Happy Mothers Day

 Celebrating

Today is a holiday for all the mothers, grammies, aunties, sisters, and daughters here in the United States. Although we think of it as a day to give women special treatment, and present them with gifts, dinner out, and flowers, it has a very different history.

Mother's Day was actually begun by peace activists after the Civil War. Ann Jarvis and Julia Ward Howe (of Battle Hymn of Republic fame) were responsible for getting the holiday started. Ann wanted to get mothers of both Union and Confederate soldiers to band together to promote peace. Julia was the author of the Mother's Day Proclamation in 1870. In it she urged the formation of an international group of women to prevent wars and bloodshed.

After Ann's death in1905, her daughter, Anna, made it her personal mission to make Mother's Day official. She wanted a holiday to honor mothers. The first church service of the new holiday was in 1907. In 1914 President Wilson signed a proclamation to make it official.

By the early 1920's it had become a Hallmark holiday and Anna Jarvis was not happy that it was so commercial. She wanted a simple church holiday to recognize mothers. She spent the rest of her life being upset at what it had become, and trying to get it removed from the calendar. She protested at a candy makers' convention and at florist shops, since pink and white carnations were the flowers associated with Mother's Day. She was even arrested for disturbing the peace.

Mother's Day is still very commercial and is one of the biggest holidays for sending cards and making phone calls to Moms everywhere. And I am sure there are a lot of homes where breakfast in bed and other surprises will be happening today.                             

And It's May!

 

Sometimes I feel like I barely turn around and the season changes. May is only minutes away, but I feel like it shouldn't even be Spring yet. Time goes by so much quicker than it used to. I always thought that the days were supposed to stretch out as we got older. Maybe that is true if you are alone. John and I spend a lot of our time together, which is very nice, but I'm sure there were many more hours in the day when I was by myself for several years. We have been married for more than five years now, and it feels like only a minute. We've recently had a few health related kerfluffles, which always makes me feel like the Grim Reaper has my address. Nothing serious, but it makes me think about the future. I've decided to start curating info about vibrant, interesting, and active old people, and stop reading obituaries of unfortunate souls who are younger than I am. I don't know why, but my mind is jumping all over the  place tonight. There was a time when a friend told me I was on her list of unfortunate souls. Fortunately, I snapped out of it.

Changing the subject, I finally got the Easter (and Valentine and St. Paddy!) decorations put away, and a new wreath made for the door. This was quick and easy fabric strips puffed and tied on a wire frame. I added a lace and fabric bow, and glued on some carefully opened seed packets. I didn't want it too permanent because I plan to use the fabric for another project.

We sprinkled the seeds in various places around the yard. It's not exactly a flower garden, but I want blooms for cutting. The additional flowers and a small container for herbs will probably be the only additions this year. I am still hoping that my sense of smell will come back, but I am starting to feel that it won't happen. That takes away a lot of my enthusiasm for gardening. We do have several small areas of flowers. I've already brought in daffodils, and some beautiful pink ones that I haven't been able to identify. It is fun to move to a new house and to see what the previous owners left as a garden surprise. This will be our second summer here.

I just realized that it's May Day, and I should have made May baskets. I guess that is another example of time getting away from me lately. I am actually trying to incorporate a schedule into my life again. I used to live by my calendar. I'm really glad not to have to be so regimented, but I feel like I barely get things done and then the day is over. Right now I could be making baskets or I could be going to bed. An easy choice tonight. Goodnight all.

APRIL SHOWERS

I live in an area where winter drags along for months and months, and we still experience an April blizzard every few years. I never find myself rushing into springtime. We turn the furnace off and on again a few times before we are ready to open the windows and enjoy the weather. But now the daffodils are blooming, and the flowering trees and bushes are everywhere. I think it just might be safe now, even though we had a dusting of snow last week.

It's been said that Spring is nature's way of saying, "Just one more time". This is the time for change and renewal, so I thought I would list a few ways to celebrate the season.

Go outside. Renew your acquaintances with the neighbors. Take a walk in the park. Play on the swings. Fly a kite. Hit some golf balls. Find a five year old to help you.

Visit a garden center. Mulch. Buy seeds. Plant vegetables. Plan a kitchen garden. Start a small herb garden. Buy some plants and put them in unusual containers. Just about anything can work, if you can put a drainage hole in it. Old decorative tins, pottery, mixing bowls, wooden boxes, broken chairs, leather pocketbooks and shoes are just a few containers. Try to stop yourself before you are putting geraniums in old plumbing fixtures.

Put your house up for sale. If that's a little drastic, then just pretend that you are going to move. Visit some Open Houses in your area and get new decorating ideas. Clean a closet. Give things away. Have a garage sale. Consider renting a space or a display case in a consignment mall or flea market. Many places will rent space for just a few months.

Start a fitness program--Every year it surprises and scares me when I realize that I can't keep wearing jackets and sweaters every day. Enroll in an exercise class, or start walking. And, no, it is never too late.

Go and do something just for yourself. Buy a fabulous spring bouquet. Have a department store makeover. Read a book out on the deck. Eat Girl Scout cookies.

I'd love to say that I do all these suggestions. Last year I put my herbs in an old tin bucket, and didn't add any drainage holes because it already looked pretty holey. It wasn't enough, and they only lasted half the season. Do as I say, not as I didn't.

It was our first spring and summer since we moved. It was exciting to see what flowers we had here at our new to us house. And now this year, we will know what to add. I am hoping that we have lilacs. Absolutely there will be zinnias. I love the bright colors and being able to cut them to bring inside. And marigolds need to go somewhere. We would like to add more rosebushes. We don't have a vegetable garden anymore. We just rely on the local farmers' market. One of our neighbors is a most prolific gardener, and is already spending hours outside every day. I'm hoping to get to know her better this year.

APRIL

The roofs are shining from the rain.

 The sparrows twitter as they fly,

 And with a windy April grace 

The little clouds go by. 

Yet the back-yards are bare and brown 

With only one unchanging tree— 

I could not be so sure of Spring 

Save that it sings in me.

 -- Sara Teasdale

 

 

The Victorian Gypsy

 I would just like to send a reminder that I had another blog before this one. I wrote The Victorian Gypsy from 2005 until 2020. You can find a link on the sidebar or here. I changed to The Second Story when I had some technical problems. For some strange reason, I still get more views on the old blog. I am trying to make them both productive. Just thought I'd put that out there.

NECESSARY FRIENDSHIPS

Make new friends, but keep the old. One is Silver and the other is Gold

People come into our lives

for a reason, or a season. We will all have a lot of friendships that don't last, and a few that we treasure throughout our lives.

Friendships come in all shapes, ages, and sizes. Some of my very dearest friends are more than twenty years older or younger

 than I am. I recently lost a lovely lady who was always a role model to me. I've often thought of her as the person I wanted to be when I grow up. I admired her style, and grace, and the way she treated people. She was a young 97 when she left us. I know she will be missed by many.

There are necessary friends. And there are friends of convenience.

To a child, every day can bring an opportunity to find a new best friend. Requirements are simple. Spending time together and "playing nice" are usually the only rules. Quickly, without even thinking about it--who was your first best friend? Do you remember why you chose each other, and how important that friendship was? Think about the secrets she shared, and the secrets you told. Did that friendship last, and do you know where he or she is today?

Eventually, we all grow up, and find we can have more than one best friend.

We have the friends that remember us as we were when we were young. This can have a disadvantage when they refuse to believe that one is no longer the fat, yet gawky girl with no self confidence and no particular talent. It can also be a comfort, when we don't have to explain our feelings or our motives to these friends, because they have know us almost as long as we've been here on earth. I have a group of friends that I feel like I have known forever. We usually only see each other once a month, but the camaraderie  we share has never changed.

Sometimes we are attracted to friendships with people just because they are different than we are. It is good to experience the way a different culture or economic level thinks and lives.

Neighbors and other parents can become our friends. New mothers often go through a time when they feel that there is no one to talk to that understands their feelings. This is the time to find a lifeline in a mother's group, or a book club. Our crafting group began when our children were babies, and it is still going strong nearly fifty years later! It is imperative to have some contact with other moms, so that you can reassure yourself that you are doing the right thing, and that there is more than one right thing to do.

There are school friends and work friends. Sometimes we can share the deepest and most private details of our daily lives with our work friends. Often, once we change departments or companies, those friendships can disappear. They have served their purpose. Other times these will become forever friends.

There are the kindred spirits. Kindred spirits are my favorite friends These are the people you meet and you know immediately that they will have a place in your life and in your heart forever. They are the friends who will support you, even when they don't agree with you. They laugh with you and they cry when you need to cry.

There are friends you can travel with. And there are also friends that you can't. Usually, before you take a trip with a friend, it is a good idea to talk about the basics. Does she get up before the sun, and does she understand your need for coffee first thing in the morning? For me, being flexible is one of the most important qualities. I have a few friends who are perfect as traveling companions. We always have a good time, no matter what happens.

When a woman's children have grown up, and she is no longer involved in school activities, or has retired, she may suddenly find herself without a close circle of friends again. This may be the time to join a group or a guild and find other women with that need for friendship. 

Some women I have known say that their husband or their daughter is their best friend. I never believed them when I was younger. There is a possibility I was wrong, but I still think we all need other friends.

I have been lucky in my friendships. But, perhaps luck shouldn't be enough. It is too easy to take a friend for granted. Today is a good time to make a new friend or renew a friendship.  I have a couple of women in mind. Join me as I make a call, send a note, or meet a friend for lunch.

 

LIFE RULES

 

Many years ago, when my five children were growing up, and our house was in happy chaos, I heard the words "It's not fair" several times a day. Whether it was about who got the biggest treat, who went to bed first, or whose turn it was to wash the dishes, nothing was fair in their world. And my all purpose answer was always that it wasn't fair but it evens out.

Recently our world has been hit by too many things that make us want to shake our fists in the air and shout--"It isn't fair"--. War, protests, accidents, natural disasters, so many things that don't seem to have a reason. I like to know a reason for everything. I like rules. I like the fact of cause and result. Here are a few of the things that help me. These are the LifeRules that I am working toward. I don't always remember them, but when I do, they give my life a little more meaning and balance.

I believe we need to be generous.  Many times I've noticed that what we give comes back to us in many ways. Always be willing to share what you have. Be generous with your time, with your money, and with yourself.

Do you know someone who just seems to be lucky? I have a couple of friends who are. I can count on them to be the winners at raffles and lotteries, to get the best seats, and to always have things given to them. I admit that sometimes I feel a little jealous and get a bad case of the Poor Me's and feel that life isn't fair. Yes, I have been known to whine. Over time, I have noticed that these lucky women are always giving. They think about others and are there with help, and gifts, and acts of kindness. And this generosity finds it way back to them again and again.

I believe we need to be grateful. Appreciate what you have, both the big and the small. Try to remember to take time to notice the miracles that surround us. The more you look, the more you will find. 

And I believe we need to be prepared.  We never know what the future holds. The only certainty about life is its' uncertainness. Have a plan, both for your day, and your future. Do you know what important things you would need in an emergency? Do you have the necessary supplies? Do you know what really matters to you and why? Take some time, take stock, and think about where you are going in life and what you need.

Life isn't fair, but it evens out. Remember that, because it keeps us traveling in the direction that we need to be moving.  

2025 ADDENDUM:  

Recently I have been sorting through some of my old writings. They are musings I wrote after I got my first computer, and years before I started a blog. Although many seem outdated now, I am dusting them off and posting them here on The Second Story. I am planning to put them all together for that elusive book I sometimes talk about. (It will at least be organized for my children.)I wrote this over twenty years ago. It is still relevant to our world today. There were many times that I no longer believed that life evens out. For a time, I completely lost my faith in fairness, but now I am holding firmly onto it again.

“Life is amazing. And then it's awful. And then it's amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it's ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That's just living: heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it's breathtakingly beautiful.”      ― L.R. Knost

                                    

“

Happy Valentine's Day

You'd never know the thoughts that grow

Within this heart of mine

Unless I told you in this way

My charming Valentine

I seldom entertain. But every once in a while, it is my turn and I go into a frenzy of getting ready. Months ago I decided it would be a good time to have our Questers group over in February for our monthly meeting and to see the house. Christmas would be put away and everything would look nice and well behaved after the holiday. It is not a secret that I am not a "just drop in anytime" kind of homemaker. If I don't know you are stopping by, I am very likely to have a mountain of some kind of project going on. Or I may be in my jammies, drinking tea and eating bon bons. But if I plan something, I want it to be perfect, at least in my head, if not in my house. 

We have had a very temperate winter here. Hardly anything you could call winter weather at all, especially for Iowa. But on the first Wednesday of February we had ice. Enough to make us all stay inside if we had any sense at all. So of course, my little meeting was cancelled. We moved it to the next Wednesday. So, naturally, we had a snow storm. And we cancelled again. I am trying one more time. Next week will be my post Valentine party with hearts and flowers that have been around just a little bit too long! And maybe a few St. Paddy's touches and Easter decor thrown in just for good measure.

My friends are lovely ladies but I am just a little intimidated by their beautiful houses and amazing antique collections. Questers is an international group that "keep history alive by supporting preservation, restoration, and education."  Small chapter groups meet once a month, and always have a program. Everyone shares a love of antiques and historical items.

 I grew up in a house filled with antiques and have collected a lot in the past. But I have moved many times in the last several years. Each time I have pared things down more and more. This last time we got rid of tons of stuff. I do not exaggerate. Of course, now I ask myself why I didn't keep the extra silverware? And enough dishes? And maybe a tablecloth? And more chairs? And all the cute, quirky, interesting items that used to be on my shelves and hang on my walls? I think I stay awake at night lately
wondering if my house is boring.

I'm not sure what happened here. This started out to be a post about the history of valentines. I have no discipline. No discipline at all.  

You'd never know the thoughts that grow

Within this heart of mine

January-The Good Madness

I am not depressed. I am not bored, or sad, or miserable. But I seem to have caught a slight case of the January Crankies. And I'm afraid that they come with a side of Crabbiness. And they are topped with a great big dollop of The Blahs. I'm really not sure why, because January is a month that I enjoy. I like the slower pace. I like to make lists, and to start new calendars. I like putting Christmas away, and enjoying the empty spaces before I start to decorate for another holiday.

But this year, none of that is working. I go shopping because I want something different. But then I just walk around the stores and come home with nothing, because nothing is what appeals to me most. I want to make wonderful meals, but I don't want to think about food. I feel ready to start that January fitness program, but lately my body feels better when I don't exercise. I want to start new creative projects, but not just yet. I have books to read, but none of them is the right one.

For several years, I have picked a word of the year. Some of my words have been Discover, Intention, Create, Magic, Wonder, Positivity, Organize, Mindfulness, and Minimize. This year my word is Curate, but I am starting to think it should be Wonky.

Maybe I have just needed this time to hibernate and recharge. And also to nap. I have always thrived on late nights and coffee. I notice I don't recover as well as I used to. Maybe this is my year to re-evaluate and change some of my goals. I can feel a tiny, little list forming in my head. All is well.

UNDECORATING

 The Twelve Days of Christmas are officially over on January the sixth. This is the traditional official time to put the holiday away. According to Irish custom, everything should be back to normal by that day. If it is all packed away by Epiphany, that brings good luck. I am all about the customs that promise luck.

I've been undecorating for the past several days. I saved the tree for today. I know a lot of people do it earlier, but I think it looks a little forlorn,  now that it is ready to be put downstairs in the storage area with all the boxes. Some want everything gone by December 26th. Since our celebrations are usually later, I don't think I could ever handle that. And to me, it just feels like much too soon. I really enjoy the decorations. I also enjoy the undecorating. I like packing every thing away in small boxes and big totes. I wrap a lot of the ornaments in tissue for safekeeping, and because it feels like a surprise when it's time to unwrap them. I enjoy that I have such a variety of ornaments, ranging from handmade for my first tree over fifty years ago, to ornaments from friends, and from places we've traveled, and ones that John and I have collected. This was our sixth Christmas together. Our decorated tree contains a lifetime story.

One thing left to do on January 6th is to put all the small nativity sets away. The Epiphany is the day to celebrate the arrival of the Three Kings. They are also called the Magi or Three Wise Men. It just doesn't seem right to put them away any earlier.

Another Irish custom that I've discovered is Nollaig Na mBan. This means "Little Christmas" or "Women's Christmas". Since January 6 is the end of all the Christmas cooking and decorating and undecorating, it's time for the women to finally take the day off. Organize a women's party or just a cup of tea and a visit with a friend.

Ending the Year

 

"The old year is worn and tired.

Time now to kiss it goodbye.

Take with you its wisdom-the authority

and the power of all you have learned.

Remember the past year with love,

but let go of its despair.

Live the year that lies ahead

with fresh energy and hope.

Be strong, have courage.

It is time for something new.

(An antique postcard)

I can't help it. The end of a year always makes me feel a little bit melancholy. 2024 was a good year. I have had some that were not, but not for a while. Every day I am grateful that I was able to start my second story with John. We both know that we were lucky to find true love, not once, but twice. And the simple things are the most important.

We had a good Christmas. It was another year that had a late start. We celebrated with John's family on the 27th and with mine on the 28th. There are just too many of us to do it all together! We did manage to get some pictures, but they are all on someone else's cameras.

For a happy New Year, open your door at midnight to let the old year out and the new year in. This is another of those customs that originated in Ireland.

In some countries it is believed that one should eat 12 grapes as the clock strikes twelve o'clock. 

Sometimes I am not awake or I'm busy writing in my journal, so I miss midnight completely. Tonight the two of us will be eating pizza and watching British tv. It has been awhile since we've been to a New Year's Eve party.

As the year comes to an end, I want to thank those of you who read my December daily posts, and especially the friends who liked or commented. It was a challenge I made to myself to see if I was able to write everyday. I usually think I need to "be inspired" to be able to write, and now I know that I can write even if there is nothing in my head but sugarplums when I sit down to the computer. I know I won't blog every day, but I am hoping I can keep posting on a much more regular basis. I am so very grateful for your encouragement.

In times gone by, the men went calling on the ladies on New Year's Day. The visits were short and expressed good wishes for the coming year. 

             HAPPY, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO US ALL!

CHRISTMAS COUNTDOWN DAY 25

 A CHRISTMAS WISH: 

AND TO ALL MANKIND, PEACE AND GOODWILL

CHRISTMAS COUNTDOWN DAY 24

A Christmas Wish: 

This day and tomorrow and always

As all through your lifetime you go

May your stockings be filled with good fortune

With never a hole in the toe.

                              Anonymous

Hurry and hang your stocking if you haven't done it yet. Santa will probably leave an orange and maybe some chocolate coins. At one time he left "clear toys" which were bright candies I read about in a book by Tasha Tudor. I think there was only one place they could be ordered from, so Santa really had to be on top of things to get them in time for Christmas. Stockings when I was younger and then when my children were small were filled with good treats and toys. I firmly believe that stockings are not for the practical. When I first got married many years ago, my new husband did not understand the stocking concept. He had gotten them while growing up but I'm pretty sure they were filled with socks and underwear. John, my newest husband never hung stockings when he was a child. I was astounded. No stocking! It's the best part of Christmas. For a few years, I gave my three young sisters money and had them shop for my stocking stuffers. As they all got older we filled stockings for each other. They were little things, some pretty, some funny, and some very funny. One year a sister managed to fill water guns, and when we opened them, we had a squirt gun fight. Another year I bought everyone bright red whistle lips. We also got notebooks, and pens, makeup, jewelry, and all sorts of surprises. It was so much fun, but eventually they all moved away, and we discontinued it.

Lucky for me, my girls were old enough by that time to be initiated into the Stocking Stuffers Secret Society. We manage to get together at our family celebrations to open our stuffers. It's still my most fun and favorite tradition.

I used to hang stockings for everyone as we kept adding to the family. At one time we had eleven stockings hanging and a Santa bag for the eight grandchildren. Once we started to lose some of our dear ones, I didn't have the heart to hang stockings at Christmas. If I started again we would have seventeen adults and thirteen grandchildren. So I guess that is one tradition I won't bring back. The stuffers with my girls will keep on going forever!

My fireplace stocking is a little bit small, so until I get a new one, I use this one. Good thing I've been very good this year.

CHRISTMAS COUNTDOWN DAY 23

 A Christmas Wish:

When you hang a bunting or a banner you will have instant festivity. It always works.

The first time I noticed bunting was probably the brightly colored rows of pennant flags advertising used car lots and political events. (!!!) This was when I was a child. Bunting is often used to signify a celebration and is finally becoming more popular in the United States. Now you'll see it at birthday parties, weddings, holidays, and especially Christmas. It has been popular in Europe since the seventeenth century. It is often referred to as pennants, garlands, or banners. Actually banners are usually one larger flag rather than a row of individual ones.

They are much more prevalent in Britain. I was in England during Queen Elizabeth's Diamond Jubilee in 2012. Different buntings were everywhere, inside and out. It was like a big party, every where that I looked.

I have been making buntings and putting them inside my house for several years. The holiday ones are always favorites, but I will hang them just about anywhere.

I made over 100 fabric yo-yo's for this bunting. These are also called suffolk puffs, which is a much prettier name. I keep this one up most of the year.

An unknown quilter made many of these pieces years ago, yet never finished them into a quilt. I folded them in half, and they were the perfect size for this. I added a few wooden beads and sometimes a bit of lace. I have made several of these.

Twenty five of these triangles form pockets that can be an advent calendar. The flaps are held closed by little pins with the numbers on them.

Buntings can be made from all sorts of fabrics, ribbons, tulle, lace, and pictures. They are only limited by imagination and weight.

(Apologies for state of the pictures. My phone and laptop are still not speaking)