October the Fifth--In Sickness and in Health

 It's been a week since John had rotator cuff surgery. It's been a long week for both of us. I did have an idea about what it would be like-thanks to a couple of conversations with friends, and, of course, Google. I don't think John did. They told us that it would be six weeks of doing almost nothing except for some arm exercises. They said six weeks, but I'm sure John thought that meant about 3 days. He is ready to be recuperated and is so done with it.

Before I start my story, I need to say that he is a very good patient. He apologizes every time he needs to ask for help. And he hardly ever whines, whimpers, or complains. I understand it is a painful recovery, so I wouldn't blame him if wasn't quite so well behaved. Although he is a great patient, I'm not so sure that I am a great caretaker. I certainly have a new respect for people who find themselves in this situation for long periods of time.

Surgery was first scheduled to be early in September. Knowing how I feel about schedules, it wasn't really a surprise when it was changed. We thought he would be recovered enough for our anniversary trip October 12, but we realize now that isn't going to happen until later. Hopefully, it will still be fall when we are able to travel.

We left the hospital with a lot more equipment than we started with. They have a wonderful little machine with an electric ice pack now that he uses several times a day. It must weigh about fifty pounds, and has a long hose, and cord, and three buttons to turn it on. I don't know how many times I've nearly tripped over it. He also has a very complicated sling to keep his arm and shoulder immobile. He needs to wear it all the time, except for showers and the arm exercises.

We came home, and he got settled into the recliner, and just kept feeling worse and worse. He had quite a bit of anesthetic and his kidneys didn't want to work, and then he started having chest pains. So off we went to the emergency room. We were there for five hours, most of the time waiting. His EKG was fine, so that was a relief. When it was time to install (?) a catheter, I thought the nurse would have me leave or at least get out of the way. Instead, she said," Here, hold this sheet." And after a few days of carrying the bag, and helping him dress, and especially trying not to step on the tubes, I am feeling like we have a very intimate relationship. John and I have been married for just two years. We are both very private people. In fact, neither of us can understand the need for two bathroom sinks. (We watch a lot of home improvement television). We fervently believe that two people never need to be in a bathroom at the same time. Naturally, some of these beliefs have had to change recently.

Before we set up housekeeping together, we had both been alone for several years, and we have become very independent. And maybe we are a little bit set in our ways! We are both used to doing things on our own, and John usually fixes his own breakfast, and does his own laundry, and many other chores. I know, I'm a lucky woman. I haven't done much cooking for a long time, so that has been an adjustment. And obviously, we have very different ways of doing things. I am keeping busy trying to do things the way he likes, since he is my patient. I was pretty proud of my over-easy eggs this morning. I am usually an egg scrambler if I cook them at all. I like coffee for breakfast. Just coffee.

This past week has reminded me a lot of those years when I had toddlers at home. Sometimes, it felt like everything I try to do is interrupted by a need or a want. And naptime is a necessity that doesn't come a minute too soon.

Actually John is doing better now and he approved this message. I am grateful every day that we found one another. My worst problem currently is making sure that he follows the rules and doesn't try to do too much. I came home this morning just in time to stop him from getting into his truck and driving to the bank! He definitely is not ready to drive yet, even though he thought it was a good idea. Every day is a new adventure!