. It was a nice place but it never felt like mine. I always said he had the home court advantage because he had lived there so long. Two years ago, we moved to our house. It's the right home for us.

Here are some of the things that we never really think about because we have always done them our own way. One person has to change. I'm pretty sure it is usually the woman.

How do you make the bed?

What brand names do you buy?

How do you cook certain foods?

Are you a cuddler or do you like to sew and work on craft projects while you watch tv?

What kind of tv shows do you watch?

Do you like to be early or are you always late?

Do you stock up or wait until you are almost out of whatever?

What are your politics?

How do you put the toilet paper roll on the holder?

Which side of the bed do you sleep on?

Do you like to read yourself to sleep?

Do you go to bed early or late?

I'm not saying these are problems! We just don't usually think about why we do things the way that we do. It is hard to change after so many years of being a certain way. And so, we have our own bathrooms and never talk about politics. I am very happy with my Second Story. And I am wishing for many more anniversaries together.

 Welcome to October, my favorite month. Even though it is unusually warm for this time of year, the trees are starting to turn and the evenings are crisp and cool. I could let these days last forever. Soon we will have the surprising first frost, which is almost always followed by warm, almost summery weather. Here in the midwest the seasons are always well defined. Black walnuts, acorns, and drifting leaves are thick and crunchy upon the ground. This is the weather that calls to us. It reminds us to spend as much time as possible outside while we can enjoy it.

October is a time to enjoy the colors. It's also a time to remember that the holidays are beginning. Years ago, when I was busy selling at craft fairs, I felt like I was already late for Christmas by now. Luckily, I've managed to overcome that October panic and to enjoy one holiday at a time. Now I just concentrate on autumn and Halloween during this month. And I take time to enjoy it more. But I still like to decorate the easy and inexpensive way.

Halloween has become the second most decorated holiday here in the United States. The stores are filled with creepy, scary, gory decorations early in August or September. If you don't want to get involved with elaborate decorating there are still lots of simple ways to welcome the season without spending a lot of money. I have some old ideas that are still adaptable today.

Grocery stores carry a large variety of pumpkins, squash and gourds this time of year. There are also some farmers markets open in October. Buy a few and arrange them in a basket, bowl or just on a table. When it gets closer to the end of October, these can be carved into jack-o-lanterns. There are artificial pumpkins now that can be more easily carved, last longer, and don't make such a mess. They can be stored for several years, but aren't nearly as much fun to make.

When you are out enjoying that autumn walk, look for fallen tree branches. A large one will make a great tree for your hanging decorations. Put it in a pot, goody bag, or pumpkin with a bit of plaster to keep it steady. Over-achievers may want to paint the branch and give it a little sparkle but plain works just fine. I like to add some ribbons and black netting or cheesecloth. Don't forget the fairy lights.

Fabrics come in lots of Halloween and fall prints. I made a table runner for my dining room with a Halloween print on one side and an autumn design on the other. I've also made pumpkins from old plaid shirts and sweaters. 

Ghosts are popular again this year. They are good to make from cheesecloth or old lace doilies. 

Grapevine wreath bases can be changed for the seasons. Instead of attaching the flowers and ribbons permanently, they can be woven through the vines. This doesn't work as well on a door that is used every day, but it is sturdy enough for a wall.

Some of my decorating ideas seem a little out of date because they are. These are things that I have been doing for years. Now the decor has definitely changed to trendier, flashier and bigger. People buy blow up yard decorations and sculptures that can be twenty feet tall! Inside the house, pink has become a staple color. I guess I am a Halloween purist. I like orange, black, and purple. No monsters, bats, or skeletons for me. I stick with witches, ghosts and pumpkins.

  

When I share that I have a blog the most common reaction is surprise. Because I write but also surprise that people still read blogs. I hear they are going quite out of style. I guess that is because reading takes too long. Even though my little articles take about two minutes to get through, that is too much time for modern readers.   I love to read but I find that I don't have the attention span that I used to possess. I keep checking out too many books from the library, but many of them are returned unloved and unread. 

 When I was unhappy, I used to journal almost every day but changed that habit after I got married to John. Now I keep a lot of random notebooks with thoughts and lists and things I learn from people who make vlogs and videos. I started watching them to see what they were like and if I would ever be able to film one. (I think no is the answer.) I do have a small tripod but have never tried to use it. If I had started years ago maybe I would have liked to have been an Influencer, but now the thought of it all is just too much. I have several you tube videos that I like to watch. A favorite is Jennifer L. Scott. She has written several books and started her Madame Chic series after spending a college semester in France. Now she is my idea of a perfect homemaker. Her house always looks quiet and perfect. She dresses beautifully, exercises on schedule, and gets up at 5:00 am to make her videos and write her latest book. I never see signs of her husband and four home-schooled children. I am enthralled just watching her cook and paint her fingernails. Not at the same time of course, but she probably could. 

There are so many more that I like to watch. An American countess who tours British historic homes is another favorite. I always like a good tour guide. There are so many women who live in perfect little cottages and wear velvet capes when they go outside to frolic in the snow. As you see, in my fantasy life I dwell in the possibility of perfection. (Apologies to Emily Dickenson)

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In our family September is the cruelest month. Even after all these years, I still spend most of the month in a fog. The closer it gets to the end of the month the more my mind jumps all over the place. Rich died fifteen years ago on September 23. It is by remembering that we keep our loved ones with us, but it never becomes easy. I miss you, Richie. Love, Mom

Reading and Writing

 I do my best writing in the middle of the night. But last night I decided to let it wait. It's still Wednesday so technically I am keeping my write-once-a-week promise to myself, but I am spending way too much time today just getting lost in computer land. There is so much going on this week, in the world, and in my own little area of the world that I just can't keep a focus on one thing only.

 Almost everything in my life revolves around books. There are books on any subject we can imagine.

We are having a much needed rainy day today, so nothing sounds better than a cozy nook, a good book, a blanket, and a cup of tea. Although I can't stop collecting books, I don't read nearly as much as I used to. I try to read at least a couple of chapters of whatever novel I want to finish every day. I am a grand one at making promises to myself. Sometimes I keep them. Other times I don't.

I am also a big fan of self-help books, diet books, and cook books. Oh, and all kinds of crafting books, histories, and biographies. About the only things I don't want to read are true crime stories. And, if it's a novel, then it must have a happy ending.

I have never been in a book club. A couple of online ones, but that's not the same. When we were dating, John said he'd like to start a book club, but he wanted to be the only one who talked. I think he just liked the idea of reading a book and then telling his audience (me) about it.

When I was googling all sorts of ideas today, I first saw ads for anxiety book shelves. I learned a lot about anxiety in a few clicks, and may write more about it later. There is so much for people to be anxious about lately.  These are boxes with a glass front that contain miniature books in a bookcase. The idea is to arrange it however you want and then shake it so the books fall out. Then you can rearrange it. I guess this helps with stress but that makes me feel stressed just by thinking about it.

I have a little bookshelf that I am planning to use in a Christmas miniature scene. I won't be knocking it over on purpose though.

The quotes I used in these photos are by Dr. Seuss.  I made the pictures using AI. I am just beginning to learn about it. It is amazing to say what I want and it just happens. I am only using the free setups so it's pretty limited but it's lots of fun. Unfortunately, this time I spent more time playing than writing.

And So It Begins

 

Today I started decorating for fall. This is early for me. I usually put summer away and take some time before I begin with Halloween after the first of October. I am planning to entertain a group of friends on the first, so I am starting now. It's a slow start. We are still expecting some temperatures in the 90's this week, so I don't feel autumn crispness. 

It was my turn to host the same ladies in February, but we had to cancel three times because of weather and illness. By the third time I was so done with it. I was over prepared and under inspired. I had gone through all my Valentine decorating, on to St. Paddy's and finished up with Easter. I don't usually decorate a lot for all the holidays. I do like to have some handmade and vintage items for the major ones. And I like to reuse and repurpose my old decorations. Earlier today this wreath was still on the door for summer. I started adding to it, and with a little ribbon it was transformed. I may add a few more things to it as I unpack the Halloween boxes.

My favorite items for decorating are garlands, buntings and banners. They are very English and I really enjoy finding and making them. I have more of them now than I have available spaces. I guess that is why this one hangs on the shower curtain!

My least favorite thing is that I will be wearing glitter for the next few months. No matter how careful I try to be, I somehow manage to sparkle at this time of year.

I don't really entertain much anymore. When I do, I tend to get into a panic about it. I've never been a person that can be ready for drop in visitors. Instead, I make lists and worry, and wish I'd bought new rugs, and had enough chairs and dishes for everyone. I have downsized so much in the past few years that now I have to buy or borrow household items when I need them once or twice a year. Luckily, I know people.

 I had an acquaintance once who spontaneously invited me to visit and showed off her laundry room. It was more decorated than any room in my house and looked just like a magazine layout. We never really became friends. I don't think that's the reason why, but it may have been.

I went to Hobby Lobby today. It's not a store that I visit often, but sometimes there just isn't anywhere else to go for emergency craft supplies. For me, most of it is overwhelming. There are too many choices, and much of it isn't a style I like. And they choose not to carry anything Halloween anymore! I miss the old fabric stores.

I've written before on my thoughts on Ease, Elegance, and Economy. To these I would add Comfort. I have a house where I seem to live in every room. I do like some cuteness in a laundry room, but not so much that it isn't functional. My newest favorite saying is from a tv show: " I was made for comfort, not for speed." (Vernon Scripps, not a role model, but I do like that quote)

MIDNIGHT MUSINGS

 

Happy September. This is the first of the autumn months that rhyme with Remember. For many of us, it is a favorite month, and also a month of contrasts. Some of my happiest memories are in Septembers, and also some of my worst.  Tonight, I have been going a little wonky looking for a specific computer file and bringing up just about every memory I have kept for the last many, many years. My trips down memory lane are always a little on the melancholy side. I don't really like to relive old memories and peruse forgotten photos. I know that isn't a popular thing to say, and I feel guilty for even thinking it, but it makes me feel sad. I have a wonderful life and I try to enjoy every minute of it, but when I look back, I always go into "woulda, coulda, shoulda" mode. I think I feel like everything goes too quickly. When I look at old pictures or read essays I wrote years ago, I wonder where the time went, and why I didn't get more done. I need to make a September resolution to count the things I've accomplished, and not just the projects and ideas that fizzled.  

I have accomplished one big (for me) thing so far this month. My recent blog post about my old house is in a new local newspaper called "The Highland Scribe". It is published monthly, and 5,000 copies are delivered to businesses on the north side of the city. It has space for ads, and articles about local businesses, but also asks for creative contributions. My goal is to have articles published more frequently and in other venues. This was something that I wanted to do in the past, but never followed through with it. I am particularly excited that my blog address is included.

And I admit that I am tickled to be called Local Author!

Mystery of the Poppy Plates

We have lived here for nearly two years. One would think that everything would be in its' place by now, but that wouldn't be true. Since I don't want to have every wall covered, many of them are still a little too bare. That isn't the way of the sun room, since it is mostly windows. There are very few walls, so I must be selective. 

I have always liked this picture, so I was happy to find a place where it fit. It's a print of an oil painting by a self taught German painter named Max Streckenbach (1865-1936) who specialized in floral still lifes. This one is called "Poppies in Vase". He painted another one that looks like the same poppies. That one is named "Poppies in Bloom". Since I didn't want my picture to feel lonely, I wanted to add a few other items I've acquired along the way, specifically two hand painted plates and a few postcards. Since I didn't have a place for them, I put them away for later. I will repeat that. I put them away for later.

Eventually, I bought a vintage shelf that John hung on the other side of the doorway. I went to get the plates because I thought I knew exactly where I had stored them. And they were not there. So the search began. I looked in all the drawers and spaces that I thought they could be. Every little box and basket around the house... The two shelves in the front hall closet... The linen closet... The laundry room cupboards...The extra boxes in the sewing room... The office closet... Then I went to the basement. I tried the storage room. And then I looked through the holiday boxes in the furnace room. I have to admit that I was on a mission, and not about to be defeated.

Finally, today I found them. For some reason, I hadn't opened the little desk right below the picture. I did open the drawer, but not the desk. I had set them in two of the little cubbies because it was the most logical place. Now they are finally on the little green shelf across the wall. And I am happy to report that I did not have to purchase more old poppy plates from the local antique mall. In desperation, I had started to look.

Unfortunately, during my poppy plate quest, I didn't find any of the other items that are still missing. I have a complete tea set, with cups and saucers for four. Somewhere. I hope to find it before next March, since it is decorated with shamrocks. I have some more framed pictures. There are various craft supplies. I know I have another antique quilt. Somewhere. There was a long hunt for my trifle bowl. I finally found two. I won't even mention the books that have gone awol. 

I blame all this on moving so many times in the past several years. A couple of moves ago, I finally started a little notebook titled "Oh, Wherever Can It Be?" I try to list all the cupboards and drawers and boxes where I might have put things. It isn't always up to date but it really helps me (sometimes) when I'm looking for something. I hadn't listed the poppy plates. That would have saved a lot of time. Live and Learn.

TEA AND THE TELLY

 

I visited England for the first time twenty five years ago, but I had already been in love with the country for a long time before that trip. British books and British television have been a part of my life for most of it.

Since I live in the midwest, I had to find my England wherever I could. I first discovered Midsomer Murders on the public tv stations when we had few choices. Midsomer Murders will always be a favorite. The series started filming in 1997 and they are on their twenty fifth season now. (I know the numbers don't add up, but they have skipped a few, here and there.)The shows take place in the fictitious county of Midsomer, and many of the Cotswold villages. The villages have different names, but are real places in one of the prettiest areas of England. There have been over 388 murders in the 136 episodes. Many have been done very creatively.  And there has been very little blood. This series has some of the wittiest dialog and beautiful houses and scenery. 

I have learned a lot of valuable life lessons from this series. First, and foremost is to never go into the woods alone. Also don't go into the woods at night. Also if you answer the door and say "Oh, it's you." then you are almost sure to expire in a most tragic and unpredictable manner. Never plan a village fete. Someone will not live through the festivities. Don't eat mushrooms, especially if they were a gift. Elderly ladies on bicycles can be very dangerous. Don't eat the bunny cakes. Tea cures everything. Watch out for the milkman and the postman, or even the doctor. Sometimes they have ulterior motives when they come to call. It isn't always murder. There is a lot of hanky panky going on in those quaint little villages.

Other British channels to watch are Acorn and Britbox. Now there are so many choices. Some of the programs go on for years. Heartbeat has 18 seasons and each one has over 20 episodes. The Royal was a spin-off and some of the characters overlapped, especially in the first few seasons. Both of these shows take place in the 1960's and there are many, many songs from that time as background. Heartbeat focuses on the police force in the little villages and The Royal is set in a hospital. The two things I learned from these shows was that everyone offered visitors a cuppa tea all through the day and if you visited someone in the hospital you brought grapes! Neither of these programs focused on murder, but be prepared because they often killed off the main characters just when I really started to like them. It is very emotional television. There were many tears.

These are just a few of the many, many entertaining British programs. I like the mysteries the most. All the people are well bred and polite. We see the same actors over and over again as different characters. That's part of the fun.

When John first realized I was hooked on English murder, I think he was just a little bit worried. But he started watching them with me, and now I think he is just as involved as I am. Or, he just likes the nightly ritual of laying on the couch while I sit there rubbing his head and drinking tea. Old people romance.

 OUR STATE FAIR IS A GREAT STATE FAIR

 The Iowa State Fair is one of biggest and earliest fairs around. Many people will tell you that it is the best. It was established in 1854 in Fairfield Iowa. The fair was moved to its' current location in the capital city of Des Moines in 1886. 

It is perhaps most known because of a book written in 1932. The book, State Fair, became a best seller for the author, Phil Stong. He was an Iowan from Keosauqua. His book was first made into a movie in 1933, into a musical in 1945 and 1962 and a made for tv movie in 1976. The story was about a farm family who visited the Fair in the big city. They were full of hopes and dreams and the two teenagers were looking for romance. The book didn't end as happily as the movie. The parents did win some blue ribbons, even though their children ended the visit with broken hearts. I read that the book was banned in the hometown library for twenty five years because the teenage characters were considered to be too immoral to be Iowans.

Our own experiences at the fair are much tamer. John's family have been venders since1948 when his grandmother started selling lemonade. He retired in 2021, and two of his sons have taken over the business. Now that the young grandchildren are learning, they have five generations that have been involved with the Brafford concession stands. They currently have four stands and are best known for their lemonade shake-ups. They also sell hot dogs, tots, nachos, tacos and burritos and more.

Here is John with his three boys, and another little snapshot with the Pope. You can see just about anyone at the Fair.

John has gone to the Fair every year that he remembers. He's been working since he was old enough to shake a lemonade. Even though it only lasts eleven days, it's on the Brafford Boy's minds all year long. John's retired now, but he can't stay away.

A lot of my early family experiences revolve around the race track that used to be part of the fairgrounds. My dad was a stock car driver and later a race promoter. I went to my first race as a baby in a wicker basket.

My brother also had an interesting history with the Fair. In 1990, he drove a semi truck and jumped it over eight cars. It was called "The Great American Truck Jump" and was filmed at the Fair for the Guiness Book of Records. He performed this all over the country.  I guess my family had its' own version of the Shake-Up.  

My own experiences are quite different. Many years I didn't go at all. And I didn't really miss it. It was a big relief when I finally realized that I didn't have to go on the scary rides just because my friends did. The craziest thing I ever did at the Fair was perform with a belly dance troupe, the Rainbows of the Desert. That was quite a while ago, and there are no pictures. Now I like to see the quilts and needlework and especially the dollhouses. Other than that, I am just fine with people watching.

SCHOOL DAZE

No sooner do we finish with one holiday than it is time for another. I've put away my July decorations and the house looks bare. I never quite know what to do at this time. I know some people like to use a honeybee motif, or fruit. I usually have some summer themed buntings, and some sunflowers.  I will make a wreath for the door with them, and some back to school items. It is pretty low key, compared to some decorating extravaganzas we will have later on in the year! I do know some people who will be very involved with Halloween before this week ends. That is just too soon for me. I know it is already in the stores, but I prefer looking at the back to school things. I have always liked office supplies, even though I never liked working in an office. School supplies are just a mini version, and cuter. 

When my youngest child was finished with school, I visited the school supply aisle at Target and cried. Any sensible mother would have been crying at graduation, or when he moved away. Not me, I looked at all the different kinds of pens and papers and notebooks, and erasers, and pencil boxes, and backpacks, and I remembered all those years when we had picked out favorites. Yes, I am just filled with nostalgia when it comes to lunch bags. Is that normal? Probably not.

As it turned out, I didn't need kids in order to stock up on paper. One of the nice things about this time of year is the bargains.

I am partial to these plastic pencil boxes. They fit into drawers and I will fill them with beads and wire. Tape and picture hangers fit there too. Actually, all sorts of this and that find the way into these boxes.

Composition notebooks are everywhere in the stores now. I bought enough to last a good long while because they were only 37 cents! The fancier ones were a little bit more, but I cover the covers so it really doesn't matter. I use these books to make "junk journal planners", and it's a favorite thing to do.

The first step is to go through the book and tear out a page for every ten. It should be fairly even, so make it one ten pages in from the front, and ten pages in from the back. This is to keep it from getting too bulky. The remaining pages should be glued together in twos. Washi tape is fine for the outside edges. I use a book for two or three months at a time and print monthly calendars to put inside. And then comes the fun part. Collect pieces of your days. It is like the scrapbooks we made when we were kids. Anything can go inside. Last month I used my birthday cards, and even a small candle. These books can be a little lumpy. Anything from favorite quotes or daily to do lists will fill the pages. I also save a lot of receipts, business and appointment cards, chocolate wrappers, unusual tea bag packages, labels, and so much more. I use patterned papers to add extra pages and pockets, and often use lots of stickers. I use glue and tape and even staples for this journal. It isn't meant to be grand, but it will hold a lot of memories while not taking up much space.  And as a bonus, I use a lot of supplies that I have on hand.

A cute finishing, and wholly unnecessary touch are handmade dangles clipped on to each book. Once again, they use little bits of memorabilia. Items like buttons, beads, charms, ribbons, keys, tiny silverware, mini teacups are lovely when knotted together.

I learned to make these from you tube videos. The channel called Thrifty Day, run by a woman in California named Leah is filled with charming ideas and lots of conversation and enthusiasm.  Her work has a strong connection to Disney, and she manages to have fun with everything she makes. I have learned a lot from her, but she is quite a talker.

An Old House Journal

Which house is the one with the most memories? Is it our first house or the one where we lived the longest? Is it the house where we were happiest? Or possibly the one where we raised our children?  

This was the house my family lived in for over twenty-seven years. When we moved here in September of 1978, our oldest child was nine. His sisters were seven, four, and two. Approximately. Someone was always having a birthday. The next September, we added our last baby. He always thought the house belonged exclusively to him, since he was born here. This was the perfect house to raise a family. We had over four acres and were in the country, but also within walking distance of a Casey's convenience store. There was a nature preserve over the hill and behind the house, so it always felt very private. Our first house had been on a busy street, so this seemed like a miracle.

Although the area was perfect, the house wasn't. It was an old farmhouse, and it needed some work. The first thing we did was an addition upstairs. The house quickly went from two bedrooms to five, and we added another bath. 

I first saw the house when I was in my early teens. My friend's grandparents lived there and her family lived next door. Her dad was born there. We were never quite sure when it was built. Old newspaper insulation in the attic was dated 1884. Most people settled on 1893 as the correct date, so it was at least 133 years old now. We think it was the oldest house in the area. Rooms had been rearranged and changed a lot over the years. 

We started a remodeling that lasted all of my children's growing up years. They thought it was perfectly normal to have plastic hung over all the doorways to keep out the plaster dust from the old lath and plaster walls. The first winter one of the beds was covered in white every time it snowed. Often it was so cold upstairs in the winter that everyone raced to get out of bed in the mornings and claim one of the floor registers downstairs. Lots of new windows and insulation helped, but it was always cold. It was a house of too many doorways and windows, and many small rooms. It also had a lot of charm and we loved living there and changing it so it suited us. I still miss all the shelves and bookcases Jim built into almost every room.

There were more outbuildings than we needed. Especially after my husband had to build the new garage to house the 1950 John Deere B tractor that he surprised me with for my 50th birthday. Anyone who knows me will realize I am not a tractor kind of girl, so it didn't take much to realize that it was really a present for him. He loved taking care of it and giving the grandbabies rides around the yard. I actually got my first trip to England because of that tractor, so it worked out well for both of us!

My favorite little building was the old milk shed. I had a cottage herb business for a few years when the kids were young, and that became my workshop. I grew many of my herbs and flowers and made wreaths, arrangements and potpourris. I had walls of shelves filled with gallon jars of dried herbs. Those years were happy times, until allergies to oils and plants ended that career.

                                                                              

When our children were grown, it became too big for the two of us. Jim didn't enjoy mowing all those acres as much as he used to, and we no longer needed five bedrooms. He said I would just fill all the empty spaces with "stuff", so we decided to downsize. 

The couple who bought the house lived there for several years without changing much at all. When they listed it for sale, I walked through it, and was surprised at how little it had changed. The wallpaper I loved was still on the sunporch walls. Friends had often teased me because I kept it for many years and never got tired of it. I would still have it again if I could. Seeing my old house looking the same was such a shock, because my life had changed so much. I had lost the son who was born there, and then his father. I moved and changed jobs several times, and then married my wonderful John and moved two more times!

The current owners have lived there three years and made many changes of their own. A few months ago they decided to sell it and I walked through at another open house. This time was a real surprise as many walls had been opened up, and everything had a very modern feel. Beautifully decorated, but it was no longer the home I remembered. There were more changes in store, as the young family decided to stay, and to rebuild.  As I've said before, the location is perfect. They have a darling baby, several horses, cows, dogs, and chickens, and the land is well used. Construction will start soon. Last week all the outbuildings and many trees were taken down. Today the house was leveled. So much of my history was in that house. But they are making their own history now and I wish them well.

(I don't know how many times they filled this dumpster, but all that is left tonight is a small pile of rubble)

EASE, ELEGANCE, and ECONOMY

 

I am a big fan of Jane Austen. Even more than her books, I like her letters. Even though she was born two hundred and fifty years ago, she said a lot in her novels of contemporary nineteenth century life that still make sense today.

She wrote a letter to her sister, Cassandra, in July of 1808 that contained this passage: "In the meantime for Elegance and Ease, and Luxury...I shall eat ice and drink French wine, and be above Vulgar Economy." Jane did like a good vacation.

Many years later I read these familiar words again in another book that I happened to find. This one was printed in  1971, and was one of my favorites when I was a young wife: 

It's out of print now but used copies can still be ordered through book stores. I liked it because it was funny, yet filled with charts and schedules. I remember she said that the only thing she really liked about housekeeping was arranging red roses in crystal vases. 

The words I remember most were her opinions on ease, elegance, and economy. Basically, she said that you can never have all three at the same time. You can always have two of them, but never all. And it changes. If you want to buy something, make something, entertain someone, or just do something wild and crazy for yourself, then one of these will have to be excluded.

It's possible to plan a party with ease and elegance, but not with economy, because you will have to spend more money. You can have an elegant, economical party, but it won't be easy, because you will be doing most of the work yourself. Or you can just throw something together and make it easy and economical, but you'll be missing all those fine touches that make it elegant!

I'm not sure why this has stuck with me for fifty years, but it applies to just about every situation. I'm not sure what happened to my copy of the book, but it is worth reading more than once. I remember making some pretty elaborate schedules when my kids were small. 

Another housekeeping book I liked was this one:

For quite a while I kept my whole life on index cards. The authors' motto was "We change lives with 3 x 5's. They were two sisters, Pam and Peggy, and were hilarious. They had a tv show for a while, and I always tried to watch it. They were even keynote speakers at a convention I went to, and let me be their assistant, because I wrote them a really schmaltzy fan letter. They wrote back to me. I probably still have it somewhere. I finally got rid of all their newsletters, and instantly regretted it.

Another homemaker author I enjoyed was Peg Bracken and her "I Hate to Cook" book and "I Hate to Housekeep" book. As people can probably tell, I am drawn to the funny and the ridiculous advice books, as long as they teach me something I want to learn.

And, then, of course there is Martha Stewart, who tried to make us think that we could have the Three E's, although I never feel that economy is involved. One year I wanted to use one of her Christmas ideas, but I realized that just the ribbon would cost my entire budget. And Martha isn't funny. Impressive, but not funny.

Today, I still enjoy all the housekeeping and decorating tips, but am becoming addicted to YouTube videos. Everyone I see has a perfect life. Recently, I've been watching several of the videos called "Wise Elders Insights." They are filled with good advice for our twilight years, but not with a lot of humor. They are narrated with a very soothing voice that makes me feel like I must have known Jane Austen personally.  (I might be a little touchy since I just had a birthday!) I'm still hunting for the perfect clean your house, organize your day, be clever, and enjoy your life and laugh whenever you can information. I know it must be out there.

Seventy Six

 

I celebrated another birthday yesterday. I received this cute little red velvet cake in the mail. It is cake for one (but I will share) and even came with a candle. It was a good day but on the quiet side. I did a little shopping and went to the thrift stores everyone seems to love lately. We were going to go out, but both decided to order a pizza instead.

I am really a pretty quiet person. I like to stay home. I can go days and days without leaving my house. Last week I had to be social four days in a row. I went to a funeral, a family reunion, a birthday dinner, and a long lunch with friends. That might not sound like a lot, but it was. Except for my cousin's funeral, they were all enjoyable occasions, but still wearing. Does this mean I am old? As a friend says, anything over seventy-five is almost eighty. And I am getting a lot more Facebook ads for wrinkle cream.

It really doesn't seem like almost a year since I wrote "Seventy five at Seventy Five." I just read it again, and I hope you will too. Parts of it make me feel pretty profound.

76. Make sure to actually do more of the things on my list this year.