October 12 will be our sixth wedding anniversary. It's hard to believe that we have been married that long. I still think of us as newlyweds. Crazy young kids. Even though at our age, we should be counting every year as ten. That would make this our sixtieth. How time flies. We've decided to take a few days and celebrate in Galena, since it's such a cute little town and only a few hours away. We spent our original honeymoon in Laramie, even though that wasn't our plan. Our car (practically new) broke down, and so we spent most of our time either driving or being stranded or waiting around in dealerships. It wasn't the best way to start a marriage but we managed to survive it. Our trip was cut short, and we drove our loaner car home and returned in mid-December when ours was finally fixed. This was my first hint that John isn't a great traveler. One of my favorite places in Laramie was a bookstore called "The Second Story". It was upstairs in a building originally used as a brothel back in the wild, wild west. There were lots of little rooms.
I have a very nice book of wedding photographs, but since it is the middle of the night and I should be packing for tomorrow I don't have much to show.
Getting married for a second time is very different than the first. Jim and I were very young even though we didn't think so at the time. We were both barely nineteen. Keeping a home and a marriage were both very new to us and we learned together. We were married for almost forty-three years. After that I was on my own for nine years. I became very independent with my time and money. I got used to never telling anyone where I was going or when I would be back. I hadn't dated anyone until I started seeing John. I think we were both surprised that we fit so well together. And we were also surprised that we could love someone again. Every day I am grateful that he came into my life.
Usually, I don't spend a lot of time thinking about what I want to write. I just write from my heart. (I hear that a lot on cooking shows. "Just measure from your heart". It makes me laugh.) This time I really spent some time thinking about it. I asked John what he felt was different about a second marriage and what changes he had to make. He couldn't come up with a single thing. Of course, I had a very long list. Most of them are minor and not very important, but they were still changes in my life. When a person has lived many years as an adult, she becomes accustomed to doing things a certain particular way. And then she marries someone who is also used to doing things his own way. Most of these are not very important at all. They are just things I've noticed along the way.
When we got married in 2019 I moved into the house where John had been happily living for over thirty years. It was a nice place but it never felt like mine. I always said he had the home court advantage because he had lived there so long. Two years ago, we moved to our house. It's the right home for us.
Here are some of the things that we never really think about because we have always done them our own way. One person has to change. I'm pretty sure it is usually the woman.
How do you make the bed?
What brand names do you buy?
How do you cook certain foods?
Are you a cuddler or do you like to sew and work on craft projects while you watch tv?
What kind of tv shows do you watch?
Do you like to be early or are you always late?
Do you stock up or wait until you are almost out of whatever?
What are your politics?
How do you put the toilet paper roll on the holder?
Which side of the bed do you sleep on?
Do you like to read yourself to sleep?
Do you go to bed early or late?
I'm not saying these are problems! We just don't usually think about why we do things the way that we do. It is hard to change after so many years of being a certain way. And so, we have our own bathrooms and never talk about politics. I am very happy with my Second Story. And I am wishing for many more anniversaries together.
Enjoyed!
ReplyDeleteLove this~ so sweet!
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